Trump Site Launches Limited-Edition Assassination Attempt Sneakers
Trump Site Launches Limited-Edition Assassination Attempt Sneakers

Trump Site Launches Limited-Edition Assassination Attempt Sneakers

Trump Site Launches Limited-Edition Assassination Attempt Sneakers
Trump Site Launches Limited-Edition Assassination Attempt Sneakers
Wait, this isn't satire?
Nope.
I was about to say, I had just read two Onion articles in the last ten minutes, and thought The Onion was hitting it hard today. Then I saw what community this was in and despaired.
Nope, and they cost $300. That's kinda funny though. Guaranteed they're made in China and cost less than ten bucks.
Pumped up kicks?
That's an extremely apropos reference on many accounts.
Simpsons did it?
Damn I scrolled past thinking it was onion flavored.
It. Is. Not. A. KKKUlt.
This is the best summary I could come up with:
GetTrumpSneakers.com, a website owned by Donald Trump, is the go-to retailer to secure a pair of high-top sneakers printed with an image from the recent assassination attempt against the former president.
The white sneaker features a five-star American flag on the upper portion of the shoe, just above the photo of Trump holding his fist up after being shot in the ear at a rally in Butler, Pennsylvania, last weekend.
If that wasn’t enough, the site is incentivizing supporters to purchase the unsightly footwear with a bonus offer: 10 pairs will be randomly autographed by Trump.
Sizes 5 through 8 are still listed online, with all pairs expected to ship in September or October with each being made to order.
“Show your support and patriotic pride with these exclusive sneakers, capturing a defining moment in history,” a description on the website reads, claiming that the shoes “honor his unwavering determination and bravery.” The shooting left Trump bleeding, but otherwise stable.
Those shoes were announced at Sneaker Con Philadelphia the day after he was ordered to pay $454 million in fines for years of bank fraud in New York — and a few weeks after he was hit with a $83.3 million ruling in a rape defamation case.
The original article contains 302 words, the summary contains 207 words. Saved 31%. I'm a bot and I'm open source!
Sizes 5 through 8 are still listed online, with all pairs expected to ship in September or October with each being made to order.
If they're being made to order why are they only available in small...? Average men's shoe size in the US is 10.5.
Not the weirdest part of this article for sure, but still.
Ranks right up there with the "Presidential Pleasure" Trump Buttplug.
Of course he would.
I must admit this seems like good marketing tbh..
there is no bottom