Flawless strategy

Only something like what...33% of families have money in the stock market?
The bottom 60ish% have literally no savings whatsoever.
Edit: I was a little overzealous when I said "Literally no savings whatsoever"; it's not literally no savings - but it's something like people with less than $500 for emergencies and stuff.
- 62% of adults have a non zero amount
  https://www.statista.com/statistics/270034/percentage-of-us-adults-to-have-money-invested-in-the-stock-market/
  
  You linked me to a site that I have to have a subscription to see the data - so I can't verify your claim.
  https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2024/03/06/a-booming-us-stock-market-doesnt-benefit-all-racial-and-ethnic-groups-equally/
  This statement by pew research says:
  Only 21% of American families own shares directly, according to the SCF. Even fewer own “pooled investment funds” – such as mutual funds and exchange-traded funds (ETFs) – or other investment vehicles that typically include stocks among their holdings.
  
  So 38% have literally zero? That's horrifying.
- Nono, many have absolutely no savings also

Ya can't fall far from the ground floor.
- Things said by people about to fall into a hole
- What about into the basement?
  
  You guys got a basement? Dang!

Genius: man has been losing weight due to not eating because food is expensive
It's me. I'm man. lol
Probably stress, too, tbh
- "Wow, you're losing weight!"
  "Thanks, it's poverty and a mental disorder"

that was me during 2008-09, it was like it didn't happen
- It's not much different wether one has investments or not. For most people their investment horizon is decades in the future. Market crash shouldn't affect them in any way. You just hold and keep buying more like you have done up to this point.
  
  The problems creep up when the market crash leads to businesses failing. Then you find yourself going from living paycheck to paycheck to not even having that lousy job.
  There's always room to fall. If there isn't, someone will dig a hole for you to go into.
  I've been lucky in my career, but I do worry about those who may not be as lucky.
- Anyone over 30 that's been able to put something away for retirement in a 401k/roth is getting fucked right now, though.

I've always found it odd when my fellow peasants furiously lock away funds for retirement.
If you don't get hit by a bus or get terminal cancer between here and there, the economy might not be there, the climate might not be survivable, on and on.
I don't understand this fetish about profoundly sacrificing today to potentially live comfortably when your body has betrayed you, your very mind and self is betraying you, and the high point of your day is thinking about the past, again if you're very lucky and get there to begin with.
As someone who set up medical equipment for the elderly for 10 years, I did not hear one single good review of allowing oneself to make it to old age. It's like watching that raccoon in that gif getting upset when the cotton candy it found dissolves in the river and it's frantically trying to pull it back out.
Your life is back that way gramps, your entire being is trying to call it, take the message. These aren't your golden years, that was advertising bullshit, these are your shit and piss and dust years regardless of nestegg. You can try to wrap that shit in gold leaf, but you should have spent that money on cruises back when your senses and your failing cognition could take in and enjoy the full experience, not some shadow of it through your pseudo-corpse reliant on 12 kinds of daily pills to stave off nature taking its course.
- tl;dr: YOLO!
  Only like 20X more depressing.
- So you favor the "live hard, die young, and leave a pretty corpse" approach to life and the future?
- I’m saving for retirement, and it’s not that I scrimp and save for it, or do I have any disillusionment about my body betraying me.
  It’s because I know if I don’t have something saved, then not only will I be in decline and unable to work, but also unable to survive.

Cool, having no money have been my Family's super-power - a hidden Mantra almost - for generations. What a bunch of progressive Geniuses I come from. NOW is our time 😏
..well, I wish the previous Elite hadn't trashed the place first, but still.

This is the first time I slightly exhaled at a Babylonbee article. Yesterday I raised my eyebrows in amusement at an official Chinese government meme. WHAT IS HAPPENING
- Every time I see someone complaining about Babylon Bee and I go take a peek at their front page, I find several funny headlines--pretty sure the criticism is way overblown, and it's just another silly parody news website.
  On their front page right now:
  Apple Warns China Tariffs Could Negatively Impact Child Slave Employment Opportunities
  Get A Load Of This White-Knighting SIMP Saving A Princess From A Dragon
  Texas Bans Sale Of Assault Rifles With Capacity Of Less Than 30 Rounds
  Republicans Vow To Get Really Serious About Cutting Spending In Like 20 Or 30 Years

I love that this was from two years ago, but still holds true today.

The market crashes, the market recovers, though all bets are off if America doesn't return to "normal" in the next few years.
Of course you're screwed if you had money in the market which you needed right now

Babylon Bee is a Christian conservative version of The Onion. Don't give them any recognition.

Average wallstreetbets enjoyer be like: