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  • Every single moment of 2024 is going to be worse than 2023. So imagine 2023 again but worse and normie dipshits getting increasingly belligerent and unhinged when any of this is pointed out.

    Cottage cheese-filled pineapples ala Marguerite Patten become a minor trend on Tiktok for a week.

    • Your parents get an unofficial separation but are too poor to actually move out so instead chalk sales go way up as miserable boomers with brains fucked up my extremist gender ideology dived their houses in two. Children kill themselves to avoid serving as the middlemen messenger who have to tell the other parent about which bills haven't been paid.

      • Switch 2 is announced and disappoints as it only does the bare-minimum people expect a console to do. Live-action Zelda trailer drops and people who think video game movies are good defend it using their mental health as a shield.

        A "mysterious" disease colloquially known as super-COVID exists and kills 1-2% of the population. The current vaccinations that are 12.5-25% effective against it and cost $125 will be used to blame the deaths on individuals' financial irresponsibility.

        Mel Gibson denounces NATO and I'm forced to stan and watch the Lethal Weapon films again.

        Edit: Bruce Willis' children speak into his barely-conscious brain via an earpiece to tell people to vote for Biden in a commercial.

    • Fried pineapple? Or uncooked?

    • Look on the upside. It'll be easier then 2025!

  • I’ll probably further my transition, come out to more people, start dressing more femme, and maybe even get my hands on some of the good stuff

  • Russia attempts a large offensive, trying to end the war before spring. The army makes modest gains, then the offensive stalls again. The war continues by January 2025.

    The war in Gaza continues being a meat-grinder with heavy Palestinian, mostly civilian losses and a slow pace of the Israeli offensive. Eventually, a ceasefire happens somewhere in late spring and the situation returns to the pre-October status quo.

    A new round of unrest in Venezuela happens after the election.

    Fascists win a bunch of European elections.

    Some new climate-change related catastrophes happen in both the global north and south, causing unrest and migration in the most affected countries.

    New temperature records and "hottest month in history" happen several times through the year.

    Some old celebrity or person in position of power, say the pope, dies.

    Trump gets blocked from the ballot in multiple states, causing him to drop out of the race and not endorse anyone. Kennedy gets over 10% of the vote. If Biden survives, he wins. Nevertheless, the turnout will drop.

    The bourgeois economies remain afloat, stagnant and sickly, but no crisis yet.

    Right wing terrorism continues to rear its ugly head.

    The UK government doesn't survive until the 2025 election. The Tories go further right, but bootleg Tony Blair wins and changes nothing about the current policies of the United Kingdom... except give more money to cops.

    China and Russia remain stable.

    The left keeps shrinking.

    • Trump gets blocked from the ballot in multiple states, causing him to drop out of the race and not endorse anyone.

      This is so catty and in-character lol

  • Transnistrian international recognition

    New Zealander Civil War breaks out. Peter Jackson is proclaimed dictator for life.

    RFK Jr. wins 80% of the popular vote

    Everyone gets more insane

    Q true identity revealed

    I'll still be alone

    • Q's true identity is whichever CIA agent is in charge of uploading the next Q drop that week.

  • • Lenin awakens from his century long hibernation

    • Alex Jones mocks me by continuing to live

    • The unusual amount of Australia-related foreshadowing in my life pays off

  • Somehow Desantis becomes president because the world hates me.

    U.K bans all pronouns, accidentally makes entire country legally non-binary.

