What's something weird and mostly useless that you can do with your body?

I can wiggle my ears. I used to use it to entertain children, but today's children are jaded and cynical.
- I found I can wiggle my ears enough to walk my glasses back up my nose when they've slipped down.
  
  now that's useful!
  
  I’ve just tried that and you’ve changed my life
  
  Oh yeah, I didn't even realise until you said it but I absolutely do that all the time
- Child me would've loved to see that.
  
  Adult me would love to see that
- I can do it too! it was like discovering a new muscle! I can't do either independently though

I can rumble my eardrums. Mostly useless unless i wanna block out some annoying sound but i can only do it for like a minute at a time.
- I think I have the same thing. Is yours also kinda connected to blinking? I can do it without blinking, but closing my eyes at the same moment as rumbling the eardrums feels easier and more natural than rumbling with eyes open.
  
  Mine feels more connected to my jaw, I kind of tense my jaw right near the joint to activate the rumbling.
  
  I can do it without closing my eyes but when i was younger, I remember closing my eyes or scrunching my face made it easier to do. If you can wiggle your ears without lifting your eyebrows, it kind of feels like its the same muscle group that causes the rumbles. The rumbling sounds like white noise inside my head. Its caused by constricting Tensor Tympani muscle in the ear voluntarily. From Wikipedia:
  Some individuals can voluntarily produce this rumbling sound by contracting the muscle. According to the National Institute of Health, "voluntary control of the tensor tympani muscle is an extremely rare event",[5] where "rare" seems to refer more to the scarcity of test subjects and/or studies more than the percentage of the general population who have voluntary control. The rumbling sound can also be heard when the neck or jaw muscles are highly tensed as when yawning deeply. This phenomenon has been known since (at least) 1884.[6]
  
  I do this thing where I pop my ears (like when pressure changes from altitude) and then it's like I'm hearing my breathing inside of my sinuses or something. When I breathe this way, it effectively blocks conversations I don't want to overhear. Do other people do this, or am I odd?
  
  Not OP, but mine's not connected to blinking.
  
  Same. I hold my eyes shut and I can activate it. I like to think of it as my automatic ear-cleaning mode.
  
  I can also ear rumble, it is not tied to my blinking at all, but if I vibrate my eyes while my ears are rumbling they both move at the same 60hz frequency.
  
  Mine is connected to blinking, but it doesn't always work.
  
  Mine is activated by blinking hard.
- Yep. I can rumble, and I can click.
- Gee, I can do this too! I've tried explaining it to others before but only one person ever got it

This is my time to shine, my body is full of useless, I can:
gleek intentionally (saving people a search: it’s causing the salivary glands under your tongue to shoot saliva, people often do it unintentionally when yawning)
open my jaw wide enough that it goes out of socket, and twofer I can then move it side to side and produce a loud popping noise
bend my thumb down to my wrist
cause my heart rate to spike for short periods even when at rest
make a three leaf clover with my tongue
click my tongue extremely loudly
- I remember when I was a kid we were all trying to gleek and some of us could do it easily. I never could, so anytime as an adult I accidentally do it, I can’t help but laugh.
- A friend taught me how to gleek in 7th grade. I never stopped doing it lmao
- click my tongue extremely loudly
  Learn Xhosa.
- Tongue clicks are absurdly useful. In my family we use then to communicate over long distances and to find each other in big crowds
- By shoot, does it have force or do you mean it just comes out?
  
  It has “force”, but it’s not very impressive, I can shoot saliva in approximately a 1ft / 30cm arch.
- oh my god, so that's what I'm doing when I yawn! It started happening a few years ago...
- I can also gleek but it's nowhere near what my grade 11 English teacher could do. I don't know how it came up in class, but, in front of the class, she turned sideways and made the biggest arc I'd ever seen: maybe 6 feet long

- that sounds so satisfying

I can hum and whistle at the same time. Makes me sound kinda like a Theremin
- Same! I liken it to a knock off version of Mongolian Throat singing.
- Ah yes, multiphonics.
- I love doing this because it sounds like you're charging a laser weapon
- Lol I just tried that to see how it works.
  It's hard because if you close your lips too much to whistle it restricts the airflow and kills the hum.
  
