1y ago

Comedy World Righteously Roasts Trump Over Gettysburg Gaffe

People can’t stop cracking up over the former president’s bizarre, bumbling speech.

Speaking outside Allentown, Pennsylvania, on Sunday, Donald Trump left everyone confused when he attempted to explain the Battle of Gettysburg, praised (and invented a quote from) Confederate General Robert E. Lee, and generally had no idea what he was talking about.

When his off-the-cuff remarks hit late-night television on Monday, the hosts couldn’t hide their laughter.

“You have to hand it to this guy: On the weekend before his unprecedented criminal trial begins, he somehow manages to overshadow it with this broken-brained interpretation of what happened at Gettysburg during the Civil War,” Jimmy Kimmel quipped.

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Being an actual moron isn't a "gaffe" lol.
- Yea, the guy is ignorant and is used to BSing his way through it. His wealth has long sheltered him from being called out on it.
  "look having nuclear...." Moron
  
  is used to BSing his way through it
  When you are famous they let you do it.
  
  Look, having nuclear — my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart — you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I'm one of the smartest people anywhere in the world — it’s true! — but when you're a conservative Republican they try — oh, do they do a number — that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune — you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged — but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me — it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are — nuclear is so powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what's going to happen and he was right, who would have thought? — but when you look at what's going on with the four prisoners — now it used to be three, now it’s four — but when it was three and even now, I would have said it's all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don't, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years — but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us, this is horrible."
  Donald "Tiny hands" Trump
- Being a moron is not enough. You also have to suffer from rapidly advancing dementia to be regarded as the literal second coming of Christ by "conservatives".
  
  Honestly, that makes perfect sense. Their other darling president was a talentless hack, brainless politician with dementia, so it 100% tracks that they can't get on their knees fast enough.
- Yeah, it's only a gaffe if your base isn't stupid enough to already believe the brainless bullshit that falls out of your talk hole.
What exactly do people see in Trump? He's got no idea what happened at Gettysburg, why even bring it up?
- He lets people who "believe in him" let go of all guilt, shame, and self-doubt. It doesn't matter if you're racist, sexist, or homophobic, it doesn't matter if you commit crimes, perpetrate injustice, blaspheme, or maliciously harm others, as long as you believe in Trump, he forgives you. It's intoxicating to some people. He's like the opposite of Jesus. Some kind of "anti-Jesus."
  As far as why Trump even brought it up, he's a narcissist who has never had boundaries or been held accountable for anything. He just says and does whatever he wants in the moment.
  
  He’s like the opposite of Jesus. Some kind of “anti-Jesus.”
  I wonder if the bible has anything to say about that...
  
  Supply side Jesus
  
  anti-Jesus
  You might say the Jesus character in the Bible is a projection of the Yahweh character's internal need to excuse his own horrendous behavior in the same way that Trump excuses his base's behaviors.
  
  It doesn't matter if you're racist, sexist, or homophobic, it doesn't matter if you commit crimes, perpetrate injustice, blaspheme, or maliciously harm others, as long as you believe in Trump, he forgives you. It's intoxicating to some people. He's like the opposite of Jesus.
  I hate to burst your bubble, but that literally is the canonical conceptualization of Jesus.
  "As long as you accept him into your heart as your lord and savior, all is forgiven" is basically the lifeblood of modern Christianity. It's why you have people proselytizing to death row inmates to "save them" before execution.
  There's a lot of other aspects that are antithetical to canonical Jesus, who I don't recall having golden toilets or being tried for fraud in paying off a porn star to keep quiet about an extramarital affair - but "he forgives everything" is pretty on brand.
- What di they see in him? He is a schoolyard bully with opposition defiant disorder, a fraud, a racist, and a rapist. They are looking in a mirror and they approve.
These are his actual words... or word salad:
Union was saved by the immortal heroes at Gettysburg. Gettysburg. What an unbelievable battle that was, the battle of Gettysburg. What an unbelievable… I mean, it was so much and so interesting and so vicious and horrible and so beautiful in so many different ways. It represented such a big portion of the success of this country. Gettysburg, wow. I go to Gettysburg, PA to look and to watch. And the statement of Robert E Lee, who’s no longer in favor. Did you ever notice that? No longer in favor. “Never fight uphill, me boys, never fight uphill.” They were fighting uphill, he said. Wow, that was a big mistake. He lost his great general, and they were fighting. “Never fight uphill, me boys,” but it was too late.
- Everything he says sounds like it’s being said by someone taking an oral test on a topic they know nothing about and have never studied but their gigantic and undeserved ego won’t allow them to admit their total and complete ignorance on the subject at hand.
  
  Now you understand.
  
  The only part in what you wrote that isn't the precise and literal truth is "taking a test."
- He's like the presidential version of the Nigerian prince scam email. That email contains a bunch of intentional misspellings and grammatical errors because the phishers want to weed out people who can think and reason correctly.
  
