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Do you have a sibling? What is the relationship like?

I'm male aged 19-22, I have an older brother about 4-5 years older (giving age ranges for better anonymity). Relationship is... not good (read: it's terrible, horrifyingly terrible, arch-nemesis). How about you?

61 comments
  • I have a brother who is younger than me by 6 years. Our upbringing was a bit weird. Our parents basically forbid anything that might cause them inconvenience, irritation, or expense - which was most things that might interest a kid. (No, they're not religious, which is the first question that everyone asks. They're just raging assholes who are also a bit stupid. I can't really explain it much beyond that.)

    In addition to the manipulation and emotional abuse, they rewarded us if we informed on each other. I seldom did. Not through any great virtue or integrity of my own, but because I routinely got punished for the stupid shit he did. For instance, I didn't tell them when our adult neighbor shot little bro with an air rifle because I knew he would catch absolute hell for being in the position of getting shot with an air rifle. Even if I didn't catch hell about it, it was miserable to watch him get screamed at. For context on this story - we had been told to stay away from Steve's yard because Steve was a known psycho with a hatred for neighbor kids. On that glorious summer day, Steve had dropped a $5 bill on his driveway just inside the property line... and was waiting for a kid to come by and be dumb enough to try to pick it up.

    I might actually tell that one at their funeral.

    By contrast, bro was younger and never got any blowback if I was doing something wrong. He actually recorded me talking on the phone with a friend when I was in middle school. He picked up the other line and held one of those shitty '70s tape recorders to the earpiece. Talking on the phone was forbidden and he was collecting proof to use against me. My friend and I weren't plotting shit, I wasn't grounded (the concept was foreign because we were never really allowed to go out or do things like talk on the phone anyway), it was just forbidden to talk on the phone.

    I could excuse it when he was eight, but he passed along "dirt" on me well into his late teens and my twenties. He was under pressure from them as well, but he basically shredded any idea of trust between us for far too many times to count. I forgot what the final straw was, but I remember thinking, "I can never confide in this person and feel trust." In every meaningful way, I've ignored him for the last 20 years.

    He's probably the least shitty thing about family gatherings, but that's not saying much.

  • I'm 34 (male) and my brother is 31. He's my best friend (besides my wife) but he moved like 10 hours away so we try to fly a couple of times a year to hang out. We text every day multiple times.

  • My younger sister is MTF. She's always been a loud asshole, and I had hoped that maybe living as a man was the cause of it. Nope, still a loud asshole. Just with different hardware. Love her to death, though.

    Way better than my crackhead Trump-supporting older sister.

  • Had a older brother lost him 6 years ago found him again last year now we're best brothers again

  • I have a younger brother and a younger sister.

    I don't really speak to my brother. I see him a couple of times a year when the family gets together but we don't have anything to talk about anymore. He's autistic so maybe he can't help it but he's impossible to have a normal relationship with. He's never had a job because he cant be trusted with any kind of responsibility. He can't stay away from alcohol if it's available and he can't handle it at all. It's always the same when he drinks. First he gets overly excited and it's very awkward because his whole personality changes. Then he gets easily irritated and gets into arguments about petty stuff nobody cares about, but he just can't let go.

    He regularly texts family members about how they have let him down when he's getting drunk at night. He gets way more support than he deserves though. Once he just texted me "I'm sorry" and turned his phone off. Naturally I got worried when I couldn't reach him so I called mom, she told me not to worry though, turns out he just does that sometimes.

    My sister and I get along much better but I worry she's losing it. She's easily the smartest and most socially capable of the three of us but she's never had a job outside of telemarketing and now she's too depressed to work at all. We don't have many relatives but the few we do have have a tendency to end up alone, bitter and severely unhealthy as they get old, and it's starting to seem like that's where she's heading.

    I'm very worried they're both gonna come ask me for money when our parents are gone.

  • Younger bro, 2 year age gap. I won't say everything is amazing all the time we've been going through some shit but, he's legit my best friend. I'd do almost anything for him.

  • I have an older brother by 4-5 years.

    We didn’t really get along when we were young. Fought over things - games, TV remote, CD player, etc.

    But when he left for college, we grew closer. He still lived nearby, and my folks encouraged us hanging out. It was sort of an escape. Home life wasn’t great, and he and his friends were fun. He was around for a lot of my pivotal life moments. When I finally got to college, I moved in with him as roommates. Worked well.

    We’re friends, basically. We have very different personalities - but we understand each other very well.

    Now we live in different cities, hours apart. He’s married with a kid. I’m married and childfree. We see each other a few times a year. We text and call regularly.

    I guess in this sense, I’m quite lucky.

  • I have a younger sister and we get along fine. We take a couple of vacations together with our father each year and also meet up once in a while, when it is possible.

  • I have a little sister (not so little any more, she's 33, I'm 38) and I fuckin' hate her guts. We don't talk, I have her on block. She's nuts and that's about all there is to it.

    • Lol the number block is so relatable, I also block my brother's number.

      • She's just nuts, she gets these crazy fits and calls my number to yell at me... F OFF! You're not gonna do that to me any more sis.

        Have her blocked on Viber as well, cuz if she couldn't call me, she just started writing endless messages 😒.

  • Younger brother. Haven't spoken in about 17ish years. About sums it up.

    • I stopped talking to mine when he went batshit because I wouldn't help him get onto Tor/darkweb. He wouldn't say why he wanted to access it, and he got angry when I said I didn't want to get involved.

      Then he accused me of being a "tony blair lover" which is kinda bizarre to me because I don't live in the UK anymore.

      It was a very strange interaction!

  • I have 2 siblings and our relationship for the most part was pretty good.

    Until it got out that I was bi.

    One of siblings is fine with it (they're also bi).

    The other took a similar stance to the rest of my relatives and has all but cut ties with me.

    I say similar as most of my relatives have fully cut ties with me.

    So it could be better.

    • Jeez, whats wrong with these people.

      • They are ruled by their hate and fear of the other.

        They fear their idea of the world being different than it actually is, and the only response they can come up with is a violent and/or hateful one.

  • I have two younger siblings.

    My brother is like my total opposite. We get along but don't really go out of our way to hang out or chat.

    My sister is basically like me, but weirder. We get along great and hang out all the time. And not just because we live together.

  • Younger brother 3-4 years younger, it began as me basically taking my anger out on him when we were kids (I pushed him into the street once). But now? We're at a neutral stand point, however i do get uneasy when I don't hear him in his room. He works now and him being gone feels like i'm missing part of my "pack" to make things simple.

  • I have 9 other siblings, ranging in age from 27 to 48 years old (I think.. it's hard to keep track lol)

    My relationships with them all border on good/tolerable. We are very fortunate to be on good terms, despite our very very different beliefs.

    I think it stems from the fact that we were never raised with malice/anger being an option in our home. Frustrated? Yes. Very much. But we were never hateful. There was always someone to bond with, and no one ever felt singled-out.

    It also helps that we all like our space and were mostly respectful and understanding of that aspect as we grew up. It can be a bit difficult for all of us to make friends who "get" us like our family does, so letting loose at get-togethers is always fun and hilarious.

  • a bro and a sis, live in different countries all of us. crossed water and fire, internal conflicts from time to time, but if somebody dares to touch from the "outside" - we become one buddha palm ;)

61 comments