What weird idioms/phrases does your language have?

A great Australian one that doesn't involve spiders or cunts is "tell 'im he's dreamin'", usually said in a real broad accent (you can change the pronouns around what more matters is the way you say it). Usually used whenever someone's asking too much money for something but can also be used for when someone's asking for too much in general and basically means "are you fucking kidding me that's way too expensive". It's from a great movie called The Castle. It also gave us the saying "[this is going] straight to the pool room" meaning "shit this is really nice thanks" (because the pool room is where you put your trophies and whatnot) but I think that's a little less common.

On the other side of the globe, Norway uses "Texas" to mean "crazy weird shit". There's also "kamelåså" which generally means "unintelligible (like a Danish person)" which is from this great comedy sketch about Denmark that's so good NRK decided they had to translate it into English just so people could make fun of Danish internationally (The untranslated bits are just danish sounding gibberish)