What was sexual education like for you?
What was sexual education like for you?
What was sexual education like for you?
USA, Catholic school - Sex Ed was nonexistent
Lots of info about STDs and several instances of putting condoms on a banana. I actually learned more in biology and real life experience than in sex ed.
In elementary/middle school at a small Catholic school in a progressive major North American city, it was a week or two where we got some workbooks and were separated by sex (this was as gender discussions were beginning to hit the mainstream). They were fine, they were certainly informative and educational and didn't lie. I do recall them focusing on abstinence but it was mostly about the biology and family planning iirc.
I then went to the largest public high school in my city. Freshman year we had a health class and an entire unit was focused on sexual health. We learned about different contraceptive methods and their efficacy, STIs (had to do group presentations on them), the biology and in/outs of reproduction, sexual and gender orientation (iirc), the legality of things and actions and some stuff about consent (as a kink practitioner and queer person, I would've liked more but it's probably a lot more than most have ever learned about consent), and things along those lines. We were also given resources and our teacher was super nice and helpful about this stuff.
We also learned about drugs, the different types of drugs, their effects, withdrawals, and risks. It was municipally mandated, if not state mandated, educational content so it was standardized at least across the city, but I kinda doubt it's taught as equitably as it was in my high school. But it was incredibly comprehensive and extremely educational. While I still made a lot of mistakes as a dumb horny teenager, did things i shouldn't have, and got hurt/hurt people by being a dumb horny teenager (no SA/SH), it prepared me very well for my experiences and set me up to be the safe and respectful person I am today (who knows how to safely disrespect you when you ask nicely <3)
In Scotland we had a VHS the class watched when we were 9/10 which had a basic diagram of intercourse. The voiceover said, "Note how they fit together, like a jigsaw puzzle."
Seared into my brain. I remember asking if the sperm from the video "could think" like tadpoles did. Never got a proper answer!
Then secondary school had lessons about the reproductive cycle in mandatory biology class. Slightly later, when we were 14 or so, they had demonstrations about how to put on condoms.
Edit: btw does anyone know if sperm can think? k thanks
There was a bit at 3rd grade "difference between boys and girls and where babys come from" (no no sex talk)
In 5th grade I was absent in hospital but in 5th grade you learn sexual biologie, contraceptions, menstruation, puberty and i think STDs. When i got back from hospital it was mid way into the lessons about female genitalia and tampons so i didnt learn it from school but from books at home. I dont know if they talked about different sexualitys existing, if not this needs to change.
7th grade has puberty and hormones, genetics, pregnacy and birth.
I dont know what it was in 9th grade but there defenetly was also something that could fall under 'sex ed".
It always was open, no shaming and professional
Germany Bavaria. It is manditory and you cant take your child out of those classes because its part of the regular biologie class
Maryland early 2000s. We had a real health teacher. It was pretty clinical and factual for the most part. The only thing that really stood out was the teacher telling us that peeing killed any sperm left in the urethra and a kid asking if he could "piss in his woman and not wear a condom." This poor old teacher has to say "Do not piss in your woman."
Only what was on the biology national exam spec. Lots of hormone cycles of FSH and lutenising hormone, literally nothing outside the cervix.
I'm in Finland, in my 40s. I don't remember much. I think in the early teens we did have lessons in school about sex and reproductive biology. What I do remember is the "real" sex education stuff around 15-16 years of age, that was part of the health education classes, because, well, I think it got inadvertently weird. The physical education / health education teacher we had was retiring that year. To no one's surprise, the stuff in the textbook was left for us to read on our own. Because "ummm I don't think I need to cover this, uhhh heh heh, ummm, you kids probably already know about this". And everyone was, like, thank God we were spared of that.
Middle School (Mississippi): Basically all lies: having sex with a condom will give you AIDS, abortions are evil and most women who get them die of cancer or suicide. Even 6th grade me knew that shit was fucking wrong, but I was already on thin ice in that school for fucking up the curve, thank Homosexual Jesus that I was only there half a year.
