AskUSA

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Next week will have lots of political excitement going on, I'm sure. Despite that, hopefully you're having an OK week

Coming from this post:

https://lemmy.world/post/24352555

> Ordering coffee in the USA triggers me > > I went to dunkin’ the other day and asked for an iced latte with less ice because it’s winter and I wanted less ice. They gave me a cup that was halfway full of coffee. So I asked why and they told me they press a button on a machine, it fills it halfway full with coffee and then they add ice. So when you get a medium iced latte, you’re not actually getting a medium latte, you’re getting a small or a kids size nowadays of coffee, and then they just fill the rest of it with ice. If you ask for less ice, no screw you, you’re not getting the full amount of coffee that you paid for… > > I have never heard of this in any other country. What the hell?

Hi European here.

I always heard America is pretty competitive and that the people are very direct/speak their mind.

I'm quite the sensitive person, so I was wondering if it could be hard for me if I would ever go to America and if I needed to become more "tough".

And would someone like me even be welcomed or would I be rejected?

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/nearly-half-of-u-s-adults-say-dating-has-gotten-harder-for-most-people-in-the-last-10-years/

https://www.forbes.com/health/dating/dating-statistics/#footnote_15

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.sdf.org/post/27891382

> My social media environment (mostly Lemmy for the last year, after I left Reddit) is very leftist. I'm finding myself floating more and more left because y'all have a point and there's not many counter-arguments in this social media environment. I sometimes wonder if that's how MAGA folks feel--floating more and more right because that's what they're surrounded by. > > Of course, my floating is (naturally /s) based on reason and leftists making good memes/arguments. > > Anyways, that's this morning's introspection. > > Side showerthought: my convictions are based on memes. Anyone have nice, accessible resources for giving those convictions a more solid base? I'd love something like a graphic history of leftist thought (similar to Queer: A Graphic History). Something approachable but with citations. Thanks :) > >

Anything exciting/good/bad happen? My excitement for the week was playing this trick-taking game for the first time, it was pretty fun:

https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/324856/the-crew-mission-deep-sea

Beer, wine, liquor, whatever your favorite drink is. What are specific good products/brands/whatever?

Coming from this post, I made an online Moldovan friend & he's asking me about life in the US :):

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I for one just wear whatever Costco has for reasonable prices

I was reading some articles and wow, just wow, they hit hard. I've almost never not had toxic bosses, except one who I absolutely adored (but he lost his own job, not being willing to suck up appropriately), and yet lately I haven't realized how bad my current situation has been!:-(

A not comprehensive listing could include:

• one who yells at people, both to their face and all the more so behind their backs, especially their own bosses
• highlights your weaknesses but ignores your strengths and also their own mistakes
• fails to tell you what they expect from you or give you the info you need to do the job yet expects you to magically fulfill their desires regardless
• is unrealistic, probably also disregarding work+life balance
• uses micromanagement or a culture of fear/intimidation; all communication with others must go to through them, possibly not even letting you listen in on the sidelines
• will not accept feedback or criticism
• takes credit for people's work, especially when they don't even understand what it is
• says hurtful/rude things, manipulative like the rules keep changing and you have no idea whatever is going on, basically lacks empathy
• plays favorites for people who suck up rather than actually are good at their tasks

Probably you can add to this list - these are just the ones my current boss does alone, but surely there are more?

How do you survive it? Personally I've been trying to bide my time to heal from emotional scars, so just doing whatever I can to get through each day/week.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/23918655

> Is it cause of coverage, download speeds, was it cheap, did you trust them more, do they have some bonus on top of phone data, or was it just what your family had and you got it too?

I'm thinking about things like free museums Sundays or times to get specific things (e.g. candies after Halloween as they are on discount)

• https://discuss.online/post/14913101
• !asklemmy@lemmy.world

Straight forward question. If leftist hate the Democratic Party so much, why don’t they all come together and create their own party. Have their own primaries, campaigns, candidates, etc.

Gonna keep this short and straight to the point, we all know how they act.

With trump siding with the Tech Bros Billionaires on immigration, even after his most die hard supporters were against it. I see several MAGAS just falling in line with Elon calling them stupid and that’s why we need more educated and qualified people to take these better jobs (whilst we’re on the cusp of deleting the Department of Education).

Anyone with functions eyes and ears can tell you they’ve been played, but they’re still deeply loyal to trump even though he back tracking on one of his biggest (and few) positions. Without mass deportations or hawkish immigration laws. What the hell does trump even offer to these people other than the occasional dog whistles they love?

For me it was only 2 out of at least 3, if I count "hear about" as being more than a casual mention (I wanted the title to be shorter but I actually mean looking up as in reading an article about, to find who / what / why / etc.), and if I ignore the cache of explosives found in Virginia.

For context, the three that I mean were: the driver in New Orleans, the truck explosion in Las Vegas, and the shooting in New York. (Edit: people are saying that the last one is not strictly speaking related to terrorism, at least that we know of. A better title for this post would have been "violent" rather than "terrorist" events.)

Damn, we sure live in "interesting" times! 🙄

When do you think we'll accomplish it? Certainly not in the next four years, IMO. If we're lucky, we might be able to do it within like 20 years.

