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If you really cannot take or make a phone call without drama and anxiety, please go see a therapist. You don't have to live like this.
This image isn't even referring to young people with phone anxiety, it's about how you are conditioned to think an unexpected call from family is bad news.
I honestly want to both upvote and downvote this comment.
Just call blergh on the phone, no need to upvote or downvote
I'm in my mid 40's, late Gen X and I absolutely despise any phone calls I don't decide to make myself, and out of respect for others who might feel like I do, I will try most other avenues of communication before resorting to a phone call.
I didn't use to mind them at all back in the land line days, but as soon as everyone started getting cell phones there was this undercurrent of expectation that every moment of YOUR time actually belongs to someone else...because you're AVAILABLE ANYWHERE NOW.
It started slow, but it didn't get really bad until about 2007.
It got to the point where people would get your voicemail, hang up, and redial over and over until I answered. I saw it happening more and more frequently to myself and many others, from all walks of caller.
I finally started cutting people like that out of my life a few years ago because in the intervening decade and a half it hasn't really gotten much better, except among the younger folks who just hate phone calls.
It's almost like Self + Possibility of Instant Gratification = Utter Fuckwad much of the time.
It's not about respect or anything, because fuck entitlement, but if it's really not so ridiculously utterly important that I should be stopping mid-poop and doing something about it, LEAVE A MESSAGE. USE TEXT. USE E-MAIL, USE MESSENGER, USE ANYTHING ASYNCHRONOUS.
Too many people's priority is themselves and only themselves to the outright blatant detriment of others.
It's ridiculous, and I blame cell phones, social media, and large swaths of marketing and advertising firms for the cultural paradigm shift.
The drain on a person's emotional and mental resources when they feel a social responsibility to their relationships with their friends and loved ones but are always forced to do things on everyone else's "me first" terms is the exact same sort of phenomenon that causes workplace burnout when jobs do it with things like not setting up a good work/life balance and not being proactive/planning in regards to workplace tasks/projects/deadlines. (Agile is a major offender here, as is scrum, and every management book from traction to...hell, pick any one of them, everything I've been forced to read is borderling toxic when applied.)
Therapy's great and all and I'm 100% in favor of it (for everyone, really), but when noone is respecting boundaries, there's not a whole hell of a lot it's going to do in this particular regard.
Hell, I know a lot of people whose boundary is "no phone calls unless (list of super serious things like someone died) or we text first and agree on a phone call" and when someone potentially has that boundary and then panicks when they get a phone call outside of it, the solution might be a little more advanced than "seek help". It sucks, (and there's plenty of room for nuance) but I feel the change in culture is far more at fault here than anything else.
Uh, you kind of hit on and conflate several different points here. I am younger than you (33) but I do remember that era of "dumb cell phone" when people expected you to be able to pick up their call at any time. And yes, it was annoying.
But that's what it was. Annoying. Not traumatic or upsetting, just annoying.
Hell, I know a lot of people whose boundary is “no phone calls unless (list of super serious things like someone died) or we text first and agree on a phone call” and when someone potentially has that boundary and then panicks when they get a phone call outside of it, the solution might be a little more advanced than “seek help”.
Nope, the solution is still "seek help" because that's an unhealthy and maladaptive boundary. You should be able to take a phone call as an adult without panicking. At most, it should cause you annoyance and dealing with annoyance properly is one of the main skills of adulthood.
Tldr, but did you know that people (including you) can simply opt not to answer? That's possible. If someone is a problem caller talk to them. You're WAY overcomplicating this. Getting a phone call isn't dramatic. Answer it or don't.
Seriously, I read the first bit and just thought - if people didn't want to accept calls they'll just ignore it or put the phone on silent. Don't overthink basic social interaction!
Cold calls are rude. My 76 year old mom will not cold call because she understands convention.
Hardline phones had no way to ensure the timing of a call was considerate. Tech has moved on, and coordination is trivially easy. It is, in my opinion, rude to call or a sign of significant import.
If my mom calls without texting, it's an accident or imprtant/urgent.
I don’t want to “coordinate” phone calls with my friends and family as if we’re at work.
“Cold calling” is a marketing term. When I call my friends, it’s a warm call. A friendly call.
What a sad and cold world you live in. I honestly feel bad for you.
You are a data point. However, I can probably guarantee you that people do not appreciate your approach to calls. If you're in the US, at least.
Given your grumpy retort to my anecdote about my preference, I'm going to wonder about your warmth.