Junior High (New Jersey): Skip ahead to 9th grade. Sex-Ed was taught by a terrified gym teacher who was just adorable. This was pretty comprehensive, lots of biology and factual information. It was the early 90s so a big part of it was teaching how to avoid getting HIV, teaching both abstinence and condoms. Some mention of same-sex relationships, but when asked about the risk of HIV transmission from lesbian sex he blanched and said he didn't know. No real fault here given the time period. They also taught various forms of birth control and other STIs. There was an undercurrent of promoting abstinence but also some pragmatic realism. In retrospect it could have been better, but compared to most of the country it was very good.
Being extremely queer in an extremely conservative family, INHALES*
INHALES
Whoa whoa whoa! Leave some penis for the rest of us!
Mostly porn as a kid, then actual research on my own. Sucks that sex ed is so ignored
Texas: We had it three times. All three times were ineffectual or outright wrong.
First was in 3rd grade (9 years old) where the boys and girls were split into different classrooms. This was mostly the “your body is going to change, your penis will sometimes get hard, you’ll get hair in new places, please for the love of god wear antiperspirant” talk. They didn’t really touch on the opposite sex at all in this one, except to vaguely say that the girls would also experience some changes of their own.
Second was in middle school, probably 7th grade (13 years old). They marched us all into the gymatorium and had us sit on the floor in front of the stage. They brought in a dude who looked and acted a lot like a church youth leader. Very much the “hey kids, I’m the cool relatable teacher” type. This was an abstinence-only sex talk. We were told that condoms don’t prevent pregnancy or STIs, (“on the microscopic level, latex looks like Swiss cheese”), and can actually increase the risk of STIs in some cases by “sealing everything in”. We were told that women’s birth control is ineffective and probably shouldn’t even be legal to sell because of the horrible side effects. We were shown lots of gory and graphic images of sex organs in various states of disease or decay. This was basically the start of the “if you have sex you’re going to catch a ton of diseases and then die” messaging. We were told that the only safe way to have sex is to wait until after marriage.
Then in high school, we had Health as a required elective. It could be taken anywhere from 9th to 12th grade (15-18 years old). The class was mostly focused on things like nutrition (using the very outdated food pyramid) and exercise (without any actual practical portions where we went to the gym). Sex ed in this class consisted of a single class session (~55 minutes) of more “if you have sex it’ll rot, and then you’ll die” messaging.
Naturally, kids had a lot of unprotected sex, because teenagers are horny. They tried sex, realized they didn’t seem to get sick, and then kept having it. And they didn’t use protection, because they were told that condoms were ineffective. IIRC we had around a dozen girls get pregnant in high school. Also, all three sex talks were entirely heteronormative, with zero mention of LGBTQ+ stuff.
Edit: My partner went to school in a neighboring town. They didn’t get the middle school talk, and Health was an optional elective for their high school. So the only one they actually got was the first talk in elementary school.
Seriously, to me this sounds like politically and religiously motivated child abuse. All of it. Lives were destroyed by this behavior, people should be jailed for this.
I'm deeply sorry but Texas moment
Texan here as well.
Yes, the sex education that was provided was horrible, probably still is.
Thankfully, between the internet and other sources of factual information, most of us figured it out. Most.
That being said, there were quite a few girls who left our campus for a long duration, and some for a shorter duration.
Well, I was in a networking class and me and my friends were poking around the network.
Now, what we did was in no way shape or form hacking.
We navigated to the nurse's computer, labeled for convenience, and started poking around. Open access to it. HIPPA information, etc.
Anyways, the girls who left for a long time got knocked up, had a baby etc.
The short timers were usually a combination of suspension and some STD.
We missed the next period reporting the security concern to administration.
We did not mention we were responsible for the network outage the previous month; but if a batch file placed in the autostart of a few computers can bring the school down, they deserved it. We just wanted to cause some chaos and blow off a day where we all had classes in computer labs.
Technical, but no mention of the social, psychological, or emotional aspects of sexuality.
Female orgasm was literally never discussed or even spoken of. This was in the very conservative city of Anaheim, in very conservative Orange County, California.