  Hmm I can hum independent of my lips 🤔

You know that feeling you get when you listen to really awesome music and your hair stands on end and your skin has like an electric tingle all the way up and down? I can do that feeling at will. It's called 'voluntary frisson', normally an autonomic response. Makes music a real.trip.
- I can do this too.
  It's fun to watch people freak out when one can raise his body hair up on command. And since I have an abundance of body hair, the effect is pretty profound.
- I think that's the weirdest one I've seen yet
- That's actually pretty cool, I haven't felt that in a pretty long time so I'm pretty jealous of you there

- Congratulations you have voluntary control of your tensor tympani muscle.
  
  Should be a filter on tinder
- huh. I didn't know others couldn't do this
- Is that like the sound you get when you yawn? I can do that too!

I can make my left elbow sound like biting down on dry cornflakes, just by doing a push-up.
- That doesn't sound healthy
  
  They really aren’t, despite what Kelloggs claims.
  
  I had a complex fracture in the elbow twice, 34 and 30 years ago. There's no pain, no loss of function, and it didn't get worse in all that time.
  Nothing I can really do but hope it will stay like that for the next 30.
  
  truly

I just remembered this, I can open my eyelids and look in a direction where only the whites of my eyes are visible. Apparently it's very creepy
- Oh hey, I can do that too!
- Do you roll your eyes up or down?
  
  I think upwards, kinda hard to tell though

I can twitch my eyeballs left and right really fast, and not just a little bit - but most of the way.
Completely grosses people out when I do it.
Edit: I can even do circles, but not as fast as left and right.
- This is called Voluntary Nystagmus.
  
  Neat! Thanks for the name/info.
  I’m the only person I’ve ever met who can do this. It’s apparently somewhat more common than I thought.
  I’m an old man, but I still do it specifically to my sister because she cannot stand it. /sibling rivalry lives on
- I think we have the same talent. Does it look like your eyes are vibrating?
  
  I don’t know because I can’t see a thing when I do it ;)
  Edit: I suppose I should make a video of myself - just never have. Sounds like I’ve got plans for the evening :)
- Ey wobbly eye gang here
- There used to be a subreddit for us. It was called /r/eyeshakers.
  By the way, the scientific name for the eye shake thing, IIRC, is nystagmus.
- I can do this but only a couple mm

I can voluntarily open my eustachian tubes and hold them open, without needing to yawn or swallow. Makes it much easier to clear the pressure in my ears when changing elevation (like when flying in a plane).
- Huh I think I can do the same. I always thought it was one of those things that everyone could do.
- Feels like a super power when you’re scuba diving and you see all the other divers holding their noses!
- Same. Sometimes I can't, such as when congested, and it's super annoying and unbalanced.
  
  yep, I have the same issue when congested.
- Weirdly, I can only do this with my right ear. Definitely helps on airplanes.

Apparently there's a thing called lucid dreaming that many people try very hard to achieve.
Most of my dreams are "lucid".
I can also, using only my facial muscles, pull my eyelids back extra far so it looks like my eyeballs are popping out.
- cries in has chronically useless dreams that can't even go in a dream journal
- I have a hypothesis that there is no such thing as lucid dreaming (before you get the wrong idea, I've done it before. My meaning is that it's misunderstood, not that people are lying about having done it).
  That feeling that you're in control? You're just dreaming that you're in control. You're just dreaming that you have the experience of choice-movement-feedback.
  How is the feeling of being in control any more real than other sensations you experience in a dream?
  When you experience the sensation of enlightenment in a dream, do you say you were really enlightened, or were you just dreaming that you were enlightened?
  When you experience the sensation of blue in a dream, do you say there was actually blue, or were you just dreaming there was blue?
  Your brain telling you you're in control is just as suspect as your brain telling you there's blue. They are both creations of your brain for the purpose of the dream.
  Whatever action you're taking in an attempt to demonstrate control is just as easily explained as something your brain created as dream decoration.
  Remember, this is just a hypothesis.
  
  The question is, is there a practical difference between lucid dreaming and dreaming about being lucid? I like to think it's the memory afterwards that counts.

