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Programmer Humor @lemmy.ml

tibor @pawb.social

2y ago

Keep calm, and force push

44 comments

I've had this conversation:
We need to increase our velocity! Has the customer told us yet what they would like us to build?
- Unfortunately I can't have that chat ever. I'm the one (in most of my career, not now) responsible for telling my folks what the customer wants, and not in a sales way.

You can fix it later, but that doesn't mean you're going to.
- Nothing's more permanent than a temporary solution.
- Technical debt goes brrrrrrrrr
- They can't fire you if you're the only one who can fix your shit...
  
  Oh, they can, they will just force some other poor programmer to read your code and figure it out. A profoundly miserable process, but someone is willing to do it.
- Later there will be other projects, other fires.
- I’ve seen a “temporary fix” serve as a core element of a service stack for a company with annual revenue in the hundreds of millions for like at least 5 years.

mmmm spaghetti code

"Boss, most of the bricks we have are broken in pieces. We can't build the wall per specifications."
"We have a deadline, get it done however possible by the end of the day today."

This applies to lift-and-shift migrations too. “We need to migrate this now, let’s fix it as a next phase”, then it never gets fixed; instead of taking the opportunity to fix stuff as you build on a clean slate.

You have a problem with agile methodology, you have a problem with me, and I suggest you let that one marinate.
- there’s a special place in heaven for kanban lovers that’s what i always say
  
  To be faiiiiiir, it’s is the easiests of the ways of workins.
  
  Why?
- I loved agile as an analyst, we used to use waterfall and you'd hear about incorrect designs months later, or not at all, where in agile you can work out the details with the programmers and get both nearer the business requirements, and better designs
  Also I absolutely love the job of scrum master which had no equivalent in waterfall
  
  I love waterfall as an developer, I’m using agile now and we have incomplete, conflicting designs every sprint, or spills which affect our metrics, where in waterfall you can workout all the details and have full vision of product and better design with less reworks.
  Not to mock you. My point is that methodology is not import when team consists from responsible professionals

My conversation with the moronic MBAs that lead my org today. Who cares about doing impactful work when we can just do useless busy work that makes the nontechnical morons happy.

"We're just using old, time tested frameworks. They worked fine in the past, they'll still work today for sure!"

drunk brick
https://www.stlouis.style/design/drunk-brick-hollywood-bond-clayton/

About the pic itself, laying bricks like that can't be structurally sound... am I right?
- drunk brick or Hollywood bond

That's actually a nice CSS.

No conflict is for the weak.
- 💪

just keep coding, your employer will outsource you the very moment i seems convenient

Is there some reason that wall won't work fine?
- should work fine if there is no load on it , this seems deliberate for the look
- It could also have less integrity (like my code) overall due to non uniform weight displacement. But I’m not an engineer.
  
  Paint it, a lot of paint, I mean layers upon layers of paint

Ah the well known technical debt

with lease?

The trick is to get some else to shit the 🧱 when it hits the fan.

44 comments