I'm 42 and have known since I was 4 years old that I never wanted to be a mother. It's seriously one of my earliest memories - I didn't want to make my bed, my mother was exasperated with me and said "you'll be sad you treated me so badly when you have kids of your own"... and I remember being just appalled at the thought of being a parent.
I just don't enjoy children. I like peace, quiet, and order, and the freedom to do what I want without having to factor in children. Plus it looks super stressful to be a parent. I have 2 nephews and a niece, and while they're good kids, their parents always look so utterly exhausted and overwhelmed. And I'm definitely not good at being an aunt - interacting with children just doesn't come naturally to me.
Everyone told me I'd grow out of it. I had to fight to get my tubes tied in my mid-twenties (for real, I had to see so many doctors and had a botched Essure procedure at Planned Parenthood before I finally found an OBGYN who would take me seriously!).
No
regretsrugrats!It's not such a binary thing. For example, you can obtain some, hodl for a bit, and later return them for a profit. It's basically like the stock market, except people refer to the money you get as a "ransom" rather than a "profit" for some reason. What many people outside the industry don't know is that it doesn't officially become a crime until police get involved. So just insist on "No police!" in your sales calls. /s
I never want kids. I don't know how they're going to take the news.
Kids for me. They have improved my life more than anything else. Having the first two pushed me to go back to school and get a real job. I got more when my ex & I split and I married a guy with kids; we have a staggering number between us, most were teens or older when we got together and they are all close now, so they have a network of family to help and socialize with. The youngest is almost done with high school so we are in the final stretch of having them at home. The Thanksgiving feast here is insane, so many people, chaotic and fun.
Now - having said all that, I always knew I wanted kids, not necessarily to birth them but to raise them. Babies are adorable , little kids blistering cute, teenagers so much fun and occasionally helpful, and then they grow up and are actual people. It is work I find fulfilling and it helps the world to have educated, sensible, open-minded people. Most of my kids don't want kids themselves and that's fine! Everyone has their own life to live.
So for me, kids. For you, whatever you want, I don't think it's essential to become an adult and don't think it's the only way to get a family either.
I'm in my mid 40s now but I knew even when I was a kid that I never wanted kids. I see my friends and family now struggling with their own children and I just cannot imagine that life for me. I have no regrets not having kids, but if I ever did, I know it's better to regret NOT having them than to regret having them.
I'm in my 40s now and never liked children, even when I was one myself. So to me the decision not to procreate came very natural and has never changed. I was so certain that I never wanted any kids that I got myself sterilized when I was 25 or 26, don't remember exactly. Just to be certain I couldn't be trapped by some oopsie. Didn't regret that step for a second.
Even if it were possible, I still would not prefer to have any kids.
First off, I haven't even been a "proper adult", and probably would never be. How can I be expected to raise a child with the care and love they deserve when I don't even have my life sorted out? Even if you argue that I'd have to change once having a child, I've also seen people fail to change even after having children they swore they loved even more than their own life.
Secondly, we've already got enough people that are unwanted and abandoned. Why not take better care of people we already have now?
Lastly, parenting is a huge commitment. It's not just about you and your "legacy", but another life that will suffer for your mistakes. For those who are up to the task and willingly take on the responsibility, thank you and best of luck!
I don’t have kids of my own, but through my time with my step-kids, I’ve learned I would’ve loved to have one or two. I totally understand people who don’t want kids. They can be a huge, expensive hassle. But I feel like I’ve gotten so much more back from them than it ever cost me. Plus they gave me this cup that I drink from every morning.
No thank you, no kids.
I like my freedom and that it is quiet.
No. I hate to live, my country and this entire world. Plus, there’s no future for humanity. I don’t want my children to feel this way.
I was well into my 40's when my kid was born, so I've had it both ways. I vastly prefer the kid. Yes it sucks to not being able to do some stuff on occasion. It even sucks more that my parents are gone so I have a real hard time finding babysitters. But I just love the little one so damn much!
I've known since I was young that I don't want any. This was only reinforced after I adopted a kitten last year, regretted it to the point of depression after about 2 months, and adopted him off to someone else who I trust. I realised I absolutely don't ever want that kind of responsibility again so a human life would be infinitely worse of an idea. this is on top of terrible genetic health issues that I wouldn't want to force onto another existence.
I always wanted children. Damn near every major life choice has been fueled by that. Took a job I knew I wouldn't be happy at, but could be successful at to provide a better life. Yhe cars I've bought the safety rating for kids was to priority followed by reliability. The house I bought is within walking distance of every grade school, and the basement could easily be setup for a hangout spot for the teen years, oh and a good sized backyard for playing. One of the reasons I stayed at this job is I'm at max PTO and they actually offer paternity leave! I always make mental notes of fun places for kids so I could take them. When they were younger, and I was still considered cool, my niece and nephew wanted to move in with me 😆.
Just never met the right lady.