Lots of things that ultimately come down to hyper-mobility (thanks Ehlers-Danlos!), including:
Lick my elbow
Pull my shoulder visibly out of socket (not painful at all, and happens if I carry something heavy if I’m not careful)
Pop my hip out of socket while standing (sometimes painful, always somewhat unpleasant, so I’ve had to learn how to not do it)
Hold my hands behind my back and pull them to my front
Rotate my arm >360°
Bend my thumb to my forearm

I can dislocate my shoulder to the music of Billy Joel. The Pawnee Journal once called it, "Why would anyone do this?”
- Why especially the music of Joel?
  
  It’s a quote from Parks and Recreation.

I can flex some muscle in my head that causes a roaring sound in my ears. Not sure what that's for.
- Is it the same muscle that lets you wiggle your ears? Because I can do that, and I get a similar roaring.
  
  My ears don't seem to move when I do that.
- Same here. Someone else in the thread said that's your tensor tympani muscle.
- I get mine to make a clicking sound. Audible to someone else if they stick their ear next to mine.

There is a tiny hole in the roof of my mouth that i can suck air through.

I can hammer nails and icepicks into my head. I'm very fire resistant and eat fire. I have a split tongue. I can keep my eyes open for a VERY long time.
TBF I'm a sideshow and fire performer so I'm cheating
- Are you a demon and who summoned you
  
  Yes

I can whistle from my throat, I figured out how to do it from yawning and just kept practicing, the wife hates it because it hurts her ears but every time I yawn I have a habit of trying
- Does it sound different than a normal lip whistle?
  
  Yeah more airy or something I can't really do it on command that well
  Found a video that shows it, didn't know it was a beat boxing thing now I have a goal haha https://youtu.be/_uQDmZmvvSY?feature=shared&t=120
- I have this! For ages I've been trying to figure out how to do it on command but so far I can only do it while yawning.

- Psssshhhhhh, look at this guy, existing! Not like the rest of us simulated humans! Buy ovaltine! Just sitting around in society. Pretending to exist, so we can slip subtle advertising into daily conversations. Buy ovaltime! Bet you didn't realize that we're all in the matrix, and your entire purpose for existance is to be made to be miserable. Currency is worthless outside the matrix. We're only doing this to make all in the matrix suffer!!!
  Mwahahahaha!!!! Thats my evil laugh! Do you like it?

I can roll my R's like a Spaniard and move my boobs on their own but that's it.
- Video of both at the same time?
  
  How does one do that on here?

I can whistle in three different ways. The classic pursed lip whistle, a whistle using just the tip of my tongue and the roof of my mouth, not using my lips at all, and then another using the tops of my bottom teeth. I can make decent bird sounds using my bottom teeth, but I can do pretty much any tune I can think of with the pursed lip method. It has been relevant to my life exactly zero times, except to entertain myself.
- I've got a tooth gap through which I can whistle. And it's working so well, that I can also audibly whistle while breathing in. So, I can actually whistle pretty much continuously for like 10+ minutes, until my cheeks start hurting. Only really useful getting on someone's nerves...
  
  That's how I learned the bottom tooth whistle! One of my bottom front teeth was a bit crooked and created a tiny gap at the top, and I learned to whistle through it. When I got my teeth straightened I lost the ability to do the invert whistle and some of my control but I can still do it well enough with the pursed lip method.
- Ah! I have another whistling method! I can use my throat. It's like a heavily modified sigh? It's the best way I can describe how to even try to do it.
  With practice I think I could get it loud enough to be disorientating to the unsuspecting though. Lol
  
  Ha! I haven't heard of that, but maybe I should try to learn it just to know more ways. Not that I'm doing much with the ones I do know at the moment, lol

I can inhale through my butthole to fart on command.
- What are you, a turtle?
  
  Heheheheh. Turdle.

Sooo I can cause what honestly feels like a small and constant electrical current flow through any part of my body. If I center this feeling on my chest it is easily more prominent than anywhere else with my head being second. Extremities are dead last. If I am hooked up to a heart monitor I can make it freak out at will. Any location I focus it on tends to want to tense up.
I like to tell people this is the result of me grabbing onto a metal item when I was younger that was still hot. Couldn't let go for a solid 6-10 seconds, can't say exactly how long. What I am able to do feels very similar.
- a metal item when I was younger that was still hot
  Still hot as in temperature or electricity?
  
