Trans Megathread for the Week of November 4th, 2024 to November 10th, 2024
Trans Megathread for the Week of November 4th, 2024 to November 10th, 2024
DEMOS (Dialogovaya Edinaya Mobilnaya Operatsionnaya Sistema: Russian: Диалоговая Единая Мобильная Операционная Система, ДЕМОС, lit. 'Interactive Unified Portable Operating System') is a Unix-like operating system developed in the Soviet Union. It is derived from Berkeley Software Distribution (BSD) Unix.
It's development was initiated in the Kurchatov Institute of Atomic Energy in Moscow in 1982, and development continued in cooperation from other institutes, and commercialized by DEMOS Co-operative which employed most key contributors to DEMOS and to its earlier alternative, MNOS (a clone of Version 6 Unix). MNOS and DEMOS version 1.x were gradually merged from 1986 until 1990, leaving the joint OS, DEMOS version 2.x, with support for different Cyrillic script character encoding (charsets) (KOI-8 and U-code, used in DEMOS 1 and MNOS, respectively).
Initially it was developed for SM-4 (a PDP-11/40 clone) and SM-1600. Later it was ported to Elektronika-1082, BESM, ES EVM, clones of VAX-11 (SM-1700), and several other platforms, including PC/XT, Elektronika-85 (a clone of DEC Professional), and several Motorola 68020-based microcomputers.
The development of DEMOS effectively ceased in 1991, when the second project of the DEMOS team, RELCOM, took priority.
An archive of the DEMOS source code can found here: https://github.com/bpr97050/DEMOS There's some interesting comments and mailing list archives in that repository as well. :)
Join our public Matrix server! https://matrix.to/#/#tracha:chapo.chat
As a reminder, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
You're viewing a single thread.
I HATE having things I want to say, thoughts I want to share, but knowing I can't. Inappropriate to share here, therapist will try and send me to inpatient. Also just like, fuck him. Last session he brought up for the fucking hundredth time he's worried I'm "being influenced" and "going with the flow". Dipshit. Because I guess that's what people with avpd do. Honestly I should just never mention my diagnosises to anyone again if they're going to be used against me like that.
Actually, I just saw something to make me even more upset, why tf not post it if I want to. Very upsetting, don't read if you aren't ready for that, whatever.
suicide and self harm
Why the fuck is cutting not a method? Literally like a 3% chance. Why can't I just cut myself and bleed out. I love cutting, I want to die a mess, its literally perfect IF IT COULD FUCKING WORK. But it wouldn't. And, bonus upsetting thing about it, any failure would probably fuck me over forever in some way. Hit a nerve or muscle or some shit. Unlike other methods who's failure wouldn't really do that. Not that I have what I need for those methods either.
god it would just be so good. I have sharps, I love blood, I love the feeling of cutting myself. What a way for me to go. But no, that's not actually how it works. Fucking, 3% chance. I'm in no way more able to do it then 97% of people who try.
edit: oh, but at least the shit I did the other day makes these feelings easier to deal with. less painful. Fucking love having open shit. How on earth could I function without cutting myself tbh.
spoiler
You suffer, then you die. I've suffered, can I move past it please? Step 1 is finished.
spoiler
I've written notes before. I always struggled, because I didn't have the words to describe my suffering. It was unclear to me. Now, it is much clearer. I don't have a desire to write anything lengthy though. It isn't possible for them to understand anyway. When the time comes, I'll probably just write something short. Leaving without saying anything seems wrong. Something short and simple seems fitting. I've never liked saying more then I need to.
Please stay safe.
spoiler
Eggy, just know we support you and if you really need assistance leaving your current situation please let me know, our mutual aid group is specifically for people that are in deep shit like this. Suicide isnt the way to go before trying other options, I was in your shoes before and I wouldn't have been able to help so many people if I had given in to those thoughts. You can be happy!
Permanently Deleted
spoiler
Life is truly suffering. We will all die before we know it. I try to remain vaguely optimistic as I take comfort in the fact that everything slips by already. All things change though, and there is some fleeting pleasure. Pay enough attention to reality and stop caring and pain and pleasure stop differentiating and it’s all absurd experience that’s kinda cool. Or so I’m told. I’m worried I sound like a prick but I’m miserable and think the buddhadharma is worth a shot when Its all pointless either way.
You don't sound that way at all, you sound like you are trying to make me feel better. Thank you. I will try to stay safe.
Tbh I don't share my anxiety with doctors anymore because they just use it to dismiss whatever I'm feeling.
He's worried you're being influenced? Sounds like he's trying to influence you, sis.
Going with the flow? Yeah, because the flow on the trans river is really fucking gentle, right? Lol. Who would get roped into being trans because it seems like the easiest thing to do? Most people are overwhelmed by being trans because it's literally going against the flow of society.
I've said it before, you need to get away from this guy.
I don't get it at all. I've told him its terrible, that I struggle to function, and I relapsed with my self harm stuff. I don't know why he keeps bringing it up as a thing he's worried about. Definitely completely overwhelmed by it.
I know you have, I need to. If it wasn't so entangled with my family I would have already.
If it wasn't so entangled with my family
I'm noticing a trend...
I mean, yea. Kinda embarrassing. Trying to work on it when I'm doing better then... whatever has happened tonight.
There are bad nights
Funny to think just like 3 weeks ago I was a mess crying on the couch, completely non functioning. A lot can happen in a little time!
You'll be in a position to make the change eventually
Bullshit. Dump him. Everyone is fucking constantly influenced. No one’s had an original thought in their life. Few thoughts are so unoriginal as “you’re just stupid and hallucinating things. I’m right tho.”
Permanently Deleted