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wtf
wtf
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Positive Christianity
The what now?
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Nazis never change
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You don't need to tell me! I was born into a Christian cult, which made me an "apolitical" extremist-right winger, LGBTQphobe, sexist, and whatnot. And me being capable to change, made me in the completest opposite of that, or at least I aim to be. I'm no longer an LGBTQ phobic sexist asshole, of course.
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I'm completely devastated right now. Everyone should know Jesus was a Pole? Right? RIGHT?
Except maybe some heretics saying he was a Russian and was named Jesus Ipanienko (according to polish christmas carol).
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Which is super funny, that they portray it so mythical when it was allegedly during his time on Earth as a living man lmao.
I think people don't get the Ieus Rex part lol
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Iueus*, sorry. "Jewish" in Latin.
Yet the character was described as "son of man", and... Oh, sorry, I forgot the many contradictions in the Evangelions.
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Oh, no no, no, talking about the Christian mythology itself, not the alleged historicity, which I'm extremely skeptic of.
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But surely.. he was not... a Jew? And even if he was a Jew, the jewish god is also not... jewish???
Just what our continent did in the last two millenia?
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Yeah newer archeology finds strongly suggest that exodus never happened, ancient Hebrews were just one of the canaanite tribes that gained domination over their region and per usual for that time and place, placed their own tribal deity over all others. Notably the most popular local god of harvest, and natural cycle Baal (all the vilification of Baal in bible was certainly scrap of that propaganda left). Yahweh even stole Baal name, meaning only "Lord". Yahweh being god of war also fits by all accounts. Judaism was formed after ancient state of Israel fell so that's how the victorious god of war gets to hate his people, they just lost lmao. And most texts were compliled at their lowest point as independent culture, in Babylon, which also explains some peculiarities - city rabbis living in richest city in the world were depicting the past they couldn't really imagine.
About Mary and Joseph it starts to click if you would assume she was not just a poor girl but daughter of a local notable - she get pregnant (Pantera? lol maybe, he did existed, his tombstone was found) in a tender age of 13 or 14, scandal is brewing, but her family found her an older and respected guy to marry, Joseph, who would take the child for his own. Some hand polishing later the Holy Family is created (now that is sheer assumption by me without single proof but probably better than the official version).
The three guys that showed up at her doorstep to give her gifts were probably people that she fucked dated at some point in her life; or at the very least, were her simps.
XD local pedo convention, how did this turned to 3 kings.
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Unbelievable. Imagine demonizing a deity of something as harmless and peaceful as harvest and natural cycle.
Tbh he was not harmless deity. Think more of a late antique Dionysos or Mithra, he was born, fought with his enemies, die and then be resurrected as many other antique gods which were ultimately hijacked to form the myth of the resurrection of Christ (this always seemed to me like loosely fitting magic addition put there to entice the pagans to join).
There’s nothing more pathetic than a so-called deity hating their own worshippers. Couldn’t he help his worshippers out? Being a god of war and all.
Well he once did send
Engels (whoops, german version)angel to kill hundreds of thousands Assyrians, but later he seems to cool off on that. I mean it is pretty rational for war god to hate his people for constantly losing, but then why even worship him? The Lost Tribes did exactly that i bet.Also, if Mary indeed was the daughter of a local noble, wouldn’t her parents be able to just use their connections/power/money to just get her out of trouble?
They did it. They might not be some high noble but local gentry, so by that epoch standards avoiding the scandal while not killing or exiling anyone was pretty successful from the society point of view. And since Jesus was apparently also part of local gentry the scandal was avoided. Well if we go along that line i bet there was no scandal at all and Mary was just wed to Joseph quite conventionally and Jesus was concieved also pretty conventionally :)
They were kings?
Traditionally they are Magi i think, but also very often called and depicted as "kings" in catholicism at least. We just had 06.01 holiday of Epiphany, in Poland called "Święto Trzech Króli" ("Three Kings' Day") and it's... a state holiday, free from work, if you ever had doubts how much modern Poland is secular state.
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Well he once did send Engels (whoops, german version) angel to kill hundreds of thousands Assyrians
So if I read your posts right, the Hebrews coped and seethed so hard over getting their asses kicked repeatedly they made up stories about their imaginary friend genociding the ones who beat them? If so, that is a literally a cope of biblical proportions.
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Oh, in Spain we have too the Kings' Day too, which it's the 5th(or 6th?) of January, and the eve is a parade of pseugo ancient parafernalia with horses and even sometimes camels, and like Santa Claus, they bring presents to children.
But I prefer our (Catalonia) originally pagan present bringer for children, i which on Christmas Eve, children give sweets to a log with legs, face and a barretina (a traditional hat), cover it with blanquets, wait for the "log to eat the sweets", and then, congregate around the log and performing a BDSM ritual which consists in children beating the fuck out of the log while chanting "Tió, Tió, shit out nougat and presents", and then, supposedly the log shits out presents and Christmas food.
Ah, I love it.
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For your info Genesis 1 is newer than Genesis2, and 1 is made after Enuma Elish, which is the creation myth in honor of Marduk, the patron deity of the Akkadians, who kicked Hebrews's asses and sent them to Babylon.
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In catholic tradition, the wise men were converted in three warlock kings, when the Bible actually referred to Magis(Zoroastrian sacerdots)
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Oh, did you know that YHWH (Jesus daddy) is a Canaanite god of metallurgy?
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Well, Jesus was nailed to some poles, so it tracks.
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;_;
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83 comments