  As in sexy
  
  Electricity. Hand curled around it to grab and got rooted. I still remember the sensation of my repeating mental command to "LET GO" feeling as if it was slowly travelling down my arm. Weird is a word that comes to mind.

If I press on the corners of my eye it forces air down my naso-lacrimal duct (that lets tears drain into our sinuses) and it makes a squeak loud enough for people sitting next to be to hear. I have a built in nose flute.
- A nose flute, awesome! I have the opposite where I can blow air out the other way, but sometimes it will squirt out a stream of tears.

I can whistle while either exhaling or inhaling
Idk how special or weird it is but everyone I've tried to teach the skill to seems entirely incapable of doing the inhale one
It's super useful for whistling complex songs or long bits without stopping, though
- Hello. I, too, can do this!

Well, I can still do a cartwheel, it's good for surprising children. Thumbs bend backwards.
I can also reach all of me, which my husband seems to think odd, can put sunscreen on my own back so I don't think it's useless.

I can crack the knuckles of my big toes at will (only moving my toes, no hands involved).
- Me too! But only the ones on my right foot.
- Ditto.

I can poop on the floor. But I bet you can too.
- Instructions unclear. Anyone know how to clean a popcorn ceiling?
  
  Pre or post pop?

I can rotate one finger at one direction and the other on the opposite direction while pointing one to another, simultaneously. I don't know how uncommon it is but, back at high school, no one else in my class could do it. Totally unuseful skill.
- If I’m understanding your description correctly (the image didn’t come through), I can do this too! I heard once as a kid it was impossible and I refused to accept that, so I practiced until I could do it.
  Rephrasing to see if we’re talking about the same thing: I can point my fingers towards each other in front of me, then circle one hand away from myself and the other towards myself, and continue looping them in opposite directions. Most people can do it for 1-2 loops, but then end up moving both fingers in the same direction.
  
  I believe we're talking about the same thing. Welcome to the club!
  
  Neat! I just tried it and it's hard (harder one way than the other, for some reason), but doable.
- My fingers don't rotate unless you count wrist involvement, so I'm a little confused by what you're describing.
  
  Something like this. Sorry for the poor image. The wrists can move too, I think it doesn't change much.

I can fit the majority of my little finger up my nostrils. My nose might be slightly larger than normal and my hands are about normal. It just fits up there with a little twist.

I can put both my hands In a "pray" position behind my back between my shoulder blades. I can vibrate my eyes. Perpetually crack my right ankle. And pull my arm out of it's socket.
- I can vibrate my eyes.
  Oh shit. You just gave me a memo of middle/high school. I use to be able to do that. I just checked and maybe if I keep practicing, but it's not there anymore.
  Someone I knew did it to me in school. Like just vibrated their eyes while looking at me. Then asked if I could do that. Well no, but it intrigued my young ass enough to figure out how he did it. He told me and after a few days I was able to do it pretty easy.
  
  That's similar to how I learned! My brother could do it and I was envious and figured it out, he can do it for as long as he wants but my eyes tire after maybe 20 seconds or so

Due to an NDA I signed, I am unable to answer your inquiry. Next question please.
- Hi yes I'm a big fan. I'd like to know your credit card details please
  
  I LOVE my fans, I would do anything for them. It's Visa 0251 6623 8874 1000 exp 10/2027

I can move my fingertip joints without moving the rest of my finger.

I can make fart sounds with only my hands
- I can too with my hand and armpit ;)

Fall asleep standing
- The trick is to wake up standing, as well.
  
  Yeah that part is a bit shaky

I can
Bend my fingers back almost to the back of my hand, effortlessly
Raise/lower my eyebrows by a lot, even independently. I can make waving motions, as well!
Touch the tip of my nose or chin with my tongue
Wiggle my ears (though not independently)
Roll my eyes up so only the whites at the bottom are visible
- I used to able to touch my fingers to the back of my hand in middle school, but 10 years later I can only bend them back a little less than 3/4
  It was a neat party trick while it lasted, because everyone thought it hurt me to do it lol
  
  People are often so worried I'm pushing back hard and damaging my joints. So I let them push a finger back softly, then they're shocked how easy it is, but no longer worried about my joints! 😁

Deleted

I can trigger a few seconds vertigo attack when I lie down. If I do not think about it when going to bed, everything is fine. But if I think about it, then it invariably comes.

