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  • It's a race to the bed, as everybody knows monsters can't invade your bed, that's why so many of them live under it

  • I walk slowly to my room in the dark to assert dominance

    • Unironically this is what got me to stop being afraid of the dark when I was 11. I just hyped myself up real hard, hit the lights, and intentionally slow-walked back to bed. Show no weakness.

  • "Alexa, all lights off."

    Now, talk to me about going up the stairs from the basement alone...

    Everyone knows that's how the evil clown, ghost, or whatever basement demon living in your house gets you...

    Grabs your ankles ands pulls you right back down...

29 comments