Woke and gay you say...

Finally a return to traditional values!
- When men were men, girls were girls, and they both raped anyone younger than them to demonstrate their prowess and strength.
  
  And priests could show little boys the light of religion is found through their butthole!
  ......wait, that still happens....
  Ah well. Some things never change I guess.
  
  Ah yes, traditional values where citizens* can be classified as Penetrator or Penetrated
  *qualifications apply

Nothing better when you’re wrestling your buddy nude and all greased up and you fall and their dick accidentally goes in your butthole but you wouldn’t be a very good buddy if you stopped.
- Gotta take ~~one~~ several for the homies. No homie left behind.
  
  Butt many in mine
- Good luck getting through these shitlocks, buster
  
  Fuck, thanks for that mental image

That athlete in the background just getting hit in the balls with a long stick - what sport is that?
- Where did you grow up where you didn't play stickballs?
  
  Is this the same game as ballsticks?
- He's not part of the Olympics. That's just what he's into
  
  Greeks didn't kink shame this sort of thing.
- That's fencing right? They have protective equipment now.

And those aren't even the contestants

I think we should resolve cheating concerns by banning technology at the Olympics. No drugs, no prosthetics, no shoes, no clothes, no cooked meals. Once you arrive at the Olympic village, it's nuts and berries in the nude until the ceremony is over.
You can have access to whatever technology is absolutely necessary for the sport, like guns if the sport is shooting.
- like guns if the sport is shooting.
  Why can't they just throw the bullet with their bare hands as god intended?
  
  That would probably require some insane bone and muscular structure.
  Out of scientific curiosity and for fun, I'm really eager to know now how humans would have to be like biologically/physically in order to throw a bullet with velocities comparable to contemporary weapons. 🤔
  Anyone bored enough to answer that?
- This is basically my hot take about sport! Minus the being lost in the woods. All these bullshit events where you bring your on horse is not a sport.
  
  Here's my hot take. Disclaimer: I'm not saying any of these don't require any skill.
  No sport that isn't objective or purely human should be allowed in the Olympics. No horse dancing, or horse jumping, no skateboarding, or gymnastics, etc etc.
  I would be fine with skateboarding if it was objective stuff like who can ramp off the furthest or who can do X amounts of spins in x time and same for gymnastics. Wrestling should be purely on who can knock out/pin the opponent for x time and not have any technical subjective points.
  Again, I'm not saying any of these shouldn't be allowed to exist or that they aren't impressive/difficult. If it's gonna be a competition about whose the best human on the planet for something it needs to be objective with no room for argument. It's always the subjective sports that people have complaints about, usually about the judges not scoring correctly.

If I am mixing up stuff on the timeline, please correct me...
But didn't greek older men fuck younger men? Usually teacher, student thing... If I remember correctly... But those athletes probably had a teacher...
So these Athletes weren't just nude, they probably had gay sex.
- The gay sex they did back then is what we would call rape today. It usually was pederasty. The young men was often a teen.
  
  I am sorry if I made it sound differently. I intended to hint at that in regards of the "trans people are groomer" folks... I am sorry if I failed.
- For anybody wanting to know more about the history behind this from /r/askhistorians' Iphicartes:
  https://old.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/1372bjg/was_pederasty_really_socially_accepted_in_parts/
- Roman yes. Greek I don't know.
- I'm sure they oiled up each other.

Head twink inspector in the bottom left had a cool gig

Imagine the ratings!
Someone go tell the TV networks this. And no one can complain because its traditional.
- I'm not sure the world is ready.
  It's been nearly 25 years, and Keith Chegwin's Naked Jungle is still seared into my retinas.

There's a scene from Doctor Who that I adore, where Bill, the Doctor's first openly lesbian companion is in a cave with some Ancient Romans, and when she thinks she so futurey and gonna blow their minds by telling them she is only interested in girls, they laugh in confusion and basically say they think her prudishness of only being sexual with women, as they have no such hang ups and go where their sexuality inspires them to go based on their affection for the person, is adorably quaint and smallminded.
IMHO we're the backwards ones with all of our hangups, modesty, and need to declare/define the walls we've made. I've never stopped cringing since I read about humans that knew better than to wall off and hyper-scrutinize their sexuality, a massive part of who we all are whether we've been successfully taught to be ashamed of it and ourselves as current culture demands or not.
Imagine chasing bliss in plastic shit consumerism while denying and being encouraged to be ashamed of your built in capacity for it. 2 steps forward, 2,000 steps back.

Hey guys is it gay to be nude?
- This is the person I think, is asking this kind of question.
- It is if you're in a room full of other naked dudes...
  
  So finns all be gay?

Wtf is the guy in the foreground on the right doing? Kooks like either tying off to ride the white stallion or he's on PCP and degloving himself
- Real answer for anyone curious, he's using one of these.
  https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strigil
  
  Hey ancient Romans? You know what else is a great tool for scraping off dirt, perspiration, and oil...? Water. Gottem...
  
  Weird, thx for the info.
- He's warming up his dildo
  
  It looks like he’s slapping himself with maybe some cattails; maybe to loosen up his muscles?

Such was the style at the time.

Well, it's all Greek to me.

I am patiently waiting for the return of pankration

The classy man's mud wrestling!

In Sparta we open mouth kiss the men to say hello and a handshake for the women!

If I recall correctly, they also would wash themselves with perfume made of the sweat of the gladiators, and something with urin.
- Stop you're making me hungry

Have you even been to a Turkish prison?
- do you like movies about gladiators?

Fun fact. Ancient Romans married men would have young(like really young) boys that they would have gay sex with and also act as a mentor. Married women did the same with young girls.
The original Olympics weren't gay. They were just more open about it.

Why not make the Olympics fun and interesting?