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  • Cashier: I'm going to have to cancel orders for so many damn items

    Stocker: I'm going to have to reshelf so many damn items

    Also stocker: I'm going to have to throw away so many damn items

    Store management: I'm going to turn over so many damn employees

    Rich Consumers: I'm going to have so much higher risk of food borne illnesses

    Poor Consumers: I'm going to only be able to eat price stable staples (or just starve)

    Store owner: I'm going to make slightly higher profits, so everyone's a winner!

    • Also stocker: I'm going to have to throw away so many damn items

      I noticed that the "50% OFF ENJOY TONIGHT" sections of my local stores now overflow with unsold bread every Thursday.

  • If it's hot outside, we can raise the price of water and ice cream

    Nice grocery store you got there, be a real shame if it caught fire because it's, uh, "hot outside"

    • No I won't call the fire department, but I will allow you to rent the use of my phone for thirty thousand dollars

      • If that's too much, it'll be forty thousand in one minute. Surge pricing is a bitch, huh

        edit: I know I said forty thousand when I handed you the phone but by the time you made the call the price had surged again to a hundred thousand. Don't get mad at me, the algorithm did it.

  • You know what the hilariously fragile Rube Goldberg machinations of global capitalism needs to be more efficient?

    Spot pricing on groceries!

  • : “Sorry, [X] costs more now? Why is it expensive? Because I CAN charge that much!

    : “Damn you, socialists! Your bad vibes made poor porky want more money!”

  • How the fuck am I NOT to commit an adventurismo with shit like this man. Just look at any fucking CEO that first comes across me and go :grabber-left::what-the-hell::grabber-right:

53 comments