I remember in elementary school we had a lesson on sex organs. When I turned in my test paper, I curiously asked my teacher, "If the sperm is in the male, and the egg is in the female, how does the sperm transfer over?"
All she said was, "Well, what do you think?" To which I replied, "I don't know." Then I quietly returned to my desk. Later I discussed it with my friend and we concluded that a male must pee into a female. Because at the time, pee was the only thing we knew came out of the penis.
Switzerland:
Edit: this is where I lived in Switzerland and not for the whole country as in Switzetland every Kanton has their own school ecosystem)
We pretty much had the same except for the STD week.
It was pure abstinence only. Our teachers were only allowed to tell us not to have sex, and that was pretty much it. Never even saw a diagram of a vagina or a penis.
My parents had bought a book on the subject to read to us kids. I got a hold of it first and read it by myself. When my dad brought me to bed, I "educated" him about where kids come from. It's still one of my parents' favorite stories about me as a kid.
In school, sex ed was alright. They taught us everything we need to know incl. how to prevent STDs and pregnancies. The only thing I would criticize in hindsight is that they used giant test tubes (25cm) to teach us how to put on condoms. That made a lot of boys feel inadequate.
Christian teachers showing us pictures of STI infections that had been left alone for probably years before the patient went to/was able to go to a doctor in an effort to scare us into celibacy. Generally a scarring experience that didn't really teach us anything other than to practice safe sex.
*This was in the early 2000s IIRC.
Reading through the comments I remembered about a really great sex-positive TV show I would always watch late at night at around the same time my public education failed in teaching me about sex. The hosts were a really attractive Asian-looking guy with flowy hair and always wore a silk shirt with the top 2-3 buttons undone and a really attractive white girl that always wore a lot of tight clothes. They went over a lot of topics regarding attraction, safe-sex, how to deal with STIs; however, I don't think there were any specific segments on anything LGBTQ+, but IIRC they didn't need to because they way they presented things were easily applied to any sexual orientation. As in they talked about anal sex and how to do it safely and whatnot without specifically saying gex. I would love to read more about it, so if you know what it was called please lmk.
This plus being forced to watch a video of a woman giving birth for us. Also that birth control methods in general, including condoms, aren’t very reliable. Well, guess what happens when you tell teenagers a condom might not even make a difference in preventing pregnancy…
Absolutely nothing about consent either, so the nastiest shit was said about a teenager who got pregnant from statutory rape (7+ year age difference). LGBT? Absolutely nothing. I think someone might have said something in one of my classes asking if we were going to cover it, and the (gym coach) teacher making loud disgusted noises while laughing and saying no.
Christ, the 90s and 00s were not great in a lot of ways.
Yeah, I had the same thing with the photos of diseased bodies and the disparaging of contraception. I remember in particular that the textbook chapter on abstinence was immediately followed by the chapter on parenthood, which felt like it left a pretty conspicuous gap.
Amusingly there were two very different Health Class experiences to be had at my school. You were assigned one at random, you couldn't choose which teacher you got. One was a first-year math teacher and member of an unsuccessful local Christian rock band. He's who I had. The other possibility was a lesbian gym teacher, whose class was apparently (and unsurprisingly) a LOT more useful.
But yeah, the 90's kinda sucked, and I hate that the US is trundling back towards that kind of "education."
All of what you just said made me remember it more clearly, and all of what you just said is pretty much exactly my experience as well. Goddamn christians.
In the UK in the 1970s we were shown cross sections of male and family reproductive organs and copied pages out of a textbook about the essential mechanics. I can't remember any discussion or moral guidance in the slightest. But then at that point I was well into my 'hedge porn' stage so that's how I really educated myself.
The school took us on a field trip to the hospital where they told us that if we have sex we will get aids and die.
A nurse told us a horror story of a teenage mother who died and they showed us some fetuses in jars.
This was in central FL in the 90s
North Florida.
