My Fox News in-laws “revealed” to my wife that I have evil books (I don’t hide them, they’re on the bookshelf) and that I’m probably a communist. She asked “what even is that?” and they didn’t know how to answer.
Does your wife know you’re a communist? No judgement, I only ask because my wife knows I’m vaguely leftist because that’s what I was when we first met (I was a socdem), we never talk politics beyond single issues in the news sometimes because she’s very apolitical, and I’ve only considered myself a commie the last year and a half or so. But I’ve never brought it up to her or anything, and it’s starting to feel weird to me.
Not sure if it helps, but I personally don't think labels matter much unless you are actively organizing. I even have a hot take that one can only be a "communist" if they are a member of an org, otherwise they're functionally a liberal with better than average political views (perhaps they are a Marxist, or align heavily with the views of communist parties idk...).
I just say that to mean that it might not matter in your case, and you can keep talking to your wife about single issues to whatever level she's interested in that conversation. You can just tee it up so that if you ever got involved with an org (where labels start to matter) and she's like "communism? Socialism? What?" You just respond with "yeah they literally agree with all that shit weve talked about over the years". At that point it's just a tap-in instead of a "grand reveal".
I think you can be a communist if you do lone-wolf activism, you're just 99% certain to be an inadequate communist. That said, for distinguishing being a communist from a liberal who likes the consumer-lifestyle aesthetic of "communism", the difference is political action of some kind.