Always try sudo

Doctor of Computer Science

stringly-typed "100%"

yeah that tracks.

Calls a static method on the OldMan class instead of the instance of oldMan that is actually dying.
- Tonight's story: Every man older than OldMan.getMinimumAge() has been in perfect *unchanging* health for the last few months‽ To find out why, stay tuned! Our experts chime in to help you understand....
- That's an instance property
str(float("100.0")) + "%"

WHY IS THE HEALTH INPUT PARAMETER A GODDAMN STRING?????????????

Why are you passing ‘%’ inside said goddamn string?!?! Not to mention the static reference instead of the actual instance.

Shame on you

Also putting sudo in front of what looks like Java code not shell.
OldMan.setHealth("Robert'); DROP TABLE Students;--")
- Finally someone with some wisdom
I guess its just a reminder that getting a PhD is often more about dedication than it is about practical knowledge.
Because the meme wasn't made by someone with a doctorate in CS or even a bachelor's.
Smells like JavaScript.
It's not his fault the world is made this way.

He just has to follow it or else that man dies.
- Found the legacy support person
They use a look-up table with every value from 0% to 100%
- Floating points included for thoroughness!
- Found the legacy support person
Honestly, if someone were to try to safe my life. And I find out he uses a string as a parameter to do so. Just let me die right there.
The high level setter function should be made to handle both string and numeric values.

If it contains "%" it's a percentage value.

If it's a string without a "%" it's an absolute value and needs to be normalized.

If it's a numeric value, it's an absolute value.

If it's a numeric 100, it's 100%.

If it's a subunitary numeric value, it's a percentage.
- yeah I’m gonna go ahead and reject your PR, please change this function to accept a decimal value between 0 and 1
- If it’s a numeric 100, it’s 100%.
  
  absolute lunacy
- Oldman.setHealth("dicktits"); //normalize pls
  
  Oldman.setHealth("-100±1%"); //make percentage pls
  
  Oldman.setHealth(0.0); //it is subunitary, but undefined behavior - will it access the 'numeric value' overload, or the 'subunitary numeric value' overload?
  
  Don't write your own code just yet.
- "5%1 "
Yeah, in Ren'py games usually it's character_health=100 or something.
- Yes absolutely, the parameter even if not in a strongly typed language should be a specific number and the unit should be implied. Overload the method to support different units if necessary or provide a unit as an additional parameter instead of forcing the method to parse the string for any unit type hints that may or may not be there

sudo rm /heart/arteries/**/clot

Very important to not hit enter before clot.
- That's why you have backups.
Isn’t it /dev/heart?
- I feel like if your body follows the Unix filesystem structure, you have a real problem.
Please forgive my ignorance. What does ** do?
- Acts as a wildcard for any directories that exist between arteries and clot.
- It's a glob pattern (edit: tried to find a source that actually showed ** in use).
- Had to look this up as well. Its not rm specific:
  
  * is a simple, non-recursive wildcard representing zero or more characters which you can use for paths and file names. ** is a recursive wildcard that can only be used with paths, not file names.
  
  More here.
- Permanently Deleted

You are not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported.

https://xkcd.com/838/

Goddamn, the joke gets worse the more I inspect each panel.

XKCD 149 but worse.
- Link for the lazy.
The font changes like 3 times 👌
- They are a doctor of computer science, not a doctor of design. You need a design phd to pick correct fonts.

Can he also fix alzheimer's by hunting down memory leaks.

Yeah, he reimplemented it in Java to get garbage collection. The Alzheimer's is cured but he takes ten minutes to pour a glass of water.
👏🤝

"Wait! We need to get the user story before we start working on a solution!"

The holistic approach

Did he just give every old man perfect health?!

no it says OldMan not OldMen
- Right but is it every OldMan?

sudo apt-get AED

sudo pacman -S new-heart

Top-tier endangerment bait lmao

Bash-Java

See that's the issue, he should have tried stopping the cardiac arrest process instead of just resetting the man to the beginning of it

Patient HP kept dropping to zero after resetting, but we don't have budget to investigate why and this was supposed to be worth only 1 story point, so we set up a microservice that runs a job every 200ms to set HP back to 100. So long as nothing shuts down the service, patient should be fine. Marking as Done.
Whoops, stopped the lungs process instead of the cardiac arrest process.

Actually you really want to restart the heart service, right? sudo systemd restart heart
- Depends on who's working the terminal, nano vs vim difference

HeLlOoOoO, wHaT nOw? It'S a Do Or DiE sItUaTiOn, HuRrY!

I wish there was a last panel of the old guy getting revived, I think it would be funny

bash: sudo: command not found

After all, we don't know that he has it installed, especially if he's running a really old distro.

Just turn him off and on again.

Have you tried magic, like Kadorto?:-)

Is that Noel Fielding?

That command syntax looks kind of like how Skyrim's scripting console works, and gods help us if reality is a Bethesda game! (Kind of, if you added string-parsing based overloads and, for some reason, a command-syntax sudo keyword.