No, absolutely not. At least, certainly none of my own, even if I were capable of it... I don't really see the point in procreating with the world on such a catastrophic trajectory. On the other hand, if I find myself in a situation where I have a home and resources to share, and some unfortunate already-existing kids need those things, I'd certainly offer them a place. That would be just as true for non-kids though, so I dunno how much of a "parent" that'd really make me.
No kids. I love having money and the freedom to do whatever I want whenever I want.
No kids.
I don't want any more stress, and I don't like kids anyway. Plus the idea of bringing someone else in this world... I want to die, why would I cause living to someone else?
And even if my views do change in the future, I'd rather go for adoption. Not only would I not create more life, but I could perhaps give someone a better chance.
I don't really understand the appeal of your kids being blood-related anyway. What's the point?Permanently Deleted
I've never really felt the urge to have kids. Plus it saves on resources and finances. I have nephews and nieces already and that's good enough for me. I'm at the point where some of my friends are having kids. Others aren't. I love being an uncle.
In any case, it depends on how much you as an individual want to have kids. For me, it just didn't add up. My wife and I both don't want them. We both work and want to retire as early as possible.
Have seen both sides of the fence on this.
Met my first wife when I was in my 20s, she was a bit older, already divorced with kids. We were together for over 10 years, and one of her sons lived with us off and on during his teenage years. We enjoyed all the benefits of a childless existence - disposable income, freedom to do whatever we wanted evenings/weekends, etc, etc.
Eventually our marriage broke down. The reasons for it are entirely unrelated to us not having kids, but we were definitely not destined to be together for the rest of our lives.
About a year or so later I met an incredible woman, and I truly learned what it meant to have a soulmate. We were awesome together. She already had two young kids - 6yo and 9yo - and, a year or so later again, we had our own baby girl. We married a couple of years after that.
We now have a family that includes an amazing 21yo woman, a fabulous 18yo fella, and a beautiful 10yo daughter. My life is complete and I can't imagine it without any of them in it.
When you know, you know.
I'm a parent, and we made the conscious decision to become parents. That said, I can fully understand people who don't want to have that responsibility. It can be exhausting and thankless, changing almost everything with your life, hobbies and habits.
On the other side of the coin, the depth of love you feel as a parent is impossible to describe. With that comes a set of incredible feelings, watching your children experience, learn and grow.
Basically, parenthood is almost completely thankless, but I wouldn't give it up for the world.
I've known from a pretty early age that I never want kids. Don't get me wrong, I actually love kids. At social events I'll often be the one entertaining them, and I can't wait for my friends to start having kids so I can be the cool & fun babysitter.
However, kids are dreadful roommates, I'd be a horrible parent, I don't want to bring a living being into this cruel world (especially with climate change), I'm too poor for children, and, being non-binary, parenthood just seems so tied down to gender norms I don't adhere to.
No kids, ever. I can hardly take care of myself, can't even be trusted with a plant, and I find them disgusting. Who will care for me when I am old? I have worked long and hard with the elderly, and knowing how many of them were abandoned by their families, it is easy to see that my odds are better investing the money I would use to raise a child, in a retirement fund instead.
But with how broke I am, I am not even getting to do the retirement fund thing, so yay. Glad I didn't let an ex change my mind when I was earning a lot back in the day, because those jobs got "optimized" and outsourced.
This is a complicated question. I hate kids. Multiple. They are loud, dumb. But when there's only one kid, I actually really like interacting with them! It's so much fun to forget who I am for a moment and play games with a kid! I love teaching new things to them and seeing them try them out.
I will only "have" a kid when the conditions are ideal. That being, finacially stable and away from my family. I do not want them to corrupt the kid's mind with their religion bullshit. A partner for me is not neccesary. I also plan on adopting a kid rather than making one. Infant or a kid? I'm uncertain.
There would have to be some dramatic changes in the world socially and politically before I'll feel even remotely comfortable having kids. Also my finances would need to change.
And my family also has some genetic issues I'd rather not pass on.
Adoption is an option, but I'm pretty sure I don't even want one in the first place. When I was younger I thought having kids seemed like a sucker's game. My opinion has softened on that a bit, but it's still difficult to imagine actually wanting children.
No kids, I like peace and quiet and I would be a terrible father.
I don't have time for this, also every persons i know see their health being ruined giving birth. So thanks but no, My health is more important.
Having no kids. I currently have no children and do not plan to. I am satisfied with my life. My only real concerns are about who would support me when I age. Not monetarily but just in case my mind starts to slip and I need someone to help me get the help I need. I don't feel comfortable having a child or adopting with that being the sole reason.
Kids for me. On my third one. It is hard at times and you sacrifice a lot of your time, and energy (money is less of an issue up to the second one I'd say, the real costs starts at three where you need to upgrade cars and shit) in order to be a good parent. But watching them grow up and be brilliant boys, is very rewarding. I am happy that I am providing them a good life so far, they are smart and devour knowledge, and they take on my interests kinda naturally so it's fun teaching them things I enjoy.
