Folks of Lemmy, what would you like for all your sexual partners to know/understand?
Folks of Lemmy, what would you like for all your sexual partners to know/understand?
What are the things you maybe encountered or are generally common that turn you off a lot?
Can share my story as an example. I'm very much a committed monogamous guy, and, for second relationships in a row (fourth total), the girl offers me a condom from an open pack.
They do not use them for their stuff, they literally just kept them for like a year from previous relationships (to which both girls admitted), which is not only a questionable approach to storing condoms (please do not store them in an open box in a random place), but also a giant turn off for me, almost like using sex toys from previous partner.
What are such things in your life? Maybe something that is generally accepted as normal, but makes you uncomfortable? Would love to hear stories from all sides.
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"No" is my main turn off. It works every time.
Other than that, inactive or submissively passive. I'm not looking for a full service car wash, nor am I selling one. If you're waiting for a valet, park your own car.
Messy, toys, whatever - great! You aren't some weirdo that expected me or does this often.
Sex is subsentient animal behavior. It's dirty, smelly, awkward, weird, funny, and stupid. No pretense; embrace the stupid and go with it. Someone's been there before, probably someone will be after. Girls use everything as toys. If she has a collection, be grateful maybe she uses those instead of your toothbrush and pillow.
I have nothing against sex being "dirty, smelly, awkward, weird, funny, and stupid". I'm all for a natural passion that is not a refined picture, nor am I all puritan. In fact, I'd very much allow her to use my toothbrush and pillow should she want it (hot if I think about it), but I'd rather give her what pleases her best :D
I know someone has been there before, I just don't need to be reminded of that with items that were actively used in such process. And yeah, as a fairly monogamous keeper, I'd rather not have someone after unless there's a good reason for us to break up.
Also, yes, on your point, "no" means "no", and I'd rather have other words from her should we go full BDSM. This would otherwise introduce a lot of anxiety about hurting her, even if it's CNC.