7mo ago

I asked what Fetterman had been reading about Israel, meaning books - but he understood me to be asking about which news outlets he read. He opened his phone and showed me his Apple News feed

web.archive.org John Fetterman’s War

Is the Pennsylvania senator trolling the left or offering a way forward for Democrats?

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On a cool, sunny evening in April, John Fetterman, the junior senator from ….
Oh fuck I stopped right there.
- That sounds like the opening line from a very bad novel.
  
  Journalists are pretty much all failed authors so that makes sense.
  
  Well, it COULD be a very good novel
  Pause
  
  Lathe time?
  TMZ announcer: "The Pulitzer Prize wining novel Fohn Jetterman has been green lit for an HBO miniseries. Journalist Benjamin Wallace who wrote the novel and who has no showbiz experience will be directing eight episode project. It's rumored to have a 200 million dollar budget. Wait - we thought this was boring political stuff. What's up with that yuge budget? Are there superheroes up in this joint? What's goin' on here?! The TMZ Investigative Team is on the scene..."
- You get used to it. New Yorker writers are contractually obligated to start every political puff piece that way.
  
  I love how every liberal “journalist” stretches what should’ve been a 200 word summary into a thousand page book that dedicates an entire chapter to the wacky way they tie their shoes in the morning.
  
  "At Oktoberfest, it was the best of times; it was the wurst of times. John Fetterman, the hulking junior Senator from Pennsylvania, grinned as he heaped coleslaw and french fries atop a mound of sausage. 'You gotta open the throat,' he opined with a twinkle in his eye. Nothing could have prepared me for what came next. "
  
  "Nothing could have prepared me for what came next: John Fetterman."

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