Kiss is still cool though

Back in the early/mid 90s I had just bought Death Spiritual Healing, Malevolent Creation Ten Commandments, and Nocturnus The Key from a video rental place in my home town.

Me and a buddy listened to all of the metal I just got and decided to see what else we could find. Then we saw it, it had to be the holy grail of heavy metal! There was a motorcycle blasting out of hell and this awesome bat in the background. The album was Bat Out of Hell and the band was so metal their name was Meatloaf! This was going to be soul crushingly heavy…

Well, you were lucky anyway, MeatLoaf fucking rules
- When you are expecting something along the lines of the other tapes I had just got, Meatloaf is weak sauce.
That's a good fucking album though. Bat Out of Hell II: Bat Back Into Hell fucking sucked, though I will admit liking his version of a particular song more than Celine Dion's version.
Bat Out of Hell
Banger album tbh. Plus, not many artists make something like that.
Thanks for causing me to listen to this album again!

The incredible irony here is that there are so, so many death and black metal musicians that are genuinely better people than Gene Simmons could ever be. I would trust my kids (note: I do not have kids) around Cannibal Corpse and Cattle Decapitation. I would absolutely not trust Simmons around a teen daughter.

I'd totally leave my kids with Ozzy but only because I know Sharon would also be there.
- And if anything happens, he'd probably carry them back to civilization before going into a coma.
- Yeah, if the house caught on fire she could send them back in to save her paintings.
  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9fBsRiB3ijs&pp=ygUbc2hhcm9uIG9zYm91cm5lIGhvdXNlIGZpcmUg
Oh for sure, metal heads are for real wholesome ppl. Metal concerts are probably the lowest in some stupid peer pressure things or macho competitions (who can to the most x stuff, who has the most money, etc), and I absolutely know how many people react to someone needing some help. Maybe because we are a more diverse group related to age? Or because we are everywhere yet nowhere mainstream?
- I was the Metal Blade 25th anniversary show in Chicago--Cattle Decapitation with Goatwhore, Allegaeon, and Novembers Doom--and the lead of Goatwhore stopped the show to point out the guy that had his 10yo kid (with ear muffs!) at the edge of the pit, and told the crowd to be careful and friendly, because that kid was the future of the scene.
- Depends on. Some places of the metal community outdo gaming toxicity-wise, especially pre-2010s.
Better people and musicians / composers, I'd say
George Fisher is awesome! Plus dat neck haha
I would trust my kids (note: I do not have kids) around Cannibal Corpse
Well, maybe not at Pat O’Brien’s house.
If you left your kids with Cattle Decapitation you’d end up picking up a budding eco-terrorist which doesn’t sound half bad
- Fair point; it seems like he wasn't storing his firearms safely.
  Hope he gets the help he needs. :(

When your primary motivations are to get laid, get rich, and become popular, in that order, kiss has it down to an art form.

True. Music isn't the art form they were good at.
And yet are fairly widely recognisable for, em, ~~music I guess~~ that long tongue.

"Rock and roll all nite" is at least somewhat rock-ish. Try "I was made for loving you" that's almost pure disco.

Speaking of which
- I've seen Earth Wind and Fire in concert. They're every bit as spectacular as you'd think they'd be.
- Ok, that was legit.

Late to the party, everything that needed to be said has been said. Still, let me add my voice to the choir: KISS has never been cool. KISS is the opposite of cool.

This guy things KISS is hot!
- Stop spreading negative rumors about people on Lemmy!

Literally most 80's and 90's "hair metal" bands.

Then there's Steely Dan who goes the opposite direction. He looks and sounds middle of the road, but the lyrics are dark as fuck. Used to only know of him because of jokes about his music being soft as shit, and then I took the time to actually listen to it and I was blown away.

