Bulletins and News Discussion from May 20th to May 26th, 2024 - Never Break TrueAnon's Rules For Life - COTW: Azerbaijan

Image is of Azerbaijan's President, Aliyev (left) and Armenia's President, Pashinyan (right) in a meeting a month or two after Azerbaijan took Nagorno-Karabakh.

1. Never go to a second location.
2. Always get the interior ministry post.
3. Never get in a helicopter or any small aircraft.
4. If someone with a gun enters your car, they’re gonna kill you.
5. If someone tells you they’re not going to kill you, they’re calming you down to kill you later.
6. Never give up your nukes.
7. Never release the opposition's political prisoners.
8. Never let the opposition delay elections.
9. If someone starts to get into German runes, drop them.
10. Never trust a South American with a German name.
11. Never move anywhere for a religion.
12. Never go into the sewers unless you’re a sewer guy.
13. If someone’s trying to get you to commit a crime, they're FBI (sometimes CIA or military intelligence).
14. Never become an FBI informant.
15. If you do become an FBI informant, record everything.
16. Never relinquish your arms.
17. Always get it in writing.
18. If you keep gambling, you’ll eventually win.
19. Never talk to cops without a lawyer.
20. Always pay your mercenaries.
21. Don’t let anyone take your passport.

To add an addendum to rule 3, never put your President and Foreign Minister in the same helicopter or small aircraft. Especially if doing so in bad weather conditions. Especially if you're already under threat from a hostile nuclear power in the region with a proclivity for terrorism (though this probably isn't Israel's doing, in this particular case).

Anyway, Azerbaijan. Not a great country, I think. Did some genocides. They're a petrostate that is hosting Cop29, which I suppose is a way for the bourgeoisie to implicitly convey their contempt for the green movement. They got weapons from Israel, too.

Just for the record, there's an Iranian province called East Azerbaijan, which is not the same as Azerbaijan.

The COTW (Country of the Week) label is designed to spur discussion and debate about a specific country every week in order to help the community gain greater understanding of the domestic situation of often-understudied nations. If you've wanted to talk about the country or share your experiences, but have never found a relevant place to do so, now is your chance! However, don't worry - this is still a general news megathread where you can post about ongoing events from any country.

The Country of the Week is Azerbaijan! Feel free to chime in with books, essays, longform articles, even stories and anecdotes or rants. More detail here.

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