How I (US) make tea when my British friend comes over to visit

Excellent work you horrible person
- I'm ngl I have tea semi regularly, and I put the teabag in with the water to the microwave. The method works, I don't see the problem.
  
  Firstly, does the water not go all weird and frothy? Secondly, burn the heretic!

This is exactly why we didn't want you to have independence. You clearly weren't ready. I mean the whole Trump issue was one thing, but this... This is just monstrous.
- Tbf you did have King George.
  
  Can't believe you didn't want to be governed by a guy called "Mad King George"
  
  They’ve had three new prime ministers since you made this comment.
- Don't throw that stone too hard, after BoJo.
  
  Bojo was no where near djt levels of messed up. Bad but not as bad.
- You people drink instant coffee. We are not the monsters here.
  
  I’m genuinely unsure if drip coffee is better than instant.

I'm Canadian and we have a long heritage with English things .... especially tea. But our brothers and sisters are American so we have a lot of overlap in our culture.
I grew up in northern Ontario in an indigenous community. Mom and dad were traditional people who were born and raised in the bush. They lived on your old English black tea. We treated it like a survival food and basically cooked it like it was coffee. All my life tea was made by boiling water in a large metal 4 litre tea pot and once there was a rolling boil, you dropped in eight tea bags and let it bubble for a minute until it all turned into a deep reddish liquid. The best tea was always in the first half an hour, after that it was like drinking a really strong coffee.
I drank that from the time I was a baby ... really! I remember seeing mom fill a baby bottle with warm tea, canned milk and a bit of sugar and feed it to my baby brothers. I assume she did the same to me.
Once I started living away from home, I drank less tea and more coffee. But I always love my black tea.
Never order it in a restaurant in Canada. Half the time a cheap little restaurant will just use hot tap water and drop the shittiest tea bag thats been sitting on the shelf for years to make your brew.
The only public place to get good tea is at Tim Hortons, the Canadian coffee chain. They actually make the kind of tea I grew up with, really strong brewed tea that is kept fresh regularly. Their coffee is shit but their tea is excellent .... at least to me.
- Thanks for sharing your story. I bet that tea your parents made was also useful for a lot of things. Did they ever make you run on a treadmill afterwards to power a generator?
  
  As a kid, me and every kid around me in the same situation probably drove our teachers insane .... I feel terribly for them when I think about it now. But in the summer time when we were off school, I'd wake up drink a cup of tea, eat some toast and then spend the entire day outside, rain or shine. Starting when I was about seven or eight I'd spend the day on my own. We were surrounded by family so there was never a problem. I'd come home for more tea and supper was always at six, eat for ten minutes and head out again until the sun went down. We have freezing Arctic winters here between the great lakes and Hudson Bay but as a little kid, my parents thought it was normal to just give me a light parka and let me play outside with my friends for hours. I remember being about 11 or 12 and wandering away into the bush in minus 20 degree weather an hour from home with my friends just to say we could do it.
  Always made our way back to the house for another cup of tea. That energy drink is basically what powered most of my life. I didn't have a treadmill but I probably traveled thousands of kilometers because of this drink.
  Tea .... I'm probably 50% tea at this point in my life ... I've been drinking it since the day I was born.
- Similar fond memories of growing up straddling English and American traditions on the wet Westcoast with English and Swedish grandparents.
  My grandfather always had coffee brewing on the wood cookstove in his cabin. It was a metal 2 piece drip system. Always adding more hot water to the top as the day progressed. Like your example the first cups are the strongest. They had those white rogers sugar cubes and canned condensed milk from Pacific as creamer. Us grandkids would be bouncing off the walls from the caffeine and massive amounts of sugar most of the day.
  Then at night with dinner it was Orange Pekoe tea with milk to finish the day. I'm surprised we got any sleep to be honest looking back on it.
  Now living close to the US border I sometimes forget when I'm south tea is not such a normal thing in a restaurant and I get odd looks from those when ordering it. Usually they are the kind of place that serves Coke with breakfast though so I'm already in the wrong place for tea as it is.
  For me Tea is the only thing I get from Tim's too in the way of a London Fog. When it comes to Coffee Canadian McDonalds is my way to go. US McDonald's coffee is something else terribly not enjoyable.
- Im not a black tea drinker, Liptons was black tea growing up in the US and I did not like it. It is fine for sun/ice tea but still not my thing. But I visited Ireland and was exposed to Berry's and I have to say that stuff is fantastic! But 2 minutes seeping is all it needs or else it gets bitter.
  I visited a Tim Horton's for the first time recently. It was in downtown Victoria and I have to say that it was an experience... Not a good one but at least I can say I have done it.
  