Steely Dan isn't a person, it's two main artists and a bunch of other session musicians. The band's name came from a steam-powered dildo named Steely Dan in a book from the early 60's I believe.
They made some fucking amazing music!
- Fair. I do the same with Tom Petty, even though I mean Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers.
- It's from Naked Lunch, and it's a dildo so strong it could survive even the strongest lesbian's vagina.
"My Rival" is my favorite jaunty funk-rock ditty about a guy stalking the man that stole his wife, cornering him in the middle of the desert, and kicking him to death in a strip mall parking lot. And that's not even in the 'Dan Top 10.
And you can't listen to "Godwhacker" and tell me that isn't the basic plot of half a dozen death metal songs, just with more jive and a sicker bassline.
He looks and sounds middle of the road, but the lyrics are dark as fuck
Have you ever listened to the lyrics for Simon and Garfunkel songs? They make the most beautiful and serene music, all about darkness, loneliness, and desperation.
- Funnily enough Disturbed's Remix of Sound of Silence goes pretty hard. And now I've heard remixes of a remix
Bonus points for being named after a sex toy.
Exactly. Mötley Crüe for example is just lame compared to the attitude they had
The song about creepy Mister LaPage wanting to show kids dirty movies comes to mind, Everyone's Gone To the Movies. Also Third World Man, about a veteran suffering from PTSD, or Kid Charlemagne and the story it tells of a drug kingpin.
There’s that one song about boning his cousin that weird me out big time
- It's ok. You're not alone. Other people have ugly cousins too.

Kiss sucks

I've heard one good song from them and it was played ad nauseum.
- Love gun?
Love the Detroit Rock City reference.
- Detroit Metal City >>> Kiss

KISS: when you like the look of black metal but can't handle the sound of black metal.

... and for grown ups that want that there is baby metal.
/j
- Did somebody say Baby metal?

they've always been musical posers/sellouts. that's sort of their shtick I guess?

to be so gloriously average but pretend to be cool but end up looking fabulously gay.

and their SOUND! sooo ...average.

I was about 12 years old when they were popular, and I was in the market for posers with an average sound.
- Nothing's average to you when you've barely listened to anything. Many of us started their musical journey with bands we don't enjoy anymore because we now know better ones.
"KISS doesn't get the joke, man!"
...Dramatic irony is when the reader knows something the character does not.

And now we've got Ghost. It's all cycles, man

Scooby doo chase music
I was actually surprised when I first heard Ghost, it was so calm it could almost work as elevator music. You'd never expect that from their looks
They're more in the realm of like... Stoner Rock, Psychedelic Doom and Smooth rock tbh with a large emphasis on Satanist Imagery and gospel. I fuck with that. More like Candlemass type Doom metal than like Stormkeep Doom Metal.
KISS on the other hand was like "Hey kids, we heard you like corpse paint, crazy guitar riffs and meaningful lyrics so we made the opposite for your mothers to listen to."
came to say the same, kiss isn't metal and neither ghost
- Their earlier works certainly are. If their early albums aren't metal then Black Sabbath isn't metal either.

Not at all sure Kiss is still cool

that pedo band?

Christine Sixteen:

don't usually say things like this to girls your age
But when I saw you coming out of school that day
That day I knew, I knew
I've got to have you, I've got to have you

Yikes! I don't stand by my title for this post.
- If you pay attention, lyrics about sex with minors was a common theme from the 50s (and earlier) to the 90s (and later).
  "I get it up for the touch of the younger kind" ~ my Sharona - the knack, 1979
  "She was just 17, if you know what I mean" ~ I saw her standing there - the Beatles, 1963
  Girl, you'll be a woman soon. Neil diamond
  Don't stand so close to me. The police
  Sweet little sixteen. Chuck Berry
  Etc.
It is creepy, not pedophile.
I know for most people this seems like hair splitting but there is a stark contrast between beeing attracted to a 16 year old (which only based on physical appearance is very normal) and being attracted to prepubescent people.
Acting on attractions is a whole different book.

I felt the same thing when I went to check out my parent's version of a rebellious rock band "the rolling stones"

Stones are at their best when they lean towards Blues and Folk. See Angie.
Their hits are all pretty mid.
- Their hits are all pretty mid.
  Gimme Shelter definitely isn't mid, and is one of their biggest hits. I'd argue it's their best song, in fact.
- Paint it Black is hard and badass
My mom's rebellious rock band was Black Sabbath, so I never experienced that level of disappointment. The first time I listened to them I was like "holy shit, this is bad ass!". I still feel that way. I was just rocking out to Wasp/Behind the Wall of Sleep/Basically last night. But I thought the Stones were pretty badass the first time I heard them too. Paint it Black goes hard, and Gimme Shelter is a very cool song. I love the sound of Sympathy for the Devil.