Can you find love after 30?
Can you find love after 30?
cross-posted from: https://lemmygrad.ml/post/4657758
Can you find love after 30?
Can a guy who hasn’t had much luck with women until his 30s find love by then or is it already too late for him?
32 comments
-
Kinda weird to assume there's a cutoff age to be honest.
-
-
It's because a lot of cultures both idealize young love and also devalue older partners.
-
There's no hard cutoff age but, I think we'd be lying if we said dating becomes more difficult with age, or at least it does past a certain age. I'd argue I did better in my late 20s than early 20s, so sometimes having a few more years of experience and maturity helps. However the older you get the more people in your age bracket have either coupled off or lost interest in romance so pickings become slimmer, also dating is harder when you have less energy, easier to find people to fool around with when youthful horniness can drive you to stay up till 4am on the slim chance of making out with someone you met at Brian Keenan's after game kegger.
But there's people who find love in retirement homes so anything is possible.
-
However the older you get the more people in your age bracket have either coupled off or lost interest in romance so pickings become slimmer, also dating is harder when you have less energy, easier to find people to fool around with when youthful horniness can drive you to stay up till 4am
around what age does it become like that? when do people lose youthful horniness like that?
-
-
-
-
I sincerely encourage anyone who thinks your life is mostly over the second you turn 30 to log off
what about 34?
-
-
I couldn't find it before 30 so I sure fucking hope so
-
Setting aside the concept of it being too late, it kind of depends I would think. As someone that is in their 30s and a pretty limited love life I would say its definitely difficult. But it probably has more to do with the fact that there's certain things with myself that I haven't really addressed or overcome.
-
Totally. Made out with a hotty from work at 32. I'm coming up to 50 and I've barely spent a night away from her. We're still madly in love.
-
I have a very good friend I've known since we were in grade school together who never had a partner the entire time we hung out regularly. He was just always a bit shy and awkward around women. I moved away from the city we both lived in when I was 27 and then about five years later he suddenly started dating a woman who had a son from a previous marriage. They've been together about maybe five years now and married for at least two. He's become even more of a leftist since the start of COVID (he used to be just a generally left-leaning lib type and now is a declared socialist) and he went vegan, which blew my mind because he used to always just eat fast food when I knew him. So yes, you can find love and develop a whole lot more after 30.
-
Yes. It's harder because of a multitude of factors (the demise of 'third places', your peers opting to stay in, accumulated wear & tear on our bodies, e.t.c) but not impossible.
-
Yes
-
Yes, of course. I got married (for the first time) in my 30s.
-
I found mine at 35. Honestly it gets easier, not harder.
-
Why is that?
-
I trust myself more, and care more about relevant shit than I did when I was younger. Sorry that's really basic, but I'm super tired now.
-
-
-
Yes, its even easier than when you're younger, gotta fight people away. Now I understand the phenomena among say the 60+.
-
I don’t get what you mean. Why does it get easier?
-
As people age they realize the whole conventional attractions and set material list of needs are to a large degree simply illusions, long as its people enjoying each others presence and have some sort of even idle desire its more than good enough, and it doesn't matter what anyone thinks beyond parties involved.
As one ages this observation becomes stronger. Simply put, as you age you give less fucks, which leads to more fucks.
-
-
-
Just look at Blanche from Golden Girls. She didn't seem to have much trouble finding dates.
Seriously though, you probably can but I've given up and I just have my dog, Gundams, and shitposting on hexbear and discord. Maybe things will change when I can escape this place and travel to a land far far away.
-
Stop trying to find love and let love find you
-
Depends on the power dynamics.
-
What do you mean?
-
Hexbear inside reference/joke.
When the commenters here say its "easier" in one's 30s to date, it means that people who are single in their 30s often cut through the romantic anxiety and adolescent ritual of consulting entrails or trying to interpret signs and just express intent of interest directly or their feelings directly. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzDFKJHczQ8
The new dynamic of people at or older than 30 is that these people have established identities and understandings of themselves - which we call maturity - which strengthens the prospects of relationships instead of a joint venture of people in the process of self-actualization. (People in their 30s are further along this process.). Relationships thrive and function by the accumulation of minor gestures, and it comes down being considerate and consistent.
If you're a Millennial, think of Friends' Ross & Rachel in Season 4 vs Ross & Rachel in Season 10. (Without all the forced dysfunction deemed necessary for the humor of a sitcom.)
-
-
-
Happiest couple I know met at 33 and 29 respectively, so yeah probably.
It's harder but doable.
32 comments