  I have to say Tim Hortons has slipped. I've been in better versions of Tim's in New York state where they are a little more like a mini cafeteria than the high traffic flow models the Canadian ones have become. At some point McDonald's Canada took over coffee supply from Tim's. Not sure who they are but Tim's new coffee is not my cup of tea

Well, the US once made the biggest cup of tea in history.
A whole harbor.
- Americans make the worst tea. Cold and salty.
  
  Cold and salty.
  Sounds suitably British.
- Now THAT was a wild party!
  
  I doubt it, but now I wonder what the biggest amount of tea that ended up in the ocean is and how to search for it. I know whole ships were lost, but digging through manifests (assuming they exist) wouldn't be fun. I also wonder how many in Asia there would have been, possibly before tea even gained popularity in the west.

I prefer to use one of my well-used coffee mugs. The one that's heavily stained and makes everything taste like coffee no matter how many times you wash it.

Why did you forget to open the tea bag?

It's a bit wet without a biscuit served. I suggest a rich tea or custard cream. If you can't get those in the US, any of your weird ass deviant cookies will do.
- Animal crackers with spray cheese it is
  
  Actually we can use the spray cheese to top the tea like it's a Starbucks Frappuccino or something
- We put our biscuits in gravy, hee-yuk!
- ass deviant cookies are best cookies
- we get our tea from beans, we get our cookies from beans, and GODDAMIT some of us get our milk and sugar from beans too.
  It's the American way.
- do you dunk it in after or place it in the mug and pour the water in?
  
  Seeing as you know we call it dunking, not dipping, I suspect you're actually British.

To be fair it's better than my process for making tea for myself.
Tea bag, sugar, cold water all go into a mug and into the microwave for three minutes. I forget about it for roughly an hour, then drink it as is.
- That's not tea. That's an insult to those who came before us.
- You could give it another short spin after the hour has passed.
  What I usually do (for ~4 cups) is boiling 1,1 liters of water in a kettle, filling a teabag with 3-4 teaspoons of tea, rinsing the thermo bottle with the 0,1 liter of water, brewing the tea, then forgetting about it for 15-30 min, suddenly exclaiming "Oh, the tea!" (but in my own language) which, to me at least, is funny because (short story long) I once ordered a bunch of free Christian bumper stickers online, which I, long ago, before I even had this habit of forgetting the brewing bottle, had cut out into different words and letters of said christian bumper stickers and stuck onto the thermo bottle, reading (exactly) "Oh, the tea!".
  On a sidenote, no matter how long I usually forget it while it's brewing, it's always still too hot - and even never too strong. Pure Earl Grey - no milk, no sugar!

This all sounds about right, except maybe wiping your unwashed genitals around the rim of the cup before you start. Other than that, spot on.
- What better way to start off the day than getting your eight essential vitamins on.

Fucking hell, mate. Always put the water in the mug before the tea bag.
- What difference does that make?
  
  I find it makes the tea slightly weaker. It sometimes gets too strong too quickly when very hot water is poured directly on the tea bag.
- Next you'll tell me I'm supposed to but the milk in the bowl before the crumpets. Why I never!
  
  Just make sure your clotted cream is on your spotted dick first then the baked beans, not the other way around! Unless you're in Rickmansworth in which case your clotted cream goes on your black pudding after your mushy peas.
- Wait, I've always put the teabag in first.
  
  Teabag in, set cups aura, teabag out, water in, teabag in
- No
- Is that because it cools enough to not scorch the tea? I always add tea last, even for a gallon of iced tea, it does seem to taste better; and I never press out the bags into anything other than the sink or my lantana.