Do you think it's related to Boomers at all, and newer generations might be more willing to push it through? Here's a Boomer Death Clock that says about 35% of them have passed away by now.

Is it about time, or is it still useful? If you think its time has passed, what about the nickel/dime/quarter?

Found out about this excellent tradition from this post: https://lemmy.world/post/23739600

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Transcript:

> this will be the year I finally convince everyone to abandon New Year's resolutions in favour of Yule Boasting, the clearly superior tradition

> allow me to explain. Yule boasting is an old Norse tradition of getting shitfaced at the winter solstice feast and standing up to proclaim all the great, infamous, and wildly improbable deeds you will perform in the coming year. can range from an unlikely but technically possible claim, like "I'm going to rob 300 banks", to something you'd have to bend the laws of the universe to actually accomplish, like "I'm going to punch a god in the dick and steal his horse". these are not plans. they're not even goals. they're the things you'd do in a self-insert superhero fanfic. and honestly all I want this holiday season is for a bunch of friends to go all in on this nonsense with me and hyper ourselves up in ways previously unimaginable

For me: Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy.

I had seen the movie but never read the book before. It was a lot better than I expected.

Also what is your current/next book?

I'm continuing the saga with The Restaurant At The End Of The Galaxy.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/23667424

> Conteplating a move and have always lived in the Eastern time zone

The US tends to be a lot more spread out than Europe and the rest of the world. It seems like we're also more likely to move long distances for jobs and the like.

I'm pretty close to most family, 10 to 40 minute drives for everyone that doesn't live out of state

It's about time. They can join us in rejecting metric and driving on the right side of the road. Also what's a catchy term for it? Brenter?

My friend (let's call him Liam) doesn't want to hear about people being hurt or murdered. I'm trying to figure out why being told about this boundary hurts. I see my therapist on Monday, for my regularly scheduled session. So, this is me thinking out loud and trying to process my feelings. It's 2 am here on the East Coast, please pardon my insomniac rambling.

My friend now lives outside the US, but grew up here. We were college roommates.

• Maybe I'm jealous that he is comfortable enough that he doesn't have to work, can travel, and has socialized medicine. He hasn't fought with his health insurance to pay for needed procedures.

• Maybe I'm upset that his boundary means I can't share large swatches of my life with him. I can't talk with Liam about my health insurance issues because that's too close to violence for me to feel confident I'm not overstepping. I can't talk about my dad because my dad died through my mom's actions. I can't talk about politics because American politics today seems to be about hurting people you don't like. I can't talk about my worries for the future.

• Maybe I'm upset because his boundary is so broad and vague but also clear enough that I can't ask him for clarification about it without violating it. Is social murder murder to him? I dunno!

• Maybe I'm upset because it's almost the 4-year anniversary of my dad's death and it's easier to be upset at my friend's confusing boundary than it is to confront the fact my dad's still dead. TBH, this feels pretty solid, based on the amount of tears I'm producing. Circling back, I sure would like to be able to talk with Liam about this, but nope.

I am notoriously bad at posting. No, really. Like Really, REALLY bad I mean! :-P

So I try to help the Fediverse grow by commenting. Probably WAY too much. Like not every hour, but definitely multiple times a day.

How about you - what do you feel is appropriate for your situation? Would you like to see more content, or less, or is this just the right amount?

For me, it's equivalent to a statement that "I would like to see more of something like this". That sometimes means upvoting things that I don't agree with, yet very often I'll pass over things that I do (such as "^This" - I agree, but don't want to see more of it:-). Often I'll upvote nearly every comment in a thread, to signal hopes for increased participation. To me it's a signal for health and vibrancy of a community to see such.

But other people I guess use it as an "I agree" or "like" button? If that's you, do you use it sparingly? What's the rationale there - that when it is delivered, it means more? But with Lemmy so small, why not deliver it more often to help it grow? I mean you feel free to do you, I'm just curious. Maybe you feel it could encourage "karma farming"?

I'd even like to ask lurkers what they think, although I suppose that literally by definition I cannot:-). Then again, I recently became a lurker myself by watching the embedded Loops videos at https://tesseract.dubvee.org/c/loops@midwest.social, and I really miss being able to comment or vote on videos to help guide others to which ones I feel are most/least worthwhile to watch. It feels like a finger is missing - I reach out to do my normal activity and it's gone.:-) So perhaps if someone was recently a lurker, what are your thoughts too?

If you have kids or want to, what is the plan for them?

Including if you don't celebrate. Just a normal day for you then?

If you do celebrate, was it a good time, or did something ruin it?

I arrive on time, as that's just the polite thing to do and I'm not fashionable enough for fashionably late. I also like hanging out with people before things get crowded and/or loud, though I enjoy that too.

This seems a helluva week!

We someone narrowly averted a government shutdown, so there's that.

The rise of extremist content I see on Lemmy makes me wonder how safe it is to be here - am I going to go onto some kind of list even if I participate merely by arguing against it? It's making me seriously nervous.

Oh yeah, and it's Christmas!⛄

It's a cliche, but I guess it's mostly region dependent