    Hillary Clinton tells centrist republicans to Nintendo Switch 2 voting blue

    Another ship gets stuck in a canal

    Crash Bandicoot movie voiced by Chris Pratt

  • 2024 fanfiction:
    1 Trump goes to jail
    2)Trump wins because he is in jail, and then pardons himself and everyone from jan 6
    2a) PSL candidates win more votes than any communist or socialist has ever won in US history, but still lose handily (oof). Media never mentions it anyway.
    3)Biden dies of natural causes shortly before Election Day. Media pretends it is a great tragedy, but literally nobody cares. He still loses to Trump in jail.
    3a) Kamala is literally a deer in a headlights, immediately defers to Antony Blinken and John Bolton for advice. Decides to bomb a random country.
    4)Trump dies of natural causes within weeks of Biden dying, VP-elect Tom Cotton calls for bombing of Iran, China, and alliance with Russia. Moscow refuses.
    5)Democrats suffer biggest defeat in a generation, but media and politicians refuse to admit it has to do with Palestine. Ignore issue and claim it had to do with border/taxes/left overreach/poor campaigning/debates. Media/pundits decides people wanted to bomb Iran and Biden was too soft.
    6)Ansarallah movement sinks US warship
    7)Liberals start putting yellow ribbons on their cars and calling for national unification in support of the US soldiers against Yemen, even if they don't like Trump (or his VP Cotton)
    8)Israel invades Lebanon, immediately bombs every hospital.
    9)Liberals support move to "eliminate Hezbollah and bring democracy to Lebanon"
    10 Leaked sex tape of Milei with the 6th generation clone of his dog that talks to him. Media is impressed by the level of romance and passion.

    • 2a) PSL candidates win more votes than any communist or socialist has ever won in US history

      Eugene V. Debs got 6,0% for the Socialist Party of America in 1912 - The media would highly likely definitely mention it, and the anticommunist propaganda would be a sight to behold.

      • 2a) PSL candidates win more votes than any communist or socialist has ever won in US history

        This doesn't require 6% of the vote. 5% is probably enough to satisfy the prediction due to population increases.

  • Israeli false flag against a US warship.

    Turkey finally makes a move, butries the hatchet with Syria in solidarity with Palestine, exits NATO in plan to unite the Arab world and recreate the Ottoman Empire to contain Israel.

    Sanctions of choice will drive costs up double digits.

    Economic conditions continue to get drastically worse as technical hyperinflation hits western countries, but the leaders keep insisting everything is fine

    Citi bank major scandal.

    Eurovision interrupted by pro Palestinian activists - repeatedly.

    begins banning opposition parties.

    breaks on live tv in a way that is unsalvageable.

    Assange is a free man.

    In tradition with the ongoing collapse of the UK, Richi Sunak gets booted.

  • Polish right wing starts to vocally call for 'stabilization interventions' in western Ukraine in thin pretext for a repeat of 1919-21, paramilitary factions like Lwów Battalion and Kresy Battalion begin to form

    China acts as mediator for a ceasefire in Gaza, it looks to be successful until a USS Liberty-alike incident escalates the Hezbollah front

    Trump has a major health scare but is miraculously fine within a month

    Milei requests direct US military assistance against 'communist rebels' that don't exist

    Trump confirms the existence of Israel's nukes by mocking their capability in his 'we have the best nukes' speech

    Hillary divorces Bill over the Epstein revelations, and successfully primaries Biden before losing the federal election to Trump as the RODHAM/BLINKEN ticket because some of her faithless electors in states that Trump was barred from running in flip votes to him for the sake of the people's right to choose their fascist dictator

    An F-35 experiences a mechanical failure and crashes over Yemen, US media goes crazy about the threat of China, Russian and Iran getting access to the wreckage

    • Polish right wing starts to vocally call for 'stabilization interventions' in western Ukraine in thin pretext for a repeat of 1919-21, paramilitary factions like Lwów Battalion and Kresy Battalion begin to form

      I am so fucking sick of hearing this to repetition on this website.

      The libs won the election last year. The chance of this happening and having government backing is very low, while adventurists are just gonna get owned very fast (Poland has a very low gun ownership rate, even for European standards). Should the government of Ukraine be close to collapse and NATO send troops to "stabilize the situation" or whatever, it's likelier - but most likely without any territorial exchange. What does Polish Capital need with war-torn, economically weak land, when it can just buy off whatever it needs and pay peanuts to the workforce of a country adopting neoliberal dogma of ever-lesser regulation to regain economic growth?

      And, like I keep saying like a broken record, revanchist nationalism is fringe even among the far-right.

  • US goes full on mask off, cast away what little trappings and illusions it had of its silly baby lib democracy pandering, and possibly seriously starts Balkanizing beyond that red-blue thing. Even the most ostrich head in sand former US-educated petite-bourgeois PMC historian would admit 'yep, 2024 is when it all went down for real'.

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