We had some short, no nonsense discussion of what sex was, the fact that stis were a thing, and that was about it. And then some health class in my high school made extremely graphic displays of what your genitals would look like if you got stis (and they weren't treated for years) that were left up all year for some reason
My sex ed was pretty thorough I feel. It was part of our health units in school from grades 5-9. In the earlier grades, the class would be split into boys and girls, but as I got older the entire class was part of the lesson.
Most sex ed classes involved: -Showing diagrams of female and male reproductive organs (we had to label each one which I hated doing) -Students being able to ask questions about sex or puberty -Learning about consent -STI and safe sex -Birth control methods
There was also a LGBT/gender portion that was added to the curriculum later on. It covered things like: -Differences between gender and sex -Sexual vs romantic attraction (also covered ace/Aro people I believe)
Overall, I'm pretty satisfied with how all this was taught to me.
Goddamn your school sounds awesome. Do you mind if I ask what era this was? I'm assuming more recent?
It was from like 2014-2019 I think? I'm really bad with years lol
Holy crap! That's awesome. I had NO classes. Wish I had. At some point I checked out a book from the library and learned more than most of my classmates.
9th grade. Public school. Teacher opens the first class with "All penises are the same size" and "I don't answer questions. That's what your handouts are for". I can't for the life of me understand how my generation had such a high teenage pregnancy rate, can you?
I had an surprising one, actually: I went to a private religious school, but I had a strangely comprehensive sex education.
It started with unvarnished discussions of human anatomy and cautions about sexual abuse around age 8, and then moved on to the basics of (hetero)sexuality by the time I was a preteen. In high school that continued, though talk about birth control was postponed until the health units of later physical education courses, which not everyone took. Of course, the stress was always that sexual activity should be limited to monogamous (heterosexual) marriage, and there was no mention of anything outside of the hetero-normative.
The last wrinkle was that it was all opt-out. At every point, there was at least one person who would leave the room for the duration of the class because their parents really didn't want them learning about naughty bits.
So it ended up actually providing a pretty good foundation. It was still incomplete and biased, but a lot better than what you would expect when you hear "private religious school."
I was raised partially in a Unitarian Universalist church which believes in comprehensive sex education. I was still a dumbass about it but they definitely tried to inform me and I think I have a healthier sex life than most people have had.
Sitting around a table in the school library and trying not to giggle while a catholic priest told us about the dangers of sex, that it was for procreation only and that abortion was evil.
This priest had left that parish a few years earlier but they brought him back to teach sex ed.
It was later learned that he had been molesting children while at the parish.
Sounds like a pretty comprehensive sex education when you have both a written and a practical exam
We had some diagrams about the sex organs. And an overview of birth control (IUD, condom, etc.). I had it twice. Once in Middle School, and it was a generic overview at best (mostly "for the love of God, don't") and then a more detailed one in high school. I believe they also showed us a woman giving birth.
IED
Uhh?
Lmao, I meant "IUD."
Ohh, good question!
Well, in middle school, the teachers split the boys from the girls. Unfortunately, we got stuck with the security guard as our male role model. Instead of talking about how our dicks are supposed to work during puberty, he spent the hour vagely instructing a bunch of kids how to flirt with women. It was boring as shit, kind of inappropriate, and we would've been better off doing literally anything else. I also wasn't taught sex ed at my high school. I have a vague memory of being gathered once in the auditorium for a talk this one time, but I don't remember them going over anything important.
So instead, I used to frequent the local LGBT community center for years after school. And that's where I got all my real education about so many interesting topics. The space was sex-positive, meaning you could openly discuss it educationally, share your experiences, and ask questions without judgment. They covered all the types of sexual orientations, all the types of condoms, sex toys, sexual practices, diseases, treatment options, warned about drug use during sex, gave a lot of health recommendations with the latest research, the whole nine yards. They regularly had programming for young adults during weeknights with topics relating to the community that didn't necessarily relate to sex. It was amazing and eye-opening to have my gay life fully explained before I became an adult. I wish it were more common, if only for the experience alone, which was wonderful.
But what I love is that I've seen the same format again at my current LGBT community center in another country. It wouldn't surprise me if I walked in and kindly asked for help, and they'd answer all my questions regardless of my background or orientation or whatever. Their willingness to communicate accurate medical information for your safety is incredible.
