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8mo ago

Jenkins.

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Kids these days aren't even extratemporal enough to remember Jenkins smh
- Wait, I think I'm experiencing the Mandello effect...
  
  It’s called the Mandeller effect. You’re trying to stir shit up, aren’t you?
  
  It's the Mengele Effect.

I prefer this version:
- How would murdering a modern Scottish rock band stop the world wars?
- I prefer this version: Wikihistory

First they came for the Jenkins. And I did not speak out. Because I was not a Jenkins...

I wished I could go back in time and kill DevOps, before it became a thing.
- Now you have DevOps but everyone just calls it Ops.

I'm sorry. Who's Jenkins?
- Its this man He lives in this thing called "The Cloud"
  
  The man is a monster. I don't know how many of my build jobs have been murdered by this fiend.
  
  Oh yeah. Fuck that guy.
  
  So in the OP’s original timeline there is a flexible CI pipeline tool named Adolph. Huh…
  
  They should kill his father Hudson instead. That guy was a dick.
  
  No, he lives on a host in your data center.
  He tried to get to the cloud but githubs actions threw him down to the ground.
- You''ll never know and you should be thankfukl for it.
- I don't know either, but for some reason his name sends a shiver down my spine.
- Jenkins can only refer to the legend Leeroy Jenkins https://youtu.be/mLyOj_QD4a4
  
  I was gonna say. Jenkins needs zero help. Just let him do his (final) thing.
  
  At least he has a chicken
- Mmmh leeeroooooy jeeeeenkins

I thought this was going to be a dev ops joke at first then it never came

Well, was Jenkins worse than Hitler?
- My inclination is that Hitler was the least bad way out of that situation. Give Germany another decade and some other nationalist party would come to power, only this time they've got a decade of research behind them and maybe they get the bomb first. Or maybe the leader isn't a drug-addled former artist who gets his entire staff hooked on uppers and they're actually effective at defeating their enemies.
  So the reason we always seem to have Hitler is because the time cops keep people from killing him because the other timelines are even worse.
  
  Would explain the failed assassination attempts
  
  Then what are the time cops doing about Trump?
  
  only this time they’ve got a decade of research behind them and maybe they get the bomb first
  Maybe that's why we're living in the universe where this didn't happen, because in the universe where it did, we wouldn't exist (many worlds/anthropic principle interpretation)
  
  There are no "time cops" because even existing in the past changes things. It's impossible to change the past and return to "the present" that you know. It would be a completely different timeline even if you just observe.

We rolled back your change to fix Jenkins, please remember to run preflight checks before submitting.
- The build passed on my machine. ... Oh wait, my COVID bug fix didn't make it into main. Uh oh.

At least he has chicken.

This is a shittier version of this skit
https://youtu.be/2o7e1i7nJuQ?si=iCRex5rxPkP2pFFs
- fuck that’s good. here’s a tangentially related one with surprisingly high production quality https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VQ2iVZMQ1U
  
  I've also come to share a tangentially related video:
  https://youtu.be/9S75Rfva9O8?si=on2NdTUO3Fr1ErVw
- I can't verify that because that skit has a much larger file size and I ain't streaming that. I have other things to download.

JENKINS WAS MY PA!!!

The hardest choices require the strongest wills. They do not remember you, nor what you've sacrificed... but I will honor you, slayer of Jenkins, hero to humanity o7

Harold Jenkins from umbrella academy?

If we killed hitler we would have more competent nazi and possibly still third reich over here but no Poland and I am selfish I wanna exist ya know
Best person would be trump as it is recent enough to not suddenly cease to exist due to various butterfly effects, still pretty risky though. All of people that died by accidents between trump election and today would be from different, new set. You can calculate probability even based on average yearly accidents.
God I shudder to think what if u killed Julius Caesar. We would be like unrecognisable due to all branching out possibilities over the years. Real quantum parallel worlds shit
- what if u killed Julius Caesar
  Wonder what the month of July would be called?
  
  September
  
  And August.
  
  All months will be named after Pompey.
  
  Well if Brutus took over, Brutey?
  
  Myly
- The good news is that if someone went back and changed the past, then events would transpire such that they never had to go back in time for that reason, and so they wouldn't., i.e. nothing would change. Not unless the whole exercise spins only the time traveler off into their own new universe in which they're the only one with a memory of this alternative timeline from which they came.
- Might be able to avoid The Nazis and The Bolsheviks gaining power altogether by going to 1970, buying a year's worth of McDonald's food, and delivering it to Taft in 1911. He's so damn fat he got stuck in the tub in The White House. He'll happily eat that shit and hopefully die before the 1912 election, allowing Teddy to have his third and fourth term. In a head to head race between Roosevelt and Wilson, Wilson doesn't have a prayer of winning.
  https://youtu.be/hLiI6kXZkZI?si=6xtXMaIJ_PQSf186
- what if u killed Julius Caesar
  Then the NCR would take over. Can't you see that they're just as bad?? Nevermind the slaves.
- That and Trump might not even make to the election anyway.

The only 2 Jenkinses I know are Leeroy Jenkins, and Jenkins from How I Met Your Mother.

First the tiktok witches erase one of our moons, now some asshole took away Jenkins before his prime. What’s next?

Isn't Jenkins the robot servant in the masterpiece City by Simak? Great book!

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