I've seen this dual-life . You are struggling and no one helps you. You learn all the skills to help yourself. Now you know what you need and... you can't give it to yourself. Someone else needs to understand you too.
Now you know what you need and… you can’t give it to yourself
I still get stuck here sometimes, but I have to say this got better for me with age and effort (as in, introspection, therapy, etc). I recognized that for me, it was partially executive dysfunction and partially trauma symptoms. The former was addressed with medicine and creating systems (which i would not be able to do without the medicine), and the latter is still being addressed and will probably be a lifelong journey.
Sorry, I'm rambling here - what you said brought up a lot.
When it comes to tidyness, specifically in my case my room is immaculate (usually). The rest of my apartment looks like shit. I can only clean up after the other 2 people I live with so much before I just can't take it anymore. It's their fucking mess. They should grow the fuck up and pick up after themselves.
I don't need them to understand me. I need them to help take care of the place and stop only contributing to fucking it up.
I feel you. My office is neat and organized, because there is a lock on the door. The rest of my house is a fucking nightmare because my wife and son destroy it on a daily basis and rarely do anything about it and I’ve burnt out on doing it all myself. So my office is my neat happy place and they can wallow in the rest of the house
Yeah my wife has diagnosed OCD and if it cant be instagram perfect, whats the point? So I exist in a house that looks like earth in Wall-e because she knows where everything is and in what layer of what pile and if I move it I'm a colossal asshole.
I literally kept a better house when I was an alcoholic shift working single 20 something and she cant fathom why I become a moody asshole living like this.
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coffeeseed
God, I can't tell you enough how much the "there's not enough enrichment in my enclosure" joke has helped my mental health. Because, for some reason I can't comprehend, pretending that I'm a zoo keeper caring for an animal (which is also me) just makes everything easier to comprehend. Like "Your head gets screwey when you're apartment is messy" just doesn't carry as much resonance as "The tiger becomes agitated when its enclosure is cluttered" because then I'll be like, no shit? The tiger? I've gotta keep things nice and clean for the tiger.
This is more or less something I am actively trying. I just read Convenience Store Woman, and the way the main character/narrator thinks and talks about herself and her convenience store is very similar to how I think of myself and my dispensary. Tbh, I don't know if I've ever identified with a character more than Keiko. So I've decided to become the creature known as a dispensary worker. I have to take care of myself so I can be a good dispensary worker. I have to keep my life in order for the dispensary. It's very important to me, and I'm very important there.
I only just started thinking this way, but so far I'm encouraged. I didn't end the day so hungry it was hard to count money tonight. I made myself eat so I would have focus and energy to close. 2023 was a year of wild change, almost all for the better. In 2024, I'm going to stay right where I am and learn to listen to the voice of the dispensary <3
I love this post so much. I don't even know how to explain it, but it made me feel like I just drank a warm cup of tea and I'm brewing a second one, smiling in anticipation. 2024 will be a good year.
This sounds REALLY good. Is there a name for this technique? Cognitive behavioral roleplay? Fantasy-sewn self-care? 😅
I mean this is an obvious life hack, and a quite strong one. It's similar to how the japanese think and talk of themself in third-person view.
Your apartment must be as messy as your grammar.
edit: sorry, that was supposed to be a bad joke about the "you're apartment" in the post.
...It's concerning how juvenile and immature adults are becoming. If you have to pretend to be a tiger in order to clean your fucking apartment as a grown ass woman, something went seriously wrong with your development. Get off the internet and grow up.
This is not the place for you then.
It's like as though autism and ADHD are developmental disabilities. Oh no, who would have thought.
And we aren't even scratching the surface on the societal pressures on women 🙄
"This is how I deal with my developmental disorders!"
"You must have a developmental disorder!"
Real Sherlock this one. What mysteries will they solve in their next caper? Tune in to find out! marks it on the calendar none of us remember to check
Lol fuck off grandpa
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this is why we can't have nice things. artificial scarcity, artificial hurt. take it to your grave please.
