Me, explaining Easter to my wife, who grew up amongst the heathens

You know Osiris? Kind of like that, but it's in Israel instead of Egypt, and there's only one God, who has two different forms, one in heaven but also is a dude down on earth, until eventually it's revealed he has three different forms not just two. Also unlike with Egypt, a significant lack of animal heads, all just like normal human heads. Except the holy spirit who's like a ghost or something. Nailed it.

Wait you don't know Osiris? Crap, let's talk Quetzalcóatl then. So he's like this giant snake with feathers...