In a few years we will be nerding out on Dota or PoE or whatever, anime, maybe I will DM an rpg for them and their cousins that live nearby. Start them up with python or so. Teach them Japanese, maybe have them start tennis or so. Or maybe they will nerd out with something on their own. Well see..
Tomorrow I'll grab the boys and go to the countryside for hiking up the mountains, playing in the forest, eating awesome food in taverns and so on. Will be tiring, but will be fun.
So yeah. Kids are fun and they give me a purpose to strive for. Peace and quiet while being alone was definitely something, but after experiencing both, for me it is purposeless, unfulfilling, and gets pretty boring pretty quick.
I have one kid and it's one of the best things so far life has dished out for me. I love him so much and he's so much fun. I know one kid is my limit though. Enjoy!
I made the choice to not have kids. I didn't want the responsibility and I didn't think I'd make a good parent. I'm in my late 40s now, and honestly - it's been pretty great. It was the right choice.
Late 40s. I wanted kids, or at least I think I wanted kids. Might have just been society telling me I wanted kids.
Regardless, kids never happened and I’m glad. My partner and I both agree this world is messed up. And honestly, I probably shouldn’t pass my messed up genes to a new generation.
I don't have social life. I want kids. It's a fucking contradiction.
Kids! I thought when I was a kid I wanted them no matter what. In my early twenties I decided I only wanted kids if I could find the right partner. Now I have one. Sometimes my partner is great, sometimes he sucks. I don't care, because my kid is great. She's a joy to be around and gives my life purpose in a way I didn't realize was possible. My whole purpose is just to enjoy reading her a story in that moment. My whole purpose is to feed her when she's hungry. My whole purpose is to look into her eyes. My whole purpose is just to enjoy the moment I'm in, and she accidentally causes me to be fully present so often. It's amazing.
That said, I would say if you're not 80% sure you want kids, don't. Figure out what would get you to 80% first. Financial stability, a good partner, a solid career field, etc.
No kids. They’re a huge, life long commitment that you need to be willing to sacrifice everything for. Your happiness, your sanity, your time, your money… everything.
And I’m not the type of person who wants kids nearly enough to do that.
Especially when people tell me that I should for reasons like having a caretaker when I’m older. I’m not attached to my parents enough to do that. Why would I expect that of anything I pop out? And what a horrible selfish reason to make a new human that is!
If the only reason I’d be having a kid is selfish reasons in the distant future that aren’t even a guarantee, then that’s not worth sacrificing myself for right now.
Nothing against other people who want to be parents, so long as they’re prepared and not doing it as some sort of life insurance or to make a clone of themselves.
Absolutely no kids ever even if I wasn’t gay or had ability to adopt. I don’t remember my childhood positively at all, I think my parents should’ve never decided to have kids, and despite me trying hard to not be like them, I found myself making similar mistakes. I don’t understand people being so obsessed about having kids and saying stuff like “wait until you got ur own”, I’m like bitch it’s not happening ever unless it’s a nightmare I wake up all wet after with relief that it’s not real
My wife had my first when I was 39. I wish I had had kids sooner. I love going to minor hockey games and taking to my daughter about her crafts and school.
I would probably be a mom by now if I could be, not because I want to be but due to regular happenstance, but with everything I face and everything having kids could add to that, I don't trust myself as one, with both bad genetics and a fear of imbuing a bad childhood at play.
Expensive and bad for the planet.
I can't fathom why anyone would want to have kids. Not for me.
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having children sounds disgusting. every year that I'm still alive and I see more of my friends on Facebook posting their fat naked baby slobber garbage I am even more happy than before. fuck your cookie slobber food garbage bowling ball head fat screaming toothless idiot crap. do not ever come to my house. im blocking them all
Kids. The whole world is new and interesting to them and that is infectious.
Me and my wife has kinda agreed to not have kids. But as life goes on you kind do want it. You don't want to be in your 50s and wish you had kids to spend time with.
So soon we are having our second. And yes, life is very different but honestly I wouldn't want it any other way.
I have kids, it is great knowing that I’ve successfully continued my bloodline like my ancestors before me.
While those that have not procreated will die as failures in the eyes of nature. Their bloodlines will end in 100 years it will be like they were never there to begin with.
Kids are also pretty awesome to have.
You're asking a bunch of lonely post redditers, all your gonna get is child free posting to cope with them not having a relationship
I'm not sure you're going to get an objective answer to this as no one has lived a life of either having kids or not having kids, hungrythirstyhorny.
I will say that, as a single male in his mid forties who has observed a good amount of life; first, the thought of not having people to rely on in you're old age is a little worrisome; and two, not having had someone to pass my knowledge and skills down to is a little sad. However, I really enjoy the freedom and opportunities my life (and bank account) affords me.
There is always a cost to freedom. Or, as Jonis Joplin put it - freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose. Choosing to not have children is a selfish act. Whether "selfish" is a bad thing or not is subjective.
I would offer that anyone who's going through life without children, find some altruistic outlet to participate in. You can otherwise find yourself wondering what your legacy may be or what the point of your life has been - aka a mid-life crisis.
