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jackmarxist [any] @hexbear.net

12mo ago

Crowdstrike fucks up half of the IT Sector and beyond

https://www.reddit.com/r/crowdstrike/comments/1e6vmkf/bsod_error_in_latest_crowdstrike_update/

Link to the Tech Alrt from crowdstrike's support form: https://supportportal.crowdstrike.com/s/article/Tech-Alert-Windows-crashes-related-to-Falcon-Sensor-2024-07-19

Someone of Wallstreetbets started shorting their stock yesterday lmao https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/1e6ms9z/crowdstrike_is_not_worth_83_billion_dollars/

95 comments

Late stage empire vibes.
Self-own your own IT infrastructure by pushing out an update on your overly bloated domestic security software peddled by your military industrial complex. Wasn't even an attack from a major cyber rival: you fucked this up all on your own.
Your space agency cancels their only moon robot because their contractors bled them dry. Meanwhile your main geopolitical rivals are building entire military bases on the moon.
You have astronauts stranded on a space station because Boeing, your only remaining domestic aerospace company, was taken over by MBAs and can't make airplanes OR space shuttles without endangering your own citizens.
Your two major political parties are so dysfunctional that one got through a whole primary cycle with a decrepit old man before realizing he was actually too senile for the job and now your political elites are forced to play their veto uno reverse card in the media. And the other party just had their candidate survive a homegrown assassination attempt by a slight neck twitch, only to turn around and start endorsing a public plan to dismantle your own government with their VP pick.
And ALL of this in the past week, lmao.
- meanwhile the dei woke gays are the ones currently fixing the problem the failson cishet white guys created by taking m$ kickbacks to use their vulnerable software then mandating that the built-in m$ virus protection was insufficient and shelling out more money for a rootkit company to have control over critical systems
- Is boeing all that's left?
  
  The other aerospace companies are primarily defense oriented
Linux gang stays winning
- I'm in the process of switching, thank goodness.
- Is this an issue I'm too Linux-y to understand?
  I used to be way more evangelical about Linux and a few years ago a bash/terminal exploit was discovered after going unnoticed for like a decade that could give someone superuser privileges to a system and my brother and his friend tried giving me shit over it and I was like "yeah, it's already patched. Like not even an issue. Meanwhile malware and security holes on Windows is just another Tuesday, but whatever."
  
  It's more GNU than Linux. With proprietary software, people are forced to compete to come up with the quickest solution rather than the most correct. Inevitably under a capitalist system, few large conglomerates dominate the field of technology and bend society to its will leading to a space where only venture capitalist grifters can thrive while the public suffers.
  A monoculture is more vulnerable to being wiped out by a single disease. so in the end, like all problems caused by capitalism, will cause the whole system to collapse.
  It's not being an "evangelical" which is the lazy excuse that capitalist bootlickers give to any socialist project. It's about being for the workers.
- This has nothing to do with the operating system that was being run and everything g to do with enterprise using a third party monitoring application that was not tested properly before an update was pushed by the vendor
  
  It probably doesn't have much to do with a side by side comparison of the current OS architectures, but there is a lot of historical inertia behind the current state of the Linux and Windows ecosystems. Windows originated as a graphical shell for DOS, which was mainly a single-user, single-process system. Linux originated as a multi-user, multi-process system since inception. Throughout a long period of Windows's history, these habits lingered among third party developers (developers developers developers) out of convenience or simple necessity for backwards compatibility with other third party components. Even when the NT kernel became the universal Windows kernel with Windows XP, a lot of third party software development adhered to the assumption of a single user machine where the user runs everything with admin privileges. They simply ported their old shit over from (DOS-based) Windows 98/ME and did the bare minimum to make it run on NT. This only reinforced users to run everything as admin, because all sorts of things would break otherwise (admittedly, mostly games and retail shit, but a lot of third-rate enterprise software and harebrained in-house solutions also carried these assumptions forward).
  This has all been pretty much remedied by year 2024, but a lot of these virus scanners and "security" apps still bear the marks of history, running in ring 0 as kernel modules and root-kits to one-up the end-user who is running everything as an admin. The fact that we're even doing third-party security apps in 2024 is the real failure. This stuff should be (and is, to a large degree) built directly into the OS. This stuff only exists because redundant middle-managers throughout corporate America cannot resist being conned by vendors.
  
