memes @lemmy.world

5mo ago

Assistant Therapist

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Google: Hey we have this assistant feature . .
Me: No
Google: If you decide you want to try out new assistant . .
Me: No
Google: All you gotta do is ..
Me: No
Me: Hmm I wonder what the quickest way to the event would be
Google Assistant: lol hey I was listening just in case you needed me, would you like my recommendations on clothes you can buy for the event?
- ... One Android update later
  Me: skips "new on android" screen
  Me: wonder what this new button does tap
  Google Assistant: heyheyheeey
  
  Wassa wassa wassa wassa wassuuuuuuuup? Google Assistaaaaaaaaaant!
  
  Sseth here
  
  And now I'm looking at iPhones again.

Degoogle your life

There are Google-free Android ROMs
- You can also disable Google Assistant on any device
  
  But then you'd still have a googled phone.
  
  Sure, but you still get a ton of annoying pop ups asking you to re-enable it. If it doesn't just do it without consulting you.
  At least, that's been my experience on various Samsung phones..
- GrapheneOS my beloved
  
  Yeah, if it was supported on other devices than a Google Phone, I'd probably love it (yes I know, it's due to hardware that apparently no other manufacturer uses, but still it annoys me. A Fairphone with Graphene is my wet dream).
- LineageOS ftw!
  
  I've moved to DivestOS, a fork of Lineage. A bit more restrictive to Google stuff - can run MicroG/GServices isolated.
- Not for every phone. I'd love to get a fairphone, but those are getting more and more expensive. I can't afford those. Phones are BS nowadays
  
  That's true, unfortunately.
  Btw, if you're into FP for sustainability reasons, maybe you want to look at Teracube
- You got a favorite? I’ve been shopping but degoogled non-apple phones seems to be a narrow region with many obstacles for the uninitiated.
  
  I use graphene os and its great and fairly easy to install. Only works on Pixel devices though so you would have to get one of those.
  
  LineageOS supports the most devices, GrapheneOS is the absolute best if you're looking for privacy and security and have a Pixel Phone. You can buy Fairphones and Teracube with /e/OS preinstalled if you're insecure about flashing your phone yourself.
  
  Grapheneos or LineageOS are good.

Disable the google app and assistant app on Android. Ez. You'll never have to deal with it again you're welcome.
- Or use ADB and remove them, that's what I did with all the Samsung and Google junk in this phone.
  
  I did that but then had to reinstall because for some godforsaken reason Duolingo speaking exercises don't work without it. They work if it's disabled but not if it's gone.
- Yeah, this is one of the first things I did and I've not seen the Google Assistant for years.
  
  This is the way.
- Is there a way to get rid of the search bar on my home screen?
  
  Use a custom launcher. IIRC google requires companies using google services to include it.
  
  Not without a custom launcher. On mine the bar doesn't really do anything else other than search the settings. I have all the suggestion options disabled

What assistant? I've never had any annoying popups.
Is it not available for android 11?
Or it could be because I've had "Google" app disabled for the past 3 years.

I tried the new assistant, it took 2 minutes.
"
<movie title>
on imdb" no longer opens the app with the movie.
Switched back immediately.

Got an AUX to USB-C adapter that likes to malfunction and call upon Google Assistent when plugging it first in. Deactivated it, but the damn Popup still appears telling me that Google assistent is deactivated. Just a plain nuisance
- The only time I hear the blasted thing is when I don't hold the power button down long enough on my Bluetooth receiver in the car and for some reason the assistant thinks I've summoned it. Begone foul beast. You taint my vehicle with your presence.

The old assistant was decent but the AI one is a dumpster fire.
- The old assistant wasn't bad, especially before they put lens in the search widget instead of being off in its own place where it belongs so that I can uninstall it.
  I thought Gemini needed 6 more months of development to be ready for prime time. Apparently I wildly underestimated it. Simple tasks barely work and it offloads anything useful to the old assistant anyway.
  I set up a separate assistant button because the assistant on the search bar, even without Gemini, only searches now. I use Firefox so I don't need it for search. I use it to add things to my to do list and to set timers, the only two things voice assistants are good for in my life.
  I don't understand why they won't just let me use technology the way I want to use it rather than trying to force me to use it their way. Well, I refuse to understand even though I kind of get it (if I used shit the way I wanted they'd never have the opportunity to show me an advertisement).
  Edit: clarity
  
  Simple tasks barely work and it offloads anything useful to the old assistant anyway.
  Even worse, some more obscure things I used Google Assistant for, like a coin throw, are not even forwarded to the old assistant. I only get a "I'm sorry, but I can't do that, but I can explain to you what a coin is".
  How did you set up the button? Is there a widget for it I did not see?

I just disable all google apps i don't need..I would uninstall them but im not rooted.

Eat your yogurt, you fucking chud.

Got the update the other day. Immediately disabled Assistant in settings.
There will be no new features worth using, especially considering privacy concerns, until this AI craze blows over, and ultimately that's a long way away since so many executives have more $$$ in their eyes than ever.
My main worry is how long it will take before even disabling such features on one's own device is impossible (and yes, I'm aware that there is already only so much you can do).

laughs in LineageOS

I wish it was a better situation in Apple land. Gotta dodge Apple Arcade, Apple Music, Apple TV nags with every update.

I disabled it and replaced it with blue line console and haven't had an issue since, depite it telling me a bunch of warnings it could mess up my phones functionality.

What's Google Assistant?
- it's like siri, i deactivate it and it activates back itself

I recently discovered if I hold down at the bottom it pops up and every time I'm like "Begone demon!"
- There's usually a way to rebind that. I have mine set to search the web.

Not sure what you are getting, but for me they made it harder to get to the assistant. Now I have to swipe exactly from an edge up to open it. Before that I could just use the search bar

I miss Google assistant.... Now when got discount Google assistant as Gemini

Ass is tant - The rapist

Are you guys getting android updates??

66 comments