I know it's one of you guys

I know it's a joke but if this was a man posting a dildo with the same text he'd get flamed
- If it was a bar of soap moulded into a cock though we'd probably be seeing a pretty similar post
  
  Rubbing soap on your dick is safe though.
  Sticking soap up your snizz is how you get an infection.
  
  It would be pretty impressive, though.
  
  Dildo shampoo bottles are relatively commonplace though.
- Idk man, fucking a bar of soap, clearly on the reg , and leaving it for the world to see is a bit different. Plus I feel like most dildo users have the presence of mind to put that shit up when they're done.
  
  My ex would disagree as she'd leave hers lying out even when we had company over.
  We were both also very mental unwell so that could be a part of it
  
  That was made that way for the joke. How would you even begin fucking a flat bar of soap? Even pre-drilled, it would wear out too fast to be any fun.
  Don't use conditioner guys!!!
  For the 4th time (I'm an idiot) I got serious dick issues. Don't know if it dries the skin out or what, but the end gets hypersensitive, turns dark red, skin turns black and peels off, hurts like hell, and then you get nice, new pink skin. It's painful and revolting and takes about a week for the whole process.
  Thought was just me until I saw a reddit post a few months back. LOTS of dudes experiencing the same exact thing.
  Don't use conditioner guys!!!
  
  When my sister and I lived with my parents our shower broke for a bit so we had to use my parents' shower for a few days. Guess who forgot to take their dildo out of there.... It was my sister not me but lucky for her and unlucky for me, my parents never clarified so they'll just think what they will.
- If this were a woman posting a dildo she’d get flamed. Use sex toys all you want, but don’t fuck soap, it’s ironically unsanitary
  
  I've covered that aspect already in other comment chains.
  Also this picture is clearly a joke. You wouldn't be able to actually use that to masturbate as the hole would grow rapidly. You'd have to lather your hands first using either bar or liquid soap.
  Yeah jamming your dick into a solid bar of soap is gonna cause a lot of issues. The one I'd imagine being the first to worry about is your dick getting bruised cause bar soap ain't exactly soft
- A shower dildo left there to be found? No.. that'd be fuckin weird too
- If it was a dildo sculpted out of soap, we'd have the exact same replies as here.

Stupid. This dude has the cleanest dick in the country.
"Eew this penis is too clean to go inside my body" that's what this whiny bitch sounds like.
No, they totally SHOULD leave. They are clearly too filthy for this CLEAN KING.
- "yeah baby you like my baby smooth dick?"
- CLEAN KINGS RISE UP.
  YOU DROPPED THIS KING 👑 🧼 👀
  
  Implication: dropped soap
  Implication: you picked it up
  Implication: and you did it for him
  B A S E D

Hey, at least you can be sure it's clean.

He'd end up disappointed that her pussy doesn't bubble during sex, anyway.
- Is it... not supposed to?
  
  Whoever your point of reference is, tell them to go to the doctor.

Because real men wait until marriage to masturbate
- I mean, it just never occured to me to drill a hole in a bar of soap, lotion and Palmela Handerson work just fine.
  
  That's funny. We say Manuela in Spanish because "mano" means hand
- Made me lol 😆

That’s just a handhold so you don’t drop it

Mmm, soapussy ...
- We live in a societussy
  
  What a terrible day to have eyes

“It's a part of me and I can wash it however fast I like!"
- Or long... Or hard... 😏

How else are you suppose to clean it?

Look, if there’s a more subtle cock soap, I’m all ears.
- If you're all ears, how would you propose to use the soap?
  
  Perhaps he’s Ferengi?
  
  You don’t have to propose, you can just keep it casual.

I didn't know that was an option.

Chill he was just blowing bubbles
- He also knows Bubbles? Small world!
  
  Hi, I'm Bubbles.

At least it's clean.

Don't kink shame.
- Soapysexuals are people too.

Soap is abrasive. His dick fucked up.
- You're using the wrong soap in your shower
- It's not that it's abrasive, though some soaps do have abrasives in them for "exfoliation" and that is also bad for the dick. The problem is that it strips all the oils from your skin, and oil is what keeps skin stretchy. You fuck a bar of soap (or use soap as lube, whatever) it'll strip all the oils off your genitals and then the minute the skin goes to stretch (like if you're fucking, or masturbating, or get aroused) - RRRRIPPPP, microtears and friction burns everywhere.