I had several classes during different years, but what I recall from the first, in middle school during the mid 90s, was our teacher, Bunny Morris. She was memorizable because her son was nationally renowned pop artist Burton Morris.
She was fine. I recall that she started her class with the statement that "we are all sexual beings", which sounded cheesey to me at the time but in hindsight seems like a very lucid mission statement for introducing preteens to sexual education.
I don't remember the specifics, but I have great sexual health as an adult, so I suppose she did her job. It definitely wasn't the shamey kind.
Watching a 60y/o blind woman put a condom on a wooden banana waaaaaay bigger than any penis I've ever seen.
Unzips..
Please, continue.
It was early 00’s in the US South and basically boiled down to don’t have sex before marriage, you WILL catch an STD (boys) or get pregnant (girls). Our science teacher though, went off script their last year teaching, and said we’d likely ignore the advice to abstain and if we did have sex, to use a condom. I always liked that teacher.
This same public high school also taught the life and death of Jesus in history class.
It was perfectly OK and uneventful enough that I'll never understand why anyone would feel the need to discuss it.
Almost 100% via public school.
My first sex-ed class was in fourth grade, then another in fifth and sixth grade. In junior high and high school I was required to take general health courses that covered aspects of sex.
My religious parents didn't teach me shit and I wish they had.
Catholic school in the UK in the early 00s - basically "here's what a condom is because the government says we have to show you, now wait till you're married and don't be gay"
I know its a cliché but honestly I got my early sex ed from porn magazines I found in the woods, fortunately playboy at the time did have articles that were educational.
Oh yeah! You helped me remember and old TV show (early 2000's?) that was better then any crap I would learn in school (that was heavily tainted by christian shitbags). It was really in depth and went over everything from mental aspects of attraction to foreplay to how to prevent and treat STIs.
Me with zero knowledge of anything sexual down to even how to do sexual intercourse or the existence of oral sex, knowing what consent is, anything. No idea.
I was almost a teen and stumbled on an obscure sex forum. It wasn’t pornography, it was all informational. I started reading about stuff, it astounded me, it sounded like fiction. I learned how to masturbate correctly, I learned how to do sexual things, and I learned about consent. As a result, I waited until I was comfy with another person doing that stuff to me. I have never had a bad sexual experience, and I have had every partner tell me about how much they enjoy experiences with me.
I thank that forum for that. I’m very lucky I was taught by the best source I could imagine… and that I was curious enough to read and learn for a long while before actually doing stuff.
Was it JackinWorld by any chance?
Nahhh it was sex-project.forum!
Edit: RIP
I can't recall if it was on the second or third year of high school, but it was a single Biology class. The teacher was comfortable with it, but she was very clearly biased towards abstinence and insisted the only way to be 100% sure was to just not have sex.
Despite that, she still talked about basics of sex and genitalia, a few common STDs, and basic preventive measures, both for pregnancy and STDs - even if they weren't particularly effective. Both coitus interruptus and sodomy (we had a loooot of fun repeating that word for a week or so) were mentioned as ways to avoid pregnancy, but condoms and IUDs were the real recommendations.
As a class, we weren't too rowdy, though there was a kid or two that made a few too many jokes - and the teacher cut them off fairly quickly. I also recall she handled pamphlets with each of the methods talked during class and their approximate efficacy.
This was in 2005-ish and I'm Brazilian.
Also of note this was the second time, the first attempt happened in middle school (and in a different school altogether) and we had to do a presentation on STDs and the like. The teacher decided to cancel at the last minute because we were clearly too embarrassed to actually talk about the subject in front of our classmates.
Maybe I had a good education? I feel like it equipped me properly to make sound decisions. Gave information of puberty, changes, hormones, STD/STI, protection, pregnancies.
In the moment, the class was just another class. Sure, it was funny (teehee weiner and boobs), but reflecting later in life, I made a few better decisions because of it.
Surprisingly comprehensive, considering I took health at a Kentucky high school back around 1994.
