A small indoor cactus found clinging to life was reportedly facing conditions worse than the actual desert, experts say.

“Cacti is consistently ranked as one of the easiest indoor plants to keep alive,” says botanist Dr. Joseph Graham. “Their low-maintenance and resilient nature make them a perfect choice for beginners, kids, and dumb dumbs. But it’s clear that this particular cactus would have been better off in the harsh, barren, 40 degree desert where it would have at least received a few pathetic drops of water a year than in this suburban home with access to full resources.”

The doomed plant – afflicted with root rot, yellowed spines, and ennui – was left for dead in an unventilated, windowless bathroom. It sat in a decorative pot without drainage, its frayed little plant tag still standing with care instructions begging to be read. The plant’s air quality conditions were determined to be highly toxic due to its location – that being directly atop the toilet tank and below a Febreze plug in. [...]