While I don't think you're wrong, they are talking about different things. One is how you're doing despite being working class. Are you a making it? Keeping your head above water? A dentist or engineer making $250k+? Do you struggle to eat or clean yourself every day?
The other is how do you make your money. Do you work for it or do you exploit for it. Were you simply born into it?
If you define "middle class" as having a phone and a car and a job, then yes, there are countless middle-class families who get some form of assistance.
Middle-class, working families who live in their fuicking car.
the middle class in America goes up to fucking $50 million dollars, Elon Musk could still have these minor millionaires killed for looking at him wrong
American exceptionalism and identity politics have become so ingrained in the culture that it is too painful for people to identify as lower class and needing assistance. Needing help has become considered a moral failing of the individual instead of a failing of the society, and that feeds back into itself to prevent people from changing the culture.
Pretty much everyone calls themselves middle class. Outside of the extremes one would expect, there will always be richer and poorer people among you, meaning you're in the "middle" - whether you're struggling to make rent or debating whether or not to go to the vacation home this weekend.
Doesn't mean you don't call yourself middle class, because at least you're not homeless. At the very least, "lower-middle class"
20-something years ago PBS had an excellent documentary called "People Like Us: Social Class in America" to show, well, social class in America. If you can find it, or at least clips of it, I'd recommend it. There was one cutscene with a bunch of people being asked which class they see themselves as, and pretty much everyone felt they were "middle class" - but you could tell by the way they presented themselves (clothes, jewelry, etc) that they were all over the place.
People see themselves through a bias filter. Doesn't make it true. People don't like to call themselves lower class even when they are. Especially when they were probably raised middle class, because that paints a picture of failure.
If you struggle with rent or groceries you are lower class. If you're making minimum wage you're lower class.
I don't think we really disagree here. You're focusing on what people are. I'm focusing on how they see themselves. They're not necessarily the same things.