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3w ago

I'm a proud American, but if my country decides to go all-in on the crazy, I know where I stand...

NonCredibleDefense @lemmy.world

PugJesus @lemmy.world

3w ago

188 16

113 comments

I follow the proud American tradition my grandfather had of fighting fascism.
If the government of the states decides to be fascist, well...
- I've always wondered, which movie was this frame from?
  
  Pretty sure its Hot Fuzz
  
  Hot Fuzz, the middle movie of the cornetto trilogy!
- Fuck you. Don't bring my Nazi killing grandfathers into this. I'm trying to sleep well at night in my shame over here bro!
  
  Did I really need a /s for this? My family literally has a history of killing Nazis at scale. My grandfather was a bomber pilot.

Here me out on this:
Join the war on the US side
Be really bad at your job, causing tons of friendly fire accidents
Defect to Canada before they catch you
Enjoy some well earned pancakes with authentic maple syrup
If you go to Canada right away, there's no way you're getting the maple syrup rations as a foreigner.
- Only doing this if I get a moose steak with those pancakes.
  Moose aren't like a sacred animal in Canada right?
  
  You'll have to fight the Mounties for them:
  
  Moose are revered and they are to be respected!! They can stomp your face effortlessly.
  I believe Aboriginal cultures have many deep ties with the moose. I think some people hunt and eat them, but it's not really a thing on a menu where I am (urban west coast), and is moreso a maritime/Newfoundland menu thing.
  Regardless, we build many statues to them: (I have only seen one of these in person [top right, Deer Lake Newfoundland].)
  
  Image transcription: Five moose statues from around Canada. Moose are 2m or 8 6.5-7 feet tall (at the shoulder), so these are some bigass sculptures. One, which was a memorial for a man who died of cancer, is now covered in bras for breast cancer awareness/fundraising.
  Edit: converting metres to feet is hard to do in my head.
- You could definitely do more damage in the US military than fighting against them, and if you're smart, they'd never be able to prove malicious intent.
  Drive a forklift into a fighter jet, for example. Millions in damage, and they'll just think you're a moron.
  
  They wouldn't be wrong.

We burned your White House down once, we'll do it again!
- Serious hat for a moment, but the idea that Canadians burnt the White House is a misconception. It was British soldiers from units raised outside of Canada, which had been sent over for the war which did that.
  
  But, we'll do it again.
  
  British here:
  
  Thank you for the serious-hat correction!
- More than half of the US will literally be throwing flowers at your feet as you march toward the capital to burn it. Its about the only thing both parties agree on. Well, that and taking AIPAC bribes to fund a genocide,both parties are down with that too. And guns now I guess. And closing the border.

Once trump cuts off all government funding from the blue states as he keeps threatening to do, maybe they could join Canada as provinces. It should be win-win considering the blue states contribute more to the federal govt. than they receive from it; while red states receive more than they contribute. So they would make Canada stronger and Trumpistan weaker. Trump wants to expand US lands to impress his idol putin and be like him, but instead he would lose territory.
- The only meaningful argument against secession is that individual states would be weaker against invaders.
  Except it didn't work. We were invaded over the internet and lost. What are we protecting ourselves against? Being invaded by a world power that gives its people health care? Losing the democracy we just lost despite never having it to begin with?
  The USA is bad for everyone now... Even Americans.
- It’s a nice idea, but they should be independent.
  California has a larger population (and also GDP, I believe) than Canada.
  It makes no sense that Canada would want to more than double its population overnight.
  
  Create a Union. Let Europe help - we're VERY interested in a strong and democratic North American continent, and perhaps we can teach one or two things about democratic resiliency to the so-called "land of the free".
  
  It would be good to have an established federal government. Knowing america, though, we would fuck that up real quick.

Thank you for your future service.
We pay in healthcare and not giving a damn if you smoke up.
- 🍁🫡

you know how people were asking how people in Russia weren't violently fighting against Putin when he started the ukrane-russia war?

I too am proud about things I did nothing to be.

The usa thought the insurgency was bad in Afghanistan, wait until they see the combo of the largest undefended boarder, a people with a very similar look and culture (at least for language) and oh yeah a unpopular occupation of the country that has had more entries added into the Geneva conventions then any other nation.
Yeah, and about those nukes in shared sites on Canadian land, all isolated and infamously under defended......
- it's a similar situation that Ukrainians have right now, as many eastern Ukrainians speak russian natively, and with similar accent to Russians from south (Krasnodar, Kursk etc), so they blend right in, but this doesn't work in opposite direction. i'm not sure if they're taking advantage of it in behind enemy lines activities, as some of sabotage is ascribed to local resistance organizations
  
  100% they are. Think of how the USA would deal with even a fraction the damage and casualties Ukraine has inflicted so far.

well on one side Canada has Wali and can resurrect Leo Major with their secret maple syrup potion, on the other side they would loose access to their F-35 fleet. So I don't know if Canada has a chance or not.
If Canada find a way to clone Leo Major and send one Leo Major on each American city, it's an easy win for Canada. Can Mapple Syrup clone people?
- Do not underestimate the power of maple syrup.
- Don’t you dare call my dear F35 loose, she’s as tight as ever!
  
