If you knew you were going to get Alzheimer’s at 65 would you have kids?
This has been on my mind lately. My dad is going through it, his sister has got it pretty bad and I apparently have the predisposed gene to get in my future.
I’m leaning no because I wouldn’t want to make my child go through slowly watching their dad’s mind leave them and also potentially pass it on to them when they get older.
It’s thrown me for a loop since I always imagined myself having kids and I’m around that age now.
What do you think?
Edit: I just want to say that I did not expect the kind of response this post got. I’m grateful for all of your comments and the perspectives it’s allowed me to peak into.
I also should mention that were I to have children they would most certainly not be burdened by being the crutch of my own personal journey of accepting and loving who I am. That is work for me alone and I would never unload that responsibility onto those I love and especially those who I’d be raising.
As for my partner not wanting kids, I would never consider forcing or persuading them to raise a child when they know for certain it’s not in their cards. This is another element in how I’ve been navigating this question. I love her with everything I have and I can’t imagine us being apart and yet there is a pang that lingers of the father I assumed I would eventually become.
Anyway, thanks again for your thoughtful replies. They’ve helped so much especially since this is the first time I’ve voiced these thoughts.
From your other replies it seems like you're unsure you want kids in any case, but if you do there's a simple thought experiment here: do you wish your father hadn't had you? If not, it's reasonable to think your children would be just as grateful to be alive as you are, sick dad or not.
But still, that would be weighed correctly in the question whether OP is glad their dad had them, the question isn't whether they haven't had happy memories