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Backflip.
I imagine that means my body won’t hurt and I’ll have the athleticism to do a few backflips until I’ve done them. If I don’t do them, then my body is just suddenly healthy and pain free.
At 40, I’ll take that shit.
No, that's literally the only exercise you can do. Your body is absolutely optimizer to do 3 backflips and nothing else.
Why would I exercise?
To be able to pick up a cup of coffee.
Absurd