MichaelxJoAnn Rule

My wife: They don't even sell the same stuff.

Me:Yeah, I'm sure they had to split their assets in the divorce.

Too bad they were just capitalists that ran out all the cool local stores and all share the same shitty patterns and designs.

It's because Michael got caught with his knick-knacks in a Hobby Lobby.

Don’t forget Hobby Lobby masturbating in the corner

There’s no way Michael is straight.