  She'd be tighter with some Mapple Syrup in the oil system.
- Time for Canada to but more military equipment from the EU members. Canada has a maple syrup mafia with strategic stockpiles.
- There's no bigger hero than Private Major.

🍁🫡

The white house will be burned to black.
- DEI strikes again
  
  Diversity in that it will be Canadians proper rather than Brits along with any and all who wish to participate.
  Equality in that the US should receive what it has given and what it threatens.
  Inclusion in that everyone is welcome to the bonfire. To paraphrase some fuckwad, 'be there, it'll be wild'.

We Stand on Guard

Y'all's about to see a Canadian's real war face... On their homeland.

Cope for when you're auto-balanced.

Oh definitely. Give me a side to fight on. I haven't forgotten you Canada an all the wars we fought side by side together.

You wouldn’t think that if you knew the truth about Canada…
https://youtu.be/o6hrLFJq63E?si=CUM78311hufxl-QK
Open your eyes, don’t trust the propaganda the deep state and corporate media have been feeding you.
Edit: I’ve got some inside videos from Mar-a-lago…
https://youtu.be/eZXgYKx0aQI?si=lX1RyCvPxSFUMkvH

Whoa there your choices are snow, jungle, desert, or Arctic ice if you join the US side. Come on how many wars do you get to choose which server environment to play on? And if we do really good we can get the DLC level European Island Country! They say that one will feature the Navy more prominently.
- I already did desert. I think I wanna try jungle this time?
  
  I was thinking snow is a nice change of pace. As a bonus there's a lot of ice rinks!
  
  Too late that was 1955-1975.

You support moose knuckles?

To be sure ...

OP's full name:
Lockmart Heedin

Let's not joke hear CA doesn't stand a chance. They've no nukes. They lack economic power. And they don't have a cultural identity beyond "hey we aren't America". The last thing Canada wants is to fight a global super power.
- Sure, maybe they’d win the invasion easily, but can they win an occupation of a hostile populace for an indeterminate duration? The 21st Century repeatedly suggests the answer to that is “no, eh”.
  
  ...last i heard, canadian snipers outperform the finns...
  
  occupation of people who are virtually indistinguishable at a glance. Just ask the Russians how that worked out in Eastern Ukraine, the only way they could ever secure the place was by killing pretty much everyone.
- The last thing the US wants is to be a pariah to the UK, Australia, NZ and South Africa. Them old commonwealth loyalties run deep. Not to mention France would take extreme exception to Quebec.
  Even if we didnt intervene militarily we all love Canada, It would be economic suicide.
  
  South Africa is already against America, they're in bed with China and Russia, they're the S of "BRICS"
- "Hey we aren't X" has earned the presidency of the United States every 4 years for at least as long as I've been alive. Never doubt the power of "hey we aren't X".
  In fact, that should be Metas new slogan.
  
  Bluesky: Hey we aren't X
- Germany, Austria and Switzerland speak German, and are still different countries. US, UK, Canada, NZ and Australia speak English, and are different countries France and Belgium speak French, are different countries. The entire Arabic speaking world is spread across like 20 countries. Russia and Ukraine both speak Russian*, and one tried to merge with the other, violently, and are now bitter enemies probably forever..
  Is "Fuck off and leave people alone" an option in peoples brains?
- They've no nukes.
  You're gonna nuke an upwind state that you'd like to conquer? It'd be a drone fight like Ukraine.
  They lack economic power.
  California’s economy ranks fifth internationally, behind the US, China, Germany, and Japan. On a per capita basis, California’s GDP is greater than that of all of these countries.
  they don't have a cultural identity
  Dude, that's bogus. This is literally the same bullshit Putin says about Ukraine.
  
  They aren't talking about California
- I here you but what if they challenge us to a hockey game? I don't think we're prepared for how ugly this can get.
  
  And it's hockey season, you ever try to get between a Canadian and a good hockey game? They'll win so fast they don't have time to get sober!
  
  Canada sucked major ass at the world juniors this year. USA has won back to back.
- Congress needs to ask the pentagon why they maintain a wide threatening lead I'm Zamboni technology!
  https://youtu.be/pbfBzWJVbX4?dYhKdgVX8q3CB9UJ
  
  Just think of all those US soldiers slipping and sliding across the zamboni fields while the graceful Canadians glide on their skis. No attacker stands a chance.
- Sir I assure you this community tolerates only the most serious conversations.
- more like global super senile and retarded amirite

113 comments