They call me the Hiphopopotamus
My lyrics are bottomless
On Doomsday, ever since the womb ‘Til I’m back where my brother went, that’s what my tomb will say
Right above my government; Dumile. Either unmarked or engraved, hey, who’s to say?
-MF Doom, Doomsday
I really love the wordplay with his government name 'Dumile' having a double meaning of 'Doom'll lay'. There are a bunch of other MF Doom lyrics in contention for goat status, in my opinion.
fuck tha police
fuckin magnets how do they work?
Ice cream scoopin', shittin' poopin', shittin', poopin'
But more seriously, MF DOOM (RIP) is one of my favourite artists, but he's been covered in a few comments already. But one of my favourites from him is:
Getting paid like a biker with the best crank
Spray it like a high-ranked sniper in the West BankHead to Bali, smoking cuban cigars, And we fuck up the party like acoustic guitars
"fuck up the party like acoustic guitars" always cracked me up so much.
I don't know if it's the best of all time, but I really enjoy this from Common ('Sixth Sense’):
I start thinking, how many souls hip-hop has affected
How many dead folks this art resurrected
How many nations this culture connected
Who am I to judge one's perspective?
Though some of that shit y'all pop true it, I ain't relating
If I don't like it, I don't like it, that don't mean that I'm hatingThe Drop [Intro] Victor, a stranger to see you Who that? Who that, who that?
[Verse: Viktor Vaughn] If I'm not working or putting work in I'm either wheeling and dealing, or probably jerkin my— Yep—listening to nothing, taking no suggestions Or destructive criticisms, that can't improve on perfection Rock a crowd in sections on a good night, the hoes fight Always get the dough first then everything else goes right At least that's what they say and who the fuck is they? Make a hick say “what the hey?” brought that chick from sick bay Ensign, he shoulda asked his upperclassmen Before he bust blast em, never trust no Cardassians Captain’s log supplemental The Klingons are now aboard the Enterprise rental vessal On my cue, photon torpedo Oh and if I'm not on the block with Jorgito And so on for the street though, smoke a pound of leek though I'm jokin on the fact that hip-hop has gone freakshow Don't let the drama get you In the only genre of music where the fans shoot the messenger Bitch niggas talk behind your back like a catcher Either M-Y-O-B or B-Y-O-stretcher In that order: man, woman, son, daughter The beat sound like they underwater, make it fun to slaughter Even if you hear some wack shit you never give a chance Some shit sound like all you could do off it is river-dance It's not a hobby, don't be sloppy Doing deals with these labels is likened to a botched robbery Nobody supposed to get bodied, golly! This shit is like a folly 'bout to cold flip, probably It's not me, he got ill spills knot in Brooknam Where even though kids kill they still chill and look calm While working on new developments for the book bomb In one bad experiment, it blew and took a hooker arm ("Arm and leg") BOW! look mom, no hand Studied black magic for years out in no man's land It's like a barbecue, all-swine cookout To fuck up they plans like a blind man lookout Cram to overstand it, peep it and absorb it The same way he keep all the planets in they proper orbit Norbit, y'all better off going corporate Nobody wanna hear that bullshit it's too morbid There's no prints, he hold the mic with a mic glove And rolls dolo from state to state like Ike Love Like on top of the world loser keep it gully Rap creeps seem they got too much juice in they belly It's why they brung V he still hungry And spit something thick on the mic like a lungy Mind ya daughter she on line for the water To get lucky like when she find a quarter kinda sorta Remember me God, clean timbs with emery board? He only came to save the game like a memory card Ooh shrewd, a lot of crews is too rude And it's way too many let's not and say we do dudes He said 24-7 I be on call He use his vacation days to watch Babylon fall Numbskulls.. get to stepping they dumb dull And how he rep the mic is like the weapon from Krull Cats be like "what's wrong with your man black?" Biohazard suit and Van Grack for the anthrax Jeez and can't get no peace Form blazin sword for the police robeast Cochise, write a rhyme like a book report And sell it to a rookie you could tell by the hook he bought You ain't know he sell hooks and choruses? They couldn't bang the slang if they looked in thesauruses It's like a friendly game of dodge ball Oddball God y'all, who played the garage wall With the Stan Smith's checkerboard lace And the brand new INF they ain't check the boy waist You saw his face? so who next to get they neck chopped Or popped like a Beck's top, respect the drop It's too much wreck hops Who next to get they neck chopped Or popped like a Beck's top, respect the drop Woopdie-do flows do fifty like a hooptie do Groupie crews try to figure out from what coop he flew They out of place, beats sounds like outer space With no time to waste he was Audi without a trace
If you got bad breath then maybe try Scope
And if you wash your ass you best use soap
One for the money, two for the better green / 3-4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine
You're waxin' your modem, tryin' to make it go faster
Hey fella, I bet you're still livin' in your parents' cellar
Downloadin' pictures of Sarah Michelle Gellar And postin' "Me too!" like some brain-dead AOL-er
I should do the world a favor and cap you like Old Yeller
You're just about as useless as jpegs to Hellen Keller
Thinkin' of a master plan 'Cuz ain't nuthin' but sweat inside my hand So I dig into my pocket, all my money is spent So I dig deeper but still comin' up with lint"Who's that peekin' in my window? Pow! Nobody now"
"I take seven kids from columbine, stand'em all in line, add an ak-47 a revolver, a nine, a mac-11 and it'll solve a problem of mine and that's a whole school of bully's shot up all at one time."
So this lyric is notable, not just for being edgy, but also because it was a product of it's time. It was published during the height of tipper gore and hillary clinton trying to appease the "moral majority" by attempting to censor rap music which is called out in the album.