I just serve them yerba matte and watch them get dialed to eleven.

That is only a bit worse than what British people do with their tea. OK, theirs is reasonably fresh, but they let the teabag sit in the pot for ages and they commit the serious, undefendable crime of adding milk.
- Watch it. Builder's tea is the literal backbone of the British economy.
  Oh, wait.
- Milk in Earl grey with honey is just amazing
  
  You drown the flavour of the bergamote oil with the honey, and kill off most of the beneficient ingredients of the tea with the milk. What's the point in using a tea bag in the first place?
- Milk only belongs in chai tea
  
  Chai literally means tea. So chai tea is tea tea. It's like pizza pie or ATM machine.
  
  Chia .... tea. Chia .... tea.
  
  What about boba? Although I guess that's arguably tea in milk, rather than milk in tea.
- Hungary?

Step 1: Brew coffee. Step 2: Drink coffee.
- Girl coffee is even more extra with the drip, espresso, French press, cold brew etc not to mention the different names for just how much milk or water is there.

That's some nice hot leaf juice you've got there.
- How could a member of my own family say something so horrible?
- I prefer to get my morning zoomies from hot bean juice

Fake Pyrex as well
- That new age dog shit "pyrex" is the worst
  
  That’s because Pyrex sold pyrex. There’s a difference between the capital and lowercase “p.” Actual Pyrex with the capital “P” is supposedly the original quality. Anchor Hocking is like pyrex, lowercase.

You know we should have just told you people we'd discovered America, and then closed all the ports once you'd gone.
- Americans treating tea with disrespect to rustle British jimmies is a time honored tradition ever since the Boston Tea Party.

Ewww fake pyrex
- We lost our smaller measuring cup in the move, so one of my first purchases when I got my first job was a pyrex measuring cup. I learned the hard way that the only thing pyrex about it is the logo
  
  Heh, no worries, I just wanted to spread awareness about this issue in a cheeky way ! Though it does legitimately feels weird seeing these as a European because we only get the "real" ones here.
- Fake pyrex? Thats a thing?
  
  "True" Pyrex is made of borosilicate glass and is very resistant to changes in temperature, making it excellent for lab or kitchen use. You can tell when it's "true" Pyrex if the lettering is in all caps. If it's not, it's just regular glass.
  
  I could swear I bought a Pyrex measuring cup. It has the red lettering and measurements just like a Pyrex. It's called Anchor Cooking!

Also, make sure to ask "Fancy a cup of?" with extra emphasis on "of". It is a classic British phrase
- I feel like I need to hear a recording of this
- I think another proper word/phrase is "fancy a cuppa"
  
  You must be "having a laugh" as they say! I'm 1000% sure it's "cup of"
  
  I thought that was Aussie lingo.

You sir, are a bounder.
- Responded to the wrong post. Oops!

I'd personally would appreciate all the effort even if it wasn't right. I'd drink it to be polite, I don't usually drink tea.

Meh, I've had worse.

Also just leave the tea bag in the tea. How else will anyone know what you're drinking!

Someone call the ICC. This is a crime against humanity.

How to make Southern (US) sweet tea: put about a quart of water in a saucepan, plus 4 cups of sugar and the number of Orange Pekoe teabags you would use to make a gallon (for me it's about 8 normal or 4 family-sized). Bring to a boil and immediately remove from heat. Steep 2-3 minutes. Remove bags and stir to make sure sugar is dissolved. Fill a gallon container with ice. Pour the hot tea over ice and add cold water to fill up. Serve over more ice.
- Gross...
  I'm also from the South.
  The recipe I grew up on (thanks to my Mom) is half as many tea bags and a quarter as much sugar and it's delicious.
  Hell, you're using twice as much sugar as McDonald's does in their sweet tea.
  That's excessive, amigo.
  
  Also, be sure to use Lipton (which is orange pekoe but so are some other brands so specificity helps)... Anything else is subpar for sweet tea (iced Southern US style).

