Facebook verified a sovcit, who has some advice.

Holy Fucksnacks. My eyes glazed over with all those pseudo-words.

As surety
- I am serious. And don't call me surety.
Perchance
- You can't just say "perchance"
Yeah the first couple of these I tried to make sense of. It's pointless of course, best to just let your eyes roll through it and enjoy the moment

How to Screw Over a Friend with an Overwhelming Debt!

I sweat these idiots think they're casting spells or some shit.

It's actually a very sophisticated game of D&D where they are larping as lawyers in a world where they are not beholden to the spirit of the law
- Nor the letter
I always think of it like they're trying to do real-world video game cheat codes. That's why they're always so weird about language. If they use the exact right code words, the unlock the cheat.

So he wants his friend to get a car loan for a brand new car, then sell the car they now owe a monthly payment on to him for $1000? Why would anyone ever do something so stupid? Is this just a description of how he plans to screw his friend out of a car and a ton of money?

But you see he signed at a 45 degree angle so his friend knows it's all good.
- What if the ink is chartreuse, so not a true red?
Maybe he hopes the friend would then default on the loan, and tell the bank they can't repo the car because someone else owns it now?

IDK, all stupid because this is why the bank holds the title and has a personal guarantee on the original borrower. His credit will get hosed, the bank will file a lawsuit, and the car will still be repo'ed.

Then this sovcit is welcome to go try to tell a judge why he should get the car back.

Is it their intent that the friend is on the hook for a loan with no car to show for it? I can’t tell if they think they’re also canceling the loan.

They definitely think they're cancelling it.
- Yes. The bank holding the title does not, however.
- I think it's more accurate to say they think their offering to pay in full. The cancelation comes if the loan holder doesn't accept their "special deposit" (which now that I typed it out with quotes I can't shake the association with ejaculation).
  
  I think the "special deposit" shudder is part of the whole "the gubmint has an account with millions of dollars tied to your name" shenanigans they try to play.

Step 1: fuck over someone gullible who you've befriended.

"Circle, circle, dot, dot, now I've got my cootie shot. Your move Bank of America"

I feel sorry for the friend who got talked into this.

I didn't understand a single word. can someone explain what this guy thinks he's saying?

Oh I'll try!

I think he thinks by buying the car for $1000 it's his, contract fulfilled he paid for it noone can take it away.

Ignoring how titles work and how you wouldn't be able to get ownership transfered to you with the debt on the original vehicle purchase, he seems to think because he is in the clear (because he bought it legally for $1000) his friend won't still be on the hook for the full price of the contract.

So in his Iala land he would still be screwing his gullible friend over.

I think that's what he is saying...
Buy a car with a huge car loan

Your friend buys the car from you

???

Since you're not the owner of the car, the loan magically disappears
Neither did I. My first thought was, "Maybe I'm not as adult as I thought.", but I think this guy is just speaking out of his ass.
Tldr: Derp