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The Picard Maneuver @lemmy.world

2mo ago

They're here to save your soul

ExMormon @lemmy.world

wjrii @lemmy.world

2mo ago

They're here to save your soul (XPost)

110 comments

Nah. They're shopping for a third.
- More specifically, a handmaid.
  
  What type of... handjobs?
  
  ...may the lord open
- Nah, they're Mormons. They're actually this crazy
Spencer definitely wants to film his wife being nailed by another man
- He wants to be the one to jump on the bed.
  
  We can only assume that if soaking isn't premarital sex, then it can't be extramarital sex either.
- Good for Spencer.
- Don't we all?
- Maybe Spencer wants her to film him getting the nailing
  
  hey bi switch vers people exist yannow
I'll go to your church, you come to my orgy. Fair is fair, right?
- Imagine the uproar if you went to a church and said "you're so prudish, you need to fuck more, come to Tinder."
- Joseph Smith: "No need to make them exclusive."
- Oh sweet summer child.
  The church IS the orgy. Now here, have some Kool aid, we're going to see the face of God together.
  
  Liar, this is Flavor Aid.
  
  I'd love an orgy, but not with little boys.
  I'll pass.
Ah yes because Jesus was known for his condescending, judgmental attitudes against others.
- Is Jesus God? Because God had some pretty shitty things to say about women and gay folk. 🤷‍♂️
  
  that would be an ecumenical matter
  
  The Old Testament, to me at least, is essentially worthless. It has likely been mistranslated and misinterpreted over the many, many centuries of its existence to the point where its original meaning (if it had any in the first place) is gone.
  The NT is at least more readable and contains quite a bit of wisdom. Message is pretty simple: essentially, love and forgive others. Which we could all do more of, especially in this day and age.
  What I don’t necessarily agree with is needing obedience to a central dogma or organized religion…I think the only thing that matters is how you live your life and treat others. Doesn’t matter the religion, or lack of religion. We are all equal.
  
  That's the thing about Jesus. He was sent to earth to finally be nice to humans by his vengeful, controlling father, as a gesture of reconciliation.
  
  Yeah but kids are often more progressive than the parents
- Thank you, Internet.
- Now there's a brand new sentence (probably)
  
  nah I bet you could find a dozen death metal bands with that as the lyrics
- The church I grew up believed in immersion, not sprinkling. It's not a no, but it's gonna be more difficult.
  
  I am church contracted cum supplier, noseplugs sold separately
- What the fuck
If I saw this in the wild, I'd immediately hire the most attractive single person I could find to reply to this ad, go to church with them, and low-key try to have sex with either/both of them on the side
- I've found Bible Satan.
  
  If that's me, I hope it pays better than my current job...
my partner and I did some butthole fingering at midnight up against a church the year we started dating
we’ve been together for 13 years
thank you jesus
- My first time was while vandalizing a church. Yeah it was pretty great. Be this couple's unicorn.
- It's called the loophole!
  
  If the loophole works it means God is okay with gay sex
Weird way of looking for a threesome with another threesome but okay.
- "Come with us!"
The sound like the second most insufferable couple ever, right after the couple that is going through a very public breakup right now.
Would. Both of them.
- The only correct response
- “Come with us”
But you guys will put out after Church, right?
- They did don some crazy underwear in anticipation of the event. Also, polyamory is definitely on the table if they're true to their founder's beliefs and actions.
  
  Don't sully polyamory with the misogyny that is polygamy. They want multiple wives to have multiple women to control
*this is a real offer to cum with us!!
- With Jesus' little extra
I'm willing to go to church on her, not interested in the guy though
- Give him a chance. He just wants to watch.
  
  Fine by me, I'll teach him a few things like finding the clitoris
- As long as you only soak it, he won't be able to object.
i dont care if you call him "little extra jesus", spencer, PUT HIM AWAY IN CHURCH
Cum with us!
No thanks, Satan gave me a good deal for mine.
Disgusting.
- I've got nothing against their kind per se, but do they have to shove it down our throats?
  
  Kinda. The most powerful, fastest growing and largest religions seem to depend on aggressive proselytizing.
The problem is they are Mormon so they can’t save your soul
- I don't know. There's got to be at least one decent Morman cobbler.
  
  Cobblers deal with soles not souls
  
  Meh, they are mediocre pastry chefs. Their venison stews are pretty good, though.
- GOBBLE GOBBLE? What is wrong with these subtitles. GABBA GABBA WE ACCEPT YOU! ONE OF US!
  
  I was not prepared for that camera pan
- Talisien's take on being a Rod Serling stand in was peak.
  
  100%. Taliesin is a true joy to behold in every single regard. Love that man.
- JOIN US
  ESS
Hey, no kink shaming.
Look, we’re all looking for a unicorn. This seems like one of the least effective ways to do it.
- Counterpoint: Unicorns famously love virgins
If you are young enough, church and tinder end up serving the same use so the concept isn't that crazy.
Lol, they are looking for at least a third (at the mildest kink), no preferences on the gender.
What is it with Mormons and the name Becca? If I count all the Mormon Beccas I've met, then counted this girl, she wouldn't even be on counted on my hands.
- Rebecca is a beautiful name IMO, but it's jewish (like etymologically) right?
  
  Yeah, it's from the Torah or Old Testament and is the name of Isaac's wife. The name itself comes from the Hebrew for "to tie firmly" or "to bind."
  
  Idk if any of them have had the full name, just lots of Beccas. You'll also note that any Hebrew name that also appears in the old testament (Noah in particular) are popular Christian names.
Becca and Spencer and some faint gray streaks on white background.
They both have different right and left hand. It's creepy as fuck.
- what
  
  look how her right wrist is unnaturally curved to hold him and the proportions where their arms are if they are the same length ? It's photoshop.
- I get AI vibes tbh. This may just a fake account for comedy.
  
  The meme is at least 4 years old. It's not AI. Obviously it's a joke account https://www.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/qkkshh/becca_and_spencer_into_that_holey_tinder_scene/
Hey, man. I'd bang your wife if you'd let me. You seem like you might have some kinks.

110 comments