Peak mankind

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Yeah but that one time it comes over and you get to pet the cat gives you all the dopamine you need for an entire day
- Right?! I have little dignity anyway; losing what's left to pet an unknown, outdoor cat is totally worth it.
- I went psst psssst pssst to a cute cat in a garden I was passing, not noticing a woman walking towards me. She thought I was hissing at her, gave me such a LOOK. She was wearing hijab, I'm an old lady, who knows what was going through her head.
  No dopamine for me that day.
- Exactly. If you‘re a grown up with a job I recon a whole week.

least dignified
You have never seen me half-jog across a crosswalk.
- Do you need to hold your boobs, like I do?
  
  Why do you need to hold their boobs though?
  
  I noticed I was starting to get overweight when I realised I had to hold my stomach when going down the stairs quickly.
  Then you start to notice other people doing it too.
- My sandal fell off the last time I did that, making it even worse.
  
  I would just lie down and die

If you want to entice a cat to come closer, don't look at it! Direct eye contact is seen as threatening.
Put out your hand, point your face away from the cat, and put your hand out while gently calling it over. Your success rate will be much higher!
Also, a good cat-noise to attract them is a light trill with an upward inflection. It's my go-to when assuring nervous/unsure cats.

Psssp pssp pssssp
- What. I was in the middle of something. What do you want? You know what? Nevermind, I'm just going to go back to what I was doing.

I do this with my own household cats and they still ignore me. The one time I got to pet a wild kitty I was still in middle school and the other kids got all grossed out
Baby just needed some matted fur to be shaved off and a bath :(

Never understood the dumbass pspsps thing. It's annoying and I've pretty much never seen it work. What always has worked for me is to chill just a little ways away and completely ignore them. Just as non-threatening as you can make yourself if you were a piece of furniture left out on the sidewalk.
From personal experience, cats hate being made to do things and don't come when called unless they already know you and like you a lot. But they also loathe being ignored and will snoof right over shortly to the one person being completely indifferent to them.
This would be the same reason they seem to mercilessly hunt anyone with a cat allergy. Your perceived dislike of them shall not stand!
- Pspsps is essential. It draws the cat's attention to you. Then you extend a hand and look at how the cat's reacting to it. You can tell with great accuracy how interested the cat is in being pet by you, just by watching that. Works great for me. And believe me, as a resident of İstanbul for more than two decades, I have considerable experience with stray cats. I have honed my stray cat petting skills by going out of my way to interact with most of the cats I see on the streets, which is of course a rather large number of cats because İstanbul.
  
  Agreed. I live in a European country where it's very normal to let your cats outside, and I was a mail carrier for 4 years, so I got to pet so many cats 5 days a week. You do the pspsps, then crouch a bit and extend the hand. They either ignore you and move or on they're interested and come to you and bam you're petting a sweet kitty.
  
  I prefer clicking my tongue instead of pspspsps
- The psssppsssp thing just gets their attention. It may not get them to come over and they may act like they’re ignoring you, but it absolutely gets them to notice you- especially if it’s quiet.
  It doesn’t change how the cat is going to behave after noticing, though and it’s best to play it off as not meant for them.
  Another way I’ve had good luck is in creating some kind of toy to entice them to play- anything similar to those feather toys, for example. Rather than trying to play directly, flip it around in an open space… make it twitch… trigger their predatory instincts.
  
  It’s also regional. Most people around here click their tongues at cats. In Quebec I’ve heard people whisper “ici” at cats.
- So, in short, cats are tsunderes?

Dignity doesn't pay the bills.
- Are you getting paid to pet cats? Where do I apply?

Sometimes it works though

My neighborhood has a number of friendly outdoor cats. Id say at least half of them will run up to me and let me pet them

I don't care. I know they are all better than me.

My girlfriend is a cat whisperer. When she meows, the random cat comes over to her 90% of the time.

This post reminded me of that cat from azumanga daioh
- Are you the kid that the cat just rips to shreds every time?

My boyfriend and I have been looking for a house to buy for a loooong time before we bought our current home. One of the things we would do after viewing a potential house is “the cat test” which ment walking around the neighbourhood trying to find friendly cats.

...this is how pretty much all my cats adopted me...

Not possible. She is no random person as she is in fact the queen of thyme. Quit the BS, we all know what’s up.

47 comments