  "I love the poorly educated"
- That's it? This is more coherent than usual. We aren't discussing the Air Force bases during the American Revolution so it was one of the better days for demented Donald.
- The fact an audience will sit there enraptured is the scariest part.
  What a dunderhead.
- I wonder if he measures success size the same way he measures hand size.
That wasn't a gaffe. It's his normal way of not knowing a damned thing about any subject and just spewing random adjectives.
- Yes. So Many Adjectives!
  
  Yes, tremenedous quantities of adjectives. These are very, very good adjectives. Some would say the best ever. Tremendous.
Ok but seriously, he’s demented. Not kidding. His brain is ill.
- And a majority of conservatives still agree that he is the most accurate representative of their thoughts.
  
  I mean I can't stand the dude but some of his voters have to be strategic. I'll be voting for Biden but he certainly isn't the most accurate representative of my thoughts. Quite the opposite in most things really.
I thought I was going crazy thinking he must have held a second rally, because Gettysburg isn't anywhere near where he was speaking. The place he was at is as close to NYC or almost any part of the Jersey Shore as it was to Gettysburg.
To just randomly go into a speech about how General Lee isn't as beloved as he used to be is really out of nowhere and how it could be directed to anyone other than some racist types is beyond me.
I really hope my state can start to heal itself if we can whomp the Rs again this election. There's still a rabid base of these supporters though, but they've been laying a bit low. I've been seeing signs up all over for Mark Houck instead of Trump, so I looked up who this guy was and he twice assaulted a 72-year-old abortion clinic escort.
Houck was accused of physically assaulting Bruce Love, a 72-year-old clinic escort, in October 2021. Love was attempting to escort two patients exiting the Philadelphia clinic when Houck “forcefully shoved” him to the ground, according to the Justice Department. On a separate occasion, Houck allegedly verbally confronted the escort and shoved him to the ground outside the clinic. Love sustained injuries that required medical attention.
However, Houck said he spoke outside of abortion clinics each week and sometimes brought his 12-year-old son along. He said he shoved Love after the clinic escort invaded his son’s personal space and yelled at him.
This is who the Rs are trying to get to push out their long term somewhat moderate current Republican rep.
Vote 'em out, me boys!
DON'T FIGHT UPHILL ME BOYS!
such a famous quote, delivered with all the gravitas that it warrants
- I took it as him saying the quote he was referencing - Don’t fight uphill - and directing it to his ‘boys’.
  
  When was the last time you heard someone say 'me boys' who wasn't Scottish or a 16th century pirate?
- It's like the Democrat version of Let's go Brandon.
  
  Let’s Go Brandon is the Democratic version. Now.
The quote he made up reeks of lost cause mentality. The idea that Lee lost because his generals didn't follow his grand wisdom has been around since right after the war. There was a southern journalist who lost a defamation case to a general he claimed didn't adhere to orders. I think some lost cause circles still bring it up. Despite winning the case the guy was military not pr, and didn't know how to use the money to repair his reputation from a guy who professionally spreads information (disinformation in this case).
- HE’S NOT IN FAVOR ANYMORE. ANY ~~WHITE PEOPLE~~ BODY NOTICE THAT LATELY? NOT IN FAVOR.
Not joking, I saw a couple of excerpts from the speech shortly on here, and thought it was just a meme. Didn't even realize it was real until the next day when I saw the clip of him saying it. Just originally thought it was just too dumb to say, even for Trump.
- "[Robert E. Lee] said, 'Never fight uphill, me boys! Never fight uphill!' They were fighting uphill. He said, 'Wow...'"
  
  They were fighting uphill. He said, "Wow.."
Compare "potatoe" to Trump's speech. This speech needs to be played again and again as a campaign ad gift from Trump.
- I am old enough to remember that. My, how times have changed.
  Also, remember the time that Howard Dean tried to stir up some excitement among his campaign supporters and was knocked as "not being presidential"?
  This is truly the Darkest Timeline™.
  
  Howard Dean's most famous quote: "BYAAAAH!"
  
  I wish that labeling oneself a "news" network came with the burden of being required to have even the slightest amount of integrity.
Its already a meme. Interestingly its not the first time he got this quote wrong!
https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/never-fight-uphill-me-boys
- Tinfoil hat time... Repeated misquotes like this make me wonder if it's a signal to someone who he isn't able to contact directly because his communications are closely monitored.
  It's easy to say he's just dumb, but clearly he's quite capable. But maybe he's just using filler words because he has fuck-all to say.
  
  He is in fact very dumb.
  More specifically, he has broken impulse control (even affects his speech), a small vocabulary, poor memory recall (all these combined results in his "bigly" choice of words), and he has a ridiculously small minded world view and very limited understanding of other humans ("theory of mind"). In the last few years he's also becoming much more prone to losing his train of thought and failing to comprehend things.
  
  He kept the stolen classified documents in the Mar-a-Lago bathroom next to a copy machine. He is far too fucking dumb for a covert signal delivered publicly.
  There are no consequences for any of his actions so there is no need for it either. He'll just go on national TV and literally say, "everyone in the hate group, stand by."
  
  Take off the hat. He is so dumb that it's impossible for him to remember to do anything nefarious, let alone mildly intelligent.
  
  Hanlon's Razor

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