I can bring my hands from the back of my body to the front (and the opposite) while holding them together. There might be a use for this if I ever get tied up.
- Me too. the local police even stopped handcuffing me behind my back because I'd just step over so my hands were in front again.
  
  Deleted
- Would've been a nice skill for me to have at one point.

I can cock both eyebrows one at a time
I can touch my palms flat to the ground while trying to touch my toes

I can hear the blood flowing in my head, including hearing my own pulse via the same sound.
- That sounds stressful
  
  Only if you stop hearing it.
- have you considered getting your thyroid checked? anecdotal evidence, a former colleague mentioned they had thyroid issues (on the hyper side) and could hear their pulse in their head before solving it. somehow that bit of info stuck with me
  
  Never heard this, interesting. I usually only hear it in places with low background noise, it kinda reminds me of the sound a CRT TV or something kinda like electricity, it's not really like those things, but it's the closest thing I can think of.
  I can also hear myself blink if I have silence in a room.
  I also actually do have a thyroid condition, but that could be pure coincidence.

I can snap with my toes the same way people snap their fingers, but only with the right foot for some reason.
- I used to do this all the time. Since I stopped, they don't pop so easily anymore

I can spiral my tongue, so that the front part is fully upsidr down - but only to the left. I can't rotate it to the right at all for some reason, it's like the equivalent muscles are missing.

I can bend the last joint in my fingers independently. I also have a small nub on the tip of my tongue, which is only useful in one situation.
- Getting peanut butter off the roof of your mouth?
  
  Yep.
- I can bend the last joint of my right hand middle finger independently. Not any of the other ones though. I found out when I was playing Double Dragon in the arcade and smashing the attack button. My finger when stuff with the first joint bent and still smashing the kick button. I didn't know what it was.

I can lick my own uvula.
- I misread that, but I'm still curious
  
  Curious how? I can curl my tongue back and flick it.
- Next step, go behind it and reach your tongue up into your nasal passage above your soft pallet. Congratulations, you're now able to pick your nose from inside your mouth.
  I've been able to do this for about a decade now because I got bored one day.
- That's both titillating and disgusting. Bravo.
  
  hmmm.... titillusting
  
  THANK YOU

Sit in a cubicle for 8 hours a day.

Blow bubbles off of my tongue
- I came here to say this!
  Form a bubble under the tip of my tongue, scoop it up, fold tongue, gently blow.
  
  Yes! Same exact method lol

I can make fart sounds by squeezing my palms together
- I can do the same by cupping my hand in my armpit then jerking my arm down like a chicken wing real fast. Is this still a thing? I haven't been a kid since the 70's
  
  I'm in my 20s but totally still a thing when I was a kid.
- I can one up you by doing that with my chest
  
  I can do both of those and I can do it with my collarbone up against my neck. I do it accidentally all the time while leaning over and it catches me off guard all the time...and makes me giggle, because I am very mature.

Wake up and go about my day.

The best way I can describe it is I can make the nerves on the back of my neck, upper back, and shoulders feel sensitive at will.

I can whistle with my lips just slightly open (like a ventriloquist).
I can make a really high pitched whistle like that and it confused the hell out of other people while they trying to find where the sound came from (high pitched sound is harder to pinpoint the location as it's bounce around the room).
But as I get older, I find it getting harder and harder to do so. 10 - 12 years ago I can whistle an entire song like that and it would sound crystal clear. Now it's really hard to follow a tune or make complex sounds.
- It's called pallet whistling, I can do it too in fact I don't need to have lips very close at all i.e. you can see my teeth while whistling.
  
  Yeah that's what I meant. My lips can move freely while I whistle and it doesn't affect the sound at all. I just specifically mentioned the "slightly opened lips" as it's more interesting to the story I'm telling.

I can fold my ears twice - so from the top of my ear I fold it towards the bottom of my ear and at the point where it folds I can fold it again across over the first fold.

Not a thing I can, but I once knew a person who could make their eyes go anti-crosseyed, as in left eye looking far left, right eye looking far right, away from their nose.

I can sing really poorly.

Talking.