Ultimately the lyric is self-censored because while the artist could have gotten away with it, the label was playing it safe, even though nothing about the lyric would have tripped the moral panic alarm. After all the rapper was white referencing a white event.
What good is takin' over When we know what you gon' do? The only real revolution happens right inside of you
I'm sorry, Puff, but I don't give a fuck
If this chick was my own mother, I'd still fuck her with no rubber
And cum inside her and have a son and a new brother
At the same time and just say that it ain't mine—what's my name?Step up in this motherfucker just a-swingin' my hair.
Biggie: "Fuck the state pen, fuck hoes at Penn State" or "Now honeys play me close like butter play toast"
I seen his feet and they both lefty
He's only steppin half correctly
"Life's not a bitch, life is a beautiful woman. You only call her a bitch 'cause she won't let you get that pussy." - _Daylight_Aesop Rock
"Dead in the middle of Little Italy, little did we know that we riddled some middlemen who didn't do diddily."
Now I play hard like my girl's nipples be
The game sour like a pickle be
“I used to drive a dinger with the dents in, now it’s pearlescent, and the bonnet got the vents in.” - (Bonnet = hood of a car)
I was raised in the city...shitty..ever since i was an iddy biddy kiddy drinking liquor out my mama's tiddy.
"England is my city"
or
"Thats an awfully hot coffee pot"
"Luda, Jada and Nas // and our bullets give you a deep tissue massage // so here's a song and dance while I make these ends // you never stood half a chance like Siamese Twins."
I'll rip a tree out the ground and flip it upside down 'Fore I turn over a new leaf, clown
Mom’s spaghetti
Maybe I am the ballot in the box / the bullet in the gun / the inner glow that lets you know to call your brother son and really that whole theme song.
Honey, check it out you got me mesmerized
With your black hair and fat-ass thighs
I only wish I could find someone someday who will think of such romantic things to say to me...
Bear witness to the sickest shot while suckers get romantic
They ain't gonna send us campin' like they did my man Fred Hampton
Still we lampin', still clockin' dirt for our sweat
A ballot's dead, so a bullet's what I get
A thousand years they had the tools, we should be takin' 'em
Fuck the G-ride, I want the machines that are makin' 'em
Swagger tighter then a yeast infection
Fly go hard like geese erection
Fashion patrol police detection
I stay tight like Chinese connectionDr. Carter by Lil Wayne
Real Gs move in silence like lasagna.
I like my sugar with coffee and cream.
I smell a grape in the duck preserves
I start to think and then I sink into the paper, like I was ink / when I'm writing I'm trapped in between the lines / I escape - when I finish the rhyme
My favorite wordplay line:
"Balling on my mind, Kareem Abdul-a oblongata" - lil ugly mane
Plead the fifth, sip wine stiffly
Patiently come up and be spiffy in a jiffy
Gift for the grind, criminal mind shifty
Swift with the nine through a fifty nine fifty
"Why did one straw break the camel's back? Here's the secret — the million other straws underneath it. It's all mathematics." -- Yasiin Bey
"Going up to heaven on an escalator/ Cause they sent you to hell on an escalator"
Or maybe
"I look like a dick in my picture ID/ But also the pic isn't me. Hmm"
I don't fraternize with the ranking file
Ever drop a gasp for a General such as myself
That's sabotage!You think that you can amputate me? I am you, you are me, you are I, I am we We are one, split in two that makes one, so you see You got to kill you if you wanna kill me
And I'm notorious, I'll crush you like a jelly bean - LL Cool J
“I count lives, all on these songs
Look at the weak and cry, pray one day you'll be strong
Fighting for your rights, even when you're wrong
And hope that at least one of you sing about me when I'm gone”
Alone. Phone's unplugged. Ignoring calls even though no one does.
Used to speak the King's En-ga-lish
But caught a rash on my lips, so now my chat just like dis
put your finger in the hole come bowl with me
Duck Duck Goose – cupcakKe https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awGEv-ctCtg
and honestly the rest of the lyrics in this filthy masterpiece. 11/10
Rhymes is made of garlic
I made the change from a common thief
To up close and personal with Robin Leach
And I'm far from cheap, I smoke skunk with my peeps all day Spread love, it's the Brooklyn way
Déjà vu abducting
Sticky psyche touching
So many sensory
Dripping dripping splashing splashing happening
Already
Now, now, Billy, not reallyI'm a pimp by blood, not relation,
y'all still chase on, I'll replace onIf you don't recognize that truth and the one who spat it, gtfo this thread you poser ;)
And, perhaps, this lesser known
I rip rappers and take responsibility,
For makin' future hall of famers look third-rate,
Y'all are lost for words like,
Conversation on your worst first-date,
And raw beats creep through side streets,
Loose leaf notepads, that's where rhymes leak,
Punch-lines, man, don't even beg,
I got knee-slapping tracks, y'all cruisin' ya leg,
You a rhyme-writer, buddy? Man, that's a joke,
You ain't worthy of being my secretary,
Man, that's a quoteIf you do recognize that, well, you're just as fucking goofy as me, which ain't much, but it's better than nothing. But it's a pretty fucking tight set of lyrics.
basically every line from I will lick your asshole
but specifically "I'm so bad they get L.L to call the cops"
Milk is chillin, what more can I say.
One of my favorites from Oh Bo by Bo Burnham:
Pull it out, stick it in your mouth, and I bust in the back of ya
Swallow bitch, there's people starving in AfricaDown for the count, get up and dismount
'Cause I'm coming with an endless amount
Of rhymes in a hurry like a flurry
A collage to camouflage the power punch, but don't worry
Knowledge is an antidote, I got hands of smoke
Writing at the speed of light with insight I wrote
Rhymes at a level, so you can't relate
Unless you're intelligent, so stay awake
"Life ain't shit but a fat vagina"