- Heating up food using microwaves does exactly that. It works because the waves are emitted within a certain frequency range that affects the water content within it, from which the heat spreads to the rest of the food over time.
- Sometimes you can superheat water in the microwave that explodes when taken out scalding you in the process. Fun science experiment.

Do Brits really never drink coffee? I have both
- I'm British and I only drink coffee, but I don't meet many other people who do. Gotta bear in mind that most people only drink either disgusting freeze-dried instant coffee, or posh boutique coffee from, at worst, Starbucks and, at best, a decent independent coffee place.
  
  Uncouth wretches. I get mine from the gas station!
- Watching Sorted Food (London based food channel on YouTube) it does seem that some Brits enjoy both or one over the other. The majority seem to drink just tea, the next group enjoys both but for different events, and the smallest group is coffee only.
  For the middle group it's people who have coffee in the morning and tea at noon/afternoon.

Ok honest question. Do Brits only let the tea soak for like 2-5 minutes? I always let it soak for longer, like 15 minutes otherwise I think it just doesn't taste as good.
Edit: I probably should have clarified that, when I say 15 minutes, I was thinking about teabags. I only use teabags for stuff like lavender tea etc. Also I would never let black tea soak for 15 minutes, I've accidentally been there. Can't recommend it.
- For a cup of English breakfast tea 15 minutes is way too long, it'll oversteep and become bitter
- tea bags, which are casual, 3 minutes.
  if you're steeping tea leaves and you care about it, teas have different steeping times
  same as going for a jog vs being an ultramarathon runner
  or painting a wall vs building a houses for a living
  it's about whether you care about the process or want a quick solution
- American here. 15 minutes is a wild amount of time to have your tea steeping before drinking, not least of which because it's probably too cold by then! If anyone finds all tea too bitter, or has to add a ton of sugar and milk, it's because it's a quick beverage, not a potion or a science experiment...
- Teabag tea is cut up much much finer than looseleaf tea. Whereas looseleaf is identifiable bits of leaf, the stuff in teabags is ground up into a powder. They do this deliberately so that it will brew more quickly, and a good cup normally takes 3-5 minutes.
  Looseleaf tea takes longer to brew, which is why you can brew a big pot, pour and drink one cup, and then come back for a second that's been sat on the leaves without it tasting like industrial chemicals.
- I'm from the US so maybe not what you're looking for, but for black tea you need a few things:
  212° water (freedom units) - must be boiling, not boiled-then-left-to-cool. I use an electric kettle. If your water isn't hot enough your tea won't steep effectively.
  Decent tea. If you're steeping 15 minutes you might be drinking cheap tea made with fannings (essentially the tea dust that's left over after the better quality products have been packaged). I drink Yorkshire Gold but this is a matter of preference.
  Milk and sugar to taste, but these should complement the tea. Tea should be the predominant flavor, it shouldn't just taste like milk or sugar.
  Here's what you do:
  Heat the water to a rolling boil.
  While the water is still boiling, pour over the teabag. Pour slowly enough that you don't rupture the bag.
  Steep for 5 minutes.
  Remove the teabag. Don't squeeze it out - this releases more tannins and your brew will be more bitter.
  (CONTROVERSIAL!) Add milk and sugar. Some people will tell you milk goes in first. These people are wrong.
  Some people will talk at you about teapots and patinas but honestly if you're an infrequent tea drinker it's not worth bothering with.
  Signed - an American anxiously awaiting all the UKians who will tell me I'm doing it wrong.
  
  Pour slowly enough that you don't rupture the bag.
  Are your friends firing the water into the cup with a pressure washer?
  
  Don't use boiling water. 195-205F for black tea. Brew time typically varies by preference from 3-4 minutes, but 5 isn't terrible.
  
  My last couple of electric kettles had various levels for coffee, black tea, herbal tea and then the roaring boil of the 212 of your freedom units. I suspect the roaring is due to all of the freedom.
  I'm surprised the coffee setting is so low compared to the teas.
  I've never really paid attention to how longto leave a tea bag in. Usually it's stayed in the whole time while drinking it. Recently I've started to read the boxes the tea comes in and Earl Grey is like 3 minutes depending on the brand and herbal is 5-10.
  As for number 5 I've read back when China was becoming more common place it was almost a caste level nod if you put your milk in first or last.
  Early cheaper China would crack or break from hot water/tea being poured directly into the cup first. Placing the milk in first helped cover up this flaw by cooling down the tea.
  Pouring your hot tea directly into your cups without the milk first was a subtle flex of your superior China quality. I do miss some of this nuance in a world that's seems to be on full blast most of the time.
  