  Definitely not nothing to do with windows, but you're right that that's the main problem.
  ironically crowdstrike did a similar thing with their linux product a couple months ago but it wasn't a big deal because 1) nobody uses that shit on linux 2) linux isn't as homogenous of a target as windows, so only certain kernels from certain distros were affected.
  
  Because they outsourced and fired their QA, allegedly.
Please be related to them pushing out some AI bullshit that would be so fucking funny
- Peak Reality
Nooo haha don't monopolize key sectors of your economy making it easier to hijack the whole thing and takeover after the revolution haha nooo
(This goes both ways, I wouldn't like this happening to China)
- I hadn't considered speciation and natural seelction as a mode of hardening your systems against attack, honeslty, but i guess that's exactly how it functions in nature.
  
  Ey cuz I'm an RNAi hehe. Funniest thing is that all happened because of an antivirus
  In the ridiculous evolution arms race there are pathogens that hijack precisely the antipathogen systems to do their thing, and then later defense systems which attack exactly that, the whole thing is filled with
  (i couldn't find the non-trans uno reverse card emote)
Imagine using windows for mission critical applications
- Imagine revealing you've never worked for a company whose IT infrastructure is older than you
  
  The nice thing about FORTRAN is there's hardly anyone left who speaks the deep magic so network attacks aren't much of a concern.
  
  These issues are not in windows 98 PCs, these issues are almost entirely on up to date hardware.
  
  linux isn't new, at all
  And the companies with that type of infrastructure are still like 50/50 on DOS not windows
  
  The fact that your infrastructure is old is not an excuse and something to brag about
The wallstreetbets post having been created a few hours before the shortage is wild
- I'm wondering this: If they were associated with it, why would they bother posting about it publicly? Unless it was a coincidence.
  
  It's not insider trading if you're reacting to news from an outsider.
Crowdstrike got their overly valued IPO off planting Russian Bear
signatures in the DNC servers.
Infamously being handed the DNC servers after the party denied the FBI access to investigate.
They admit there was no evidence of Russians after the fact
But it was critical to plant in the news and aided the Empire to stroke up a new Red Scare to justify sanctions.
Crowdstrike was founded by a group of
s connected to the Atlantic Council
and

Cybersecurity Firm That Attributed DNC Hacks to Russia May Have Fabricated Russia Hacking in Ukraine
The firm’s CTO and co-founder, Dmitri Alperovitch, is a senior fellow at the Atlantic Council, a think tank with openly anti-Russian sentiments that is funded by Ukrainian billionaire Victor Pinchuk, who also happened to donate at least $10 million to the Clinton Foundation."
They rode this fake claim to fame on an IPO that valued the company at $7 billion
CrowdStrike Holdings Inc. shares soared nearly 100% at times in their trading debut Wednesday, and the chief executive compared the cybersecurity company to cloud-software giants like Salesforce.com Inc. and ServiceNow Inc. while watching the stock’s huge first-day pop....CrowdStrike CRWD priced an initial public offering Tuesday evening at $34, higher than the expected range. CrowdStrike sold at least 18 million shares at that price to raise more than $610 million at an initial valuation of about $6.7 billion. Underwriters — led by Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan, BofA Merrill Lynch and Barclays — had access to another 2.7 million shares, which could push the total raised to more than $700 million.
Shares gained as much as 97% in Wednesday’s session, though they pulled back to trade lower than the opening price of $63.50.
So not sorry for a bit a schadenfreude that this happens the night
is formally nominated.
My other half watched it and said the family was there.....but Barron was missing
- Russians hacked into a Ukrainian artillery app, resulting in heavy losses of howitzers
  Why does Ukrainian Artillery have an app which can be connected to the internet?
  
