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transgender transgender @lemmy.ml
marcie (she/her) @lemmy.ml

New rule: if you support transgender people or are trans, please change your username (if your instance allows it) to include your preferred pronouns

If you have no preferred pronouns, just say (none) or something

This will help make people feel more comfortable in this comm and has a side effect of showing you support trans people when making comments in other communities. It will also make reactionaries seethe and make it easier for mods to purge them, and make trans people feel safer all over the fediverse.

80 comments

  • So in other words, people who are still eggs, closeted trans people who have an identifiable account and similar groups now have to misgender themselves, which is a much more horrific thing than getting misgendered by someone else.

    Requiring people to state their pronouns is unironically a transphobic policy! Creating an environment in which not stating pronouns can be taken as not supporting trans people is likewise transphobic. The practical consequences of these decisions are extremely bad and I strongly request that you undo it!

    • Lol

      Our instance mandated pronouns years ago. They also mass banned concern trolling posts like this one in the ensuing struggle session. We are better off for it.

    • "Any" is an option, "Use Name" is also an option.

    • 🤡 take. if you don't want to share your pronouns, unsure or use name are both fine. it doesn't out you or misgender you. this is debate nonsense to try to discredit a policy that is definitively helpful for trans people

      • if you don’t want to share your pronouns, unsure or use name are both fine.

        Seconding this, putting something there really isn't a big ask, especially if you're engaging with people in a way you want to be constructive.

    • If they have a practical concern with this they can say something like (use name) (unsure) (any) after their username. Just to verify, are you trans yourself? This is common practice in basically every trans space.

      Requiring people to state their pronouns is unironically a transphobic policy!

      No, it's not.

      closeted trans people who have an identifiable account and similar groups now have to misgender themselves, which is a much more horrific thing than getting misgendered by someone else.

      I would suggest they create a new account for exploring these feelings in trans spaces, then. Its more secure to do that anyways. He/him is the assumed choice in most internet spaces which misgenders a wide swathe of trans people, of course I would prefer it to be they/them, as its better if you don't know pronouns. The reality though is we need to implement these things in steps so people can properly understand why its important to use they/them when you don't know someone's gender. I still get regularly misgendered with she/her in my name, these people that purposefully misgender must be removed from this space to make it safer, and by having more people with pronouns in username, it will make that job easier.

      • If they have a practical concern with this they can say something like (use name) (unsure) (any) after their username. Just to verify, are you trans yourself? This is common practice in basically every trans space.

        Yes, and that is WHY I’m so vocal about it, because I have experience with environments where the choice really was to misgender myself or to risk looking like a biggot. It sucked and that 

         
                Requiring people to state their pronouns is unironically a transphobic policy!

        No, it’s not.

        It forces trans people who are early in their transition and eggs to pick between two really bad options. That makes it functionally (not intentionally) transphobic.

         
                closeted trans people who have an identifiable account and similar groups now have to misgender themselves, which is a much more horrific thing than getting misgendered by someone else.

        I would suggest they create a new account for exploring these feelings in trans spaces, then. Its more secure to do that anyways.

        A big point of something like Lemmy is that you don’t need separate accounts in all the communities that you are in and trans communities should put the bar low for people who are looking to explore things. It may not always be the safest thing to do, but reality is messy and people who are just kinda uncomfortable with what they have may still be far away from understanding.

        He/him is the assumed choice in most internet spaces which misgenders a wide swathe of trans people, of course I would prefer it to be they/them, as its better if you don’t know the person’s pronouns. The reality though is we need to implement these things in steps so people can properly understand why its important to use they/them when you don’t know someone’s gender. I still get regularly misgendered with she/her in my name, these people that purposefully misgender must be removed from this space to make it safer, and by having more people with pronouns in username, it will make that job easier.

        Nobody says you can’t have your pronouns in your username if you want them too, but forcing other people to do the same is really reaching into other people’s personal zone to an extend that I do consider inappropriate.

      • what is the difference between putting (unsure) or (any) and just not having them? you would still basically have to ask or assume you picked the right one.

        on a side note, making "requirements" to be trans is a slippery slope, and nobody should have to prove, or our themselves, just by existing and participating in the world.

        and why should it matter if I know I'm interacting with a trans person? why can't we all just treat each other with respect, and if we want to find out more about each other individually we can just ask?

        and while your solution of "just make another account" could work for some it simply won't work for all

  • Looking at this thread and thinking about the long, laborious work our transgender mods are doing and will have to continue doing to clean this place up

    respect.

  • sharing your pronouns is the very least you can do to show support to trans comrades, so this small request shouldn't be an issue at all

  • I didn't even notice you could alter your display name like this. Almost a year here and somehow missed this feature.

    EDIT:
    And apparently its only working on my blahaj.zone account (lol how appropriate)
    my beehaw account is not letting me update the name
    and my fedia account, which uses mbin doesn't even have it as an option

  • I can't seem to save the settings in order to set my pronouns. Is it just me? I was able to add a pfp but I can't do anything else now. Not sure if I'm doing something wrong or it's rate limited, or what.

80 comments