  I don't give a shit about patinas and just use a French press I got from Ikea. But I do have a programmable kettle set to 70 or 80 °C, virtually only use loose leaf green and oolong teas, and steep two minutes for the first steeping and 90 seconds for each subsequent one. (For black tea I just crank the temperature to boiling and keep everything else the same.)
  That probably makes me snobbish enough to confuse people who don't drink tea but amateurish enough to annoy the snobs.
  In the end any approach is fine as long as you like the result.
  
  Yorkshire Gold FTW
- You're getting very bitter tea letting it steep that long.
  
  I remember hearing an American discovering that they shouldn't just leave the bag in the tea. They were wondering how anyone even likes tea since it is so bitter lol
- Jesus Christ
- I think the issue is not the fact that it's a teabag, it's the lavender part. If you're having fancy tea then you leave it in much longer, if you're having normal tea then 15 minutes is as heretical as the OP!
- Different ways for different people.

Sandra get me red coat it's back on!

Ten minutes? Bloody hell!
Four is about all it takes for most tea. You go longer, you're just getting the bitter parts

I hope people know it's extremely dangerous to microwave water :x
Good way to end up in the hospital room.
- Not sure why the down votes but yes exploding hot water from a microwave is not a good time.
  I generally don't use a microwave but a sauce pan on the stove or a electric kettle is the safer way to boil water. There are other things one can do to make microwaved water safer though...
  https://www.thekitchn.com/fact-or-fiction-exploding-wate-109388
- I’ve actually never heard this before. Is it specifically just water? Sometimes I microwave my coffee
  
  Water becomes super heated and the steam held in by surface tension.(Iirc) I assume anything with enough water content and no way to relieve the bubbles can experience this. But I don't know for sure.
- Not if you stir it with a chopstick to make sure you release any bubble explosions.
  Source: I nuke my coffee water every morning
  
  Youd have to keep stopping and stirring it over and over, I'd rather just use an electric kettle.
- I've been boiling water in the microwave for decades, the only dangerous thing about it is that it is hot like any boiling water. It's also quick, efficient, doesn't pollute your home like a gas stove, can be left on its own without fire hazard, and boil time is incredibly consistent.
  Electric kettles are probably the best option, but a microwave is the second best option.
  
  There is a random phenomina called "bumping" that occurs with heated up fluids in any form of smooth/glass container.
  As you heat up the fluid, it can actually not go through its phase change to gas if it doesnt have a catalyst point to start off of. If the container is too smooth, it doesnt turn into a gas (yet)
  When you introduce any kind of rough material or expose it to moving air, or literally just agitate it a bit... like say dip a spoon in, or shake it a bit, or stir it, or your hand isnt steady, suddenly a lot of the fluid, all at once, turns to a gas as it is in an unstable state.
  What happens is very abruptly all the force of the boiling water happens very suddenly all at once, and the water explodes. Typically if its pretty hot this shatters the container, blows the water all over the place, and it's all boiling hot and can cause first and second degree burns.
  Its a common problem, if you google it you can find videos of people demo'ing the phenomina.
  If you have ever seen those videos where a water bottle is carefully "frozen" but still liquid, and the person smacks it and the entire thing very suddenly freezes all at once, its the exact same effect but instead of all of it freezing at once, all of it boils at once.
  Mythbusters did an episode on this one and was able to very reliably reproduce the effect.
- No for real, most folks don't know that. It's very dangerous. Probably easier to boil in a pan on the stove.
  
  It's not dangerous at all, superheating is rarely a thing and you can avoid it in a multitude of ways including slapping a spoon in your cup
  If you're talking about the microwave somehow doing something to the water to make it irradiated or something (which I've also seen claimed): no