  More "advanced" guns is more money for the MIC.
The more I read about it the worse it becomes holy shit. The economic hit would be wild.
Lmao, my company uses that. Let see if I'm going to be able to work today.
Bad news: looks like it was fixed 😕
- We got emergency emails and texts about the outage. I seem to be able to login and work just fine for now
- My work computer isn't working and I actually need to do shit today :(
On a scale of 10 (10 being the 2008 crash) how big is this?
Enlightenment me oh computor mages
- Probably bigger because of how centralized everything has become.
  
  I was thinking about this the other day about how so many functions and internal services for firms, especially IT, were outsourced and centralized. For my company this meant that so many means of internal communication and online storage went from in-house servers to the cloud. Security is fucked because my company depends on another for our private info. Like you can’t have a system that is disconnected from the internet anymore.
- A 3, probably. The fix is simple, if annoyingly manual. It is funny though.
- Not very big. The preppers will feel very smug eating their tinned beans tonight before everything is normal again tomorrow
- You mean the financial crash of 2008? Idk about that, but there will be financial fallout.
  An industry leading antivirus software pushed and update that crashed any windows machine its on. BSOD=blue-screen of death. The devices aren't bricked. The update just needs to be reverted. But applying the update is difficult because the devices are BSOD.
  To get an idea of how wide spread crowd strike is: my employer's clients are requiring all of my employer's computers to have this antivirus software installed.
Lol this is not the "something finally happened" that I hoped to wake up to, but I'll take it.
- A world-wide disruption like this does create plenty of options for things to happen.
  
  but we know nothing will happen
  
  Here's hoping for some mischief!
- Wonder if we can get a bank run going?
Southwest showing the world how it's done:
- Retvrn
how long is this gonna last before it's fixed and back to normal?
Death to America
- There is no automated solution so every device has to be fixed manually. Plus with Bitlocker it becomes more difficult if the keys are stored on a server that can't start anymore. It'll be a pain and will probably last a month or two because of how big the scale is.
  
  fuck yes. hell yes dude, i love the market
  Death to America
  
  every device has to be fixed manually
  Depends, if you have a PXE boot setup, then you can use that to fix the machines. But I most people will be out of luck and do the manual route like you said
hey guys just started my job at crowdstrike and pushed a little update, gonna relax the rest of the day
Richard Stallman gets proven right once again. The West will rather collapse than ever consider a sustainable software model.
I'm even more GNUpilled right now.
stays winning
- How so in this context
  
  "Mac and Linux hosts are not impacted"
  and a lot of Linux computers wouldn't be using a solution like this, regardless
As someone who worked this last night:
World got ClownStriked.
Call me crazy, but if I were to look back at the history of cybersecurity in, oh I dunno, 20 years? And I read about the “Crowdstrike Outage” long after this company is gone, I’m immediately gonna assume “Crowdstrike” is the name of a piece of malware
here for the chaos
Do they not even do an incremental update? They just pushed it out to all customers at once?
- Security scanning software is the fucking wild west. They explicitly tell you to always be running the latest version at all times despite that being against best practices, so if the latest update has a bug you're fucked until they push a fix rather than just rolling back like you would anything else.
- I work at another big company. We generally expect customers to never adopt version X.0. Lots of our customers are at least 2 years behind our major update (we do push small patches backwards). Our workload would be insane if everyone was on the same newest version, because we'd be panicking constantly.
lmao the only reason I'm able to get work done is because I'm working from home today. My entire school is SOL otherwise.
- I’m always surprised we have so many iRacers here.
  
  lol I think it’s just us two.
Good reminder that computers aren’t of nature
Hope this happens more tbh
I don't know what Crowdstrike is, but at this point I'm too afraid to ask.
- This is just the classic case of the real malware being the antimalware all this time.
This happened in 2010 also https://archive.is/seLwa
- LMAO it was the same guys back then too! https://www.reuters.com/article/us-mcafee-departures-idUSTRE79H63Y20111018/
I forget people would actually take these guys seriously and trust millions of dollars with them.
Rip I just got the "we're fucked" text from my employer. Looks like America's least favorite company is internally screwed.
- Must be hard working for the CIA
  
  Just the NSA. Dental plan is better.
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95 comments