Over flowery words from my mother, as soon as I started asking.
I am at that stage as parent.
I'm thoroughly enjoying it. It's a case of "here's the medical term for $ReproductiveOrgan" so they know how to use it in formal discussion, ".. but here's what you may hear it reterred to as, and why" and many laughs are had.
Is it the best way? Probably not, but it's a good giggle.
I think of all the education that I missed, but then my homework was never quite like this....
I brought my pencil... Gimme something to write on
standard 7th grade or so biology class stuff. 1990ish. A week or two of classes. that’s it.
Grade 6. Biology classes lasted about an hour or so, every day, for a week or two.
Boys and girls were broken into their own groups. I assume this was to help avoid being embarrassed about things in front of the opposite sex.
We were told if we made jokes or giggled, we failed for the day and had to sit in the hall. We nervously and embarrassingly giggled a bit the first day but after we got into it things were fine.
The classes were very straight forward. Dry. Matter of fact. Covered everything they needed to cover for basic biology, how sex works, body parts and what they do, etc, but didn't talk about things like birth control.
My friend Lionel in grade school telling us that every time you thrust when you have sex that that's how many children you'll have.
According to Lionel I should have had a few million children by now.
This guy fucks
Mine talked about various contraceptive methods, STDs, and accidental/teen pregnancies. It did focus more on the pregnancy part than the STD part, but they also briefly talked about how condoms are still important even if you're gay, since they prevent STDs.
I have a cousin I went to highschool with. He grew up in the south, but he finished highschool with me in Minnesota, and he told me his sex ed curriculum down south consisted of a brief talk on how sex is bad and that it is important to eat vegetables. Even though he had health class credits from down south, the school made him take their health class and he was happy to find out it's much more comprehensive than the south.
With parental consent, we got the basic mechanics taught to us in grade 7. The very first thing was the teacher asked us what words we knew for genitalia (dick etc), wrote them all on the board, and then banned us from using them in the class. We were only to use the proper words.
Then in grade 10, without parental consent, we started getting weekly classes during our homeroom class. There were about five classes in total. It was conducted by someone from outside the school (from a group like planned parenthood I guess), but our teacher was present.
There were many discussions, different forms of contraception were introduced, and literally passed around for us to look at. The pill, dental dams, condoms, female condoms, (I'm probably forgetting some). We practiced putting condoms onto plastic bananas, and were all given one (some?) to take home.
There was an anonymous question box which the instructor answered. Sex for pleasure, including masturbation was discussed. I don't remember anything about LGBT as it was a different time then. After high school, though many classmates came out.
I do remember one of these lessons was about STDs, and the instructor was going to show those horrific pictures as others have described. But our (cool) teacher stopped them. Overall, it was a great experience for us.
I remember in the 5th grade we were reproductive taught anatomy with black and white line drawings of adult genitalia and it literally didn't occur to me that it had anything to do with my body or anyone else's. The hairy spread beavers or the cross sections with lines referring to some squiggle as the vas deferens... It was about as meaningful as being in geography class trying to memorize the names of every island in the arctic.
8th grade and in bio class. Focus was on abstinence being the best way to precent STDs and stuff, and also using protection like condoms.
Religious school taught me nothing, but religious parents gave a surprisingly detailed and good explanation of sex, including mention of gay people. Then they got me a private tutor for biology so I would know the material to pass the exam.
Got gifted a biology encyclopedia left open on my table opened on the page about reproduction
A mysterious brown paper bag was tossed out of a car window aimed to land near me playing in the front yard...
Like god intended.
mostly just internet
parents are conservative and don't teach shit, not that I want to talk to them anyways
school teach it in terms of biology. Eggs, Sperms, that stuff, they don't teach you how to fuck, but I think they mentioned condoms a few times, but I doubt it was even that clear. I don't think they explicitly mentioned how sexual intetcourse is supposed to work.
internet is a wonderful thing, its just sad people these days use it for tik toks instead of reading Wikipedia.
Wikipedia is love, Wikipedia is life. (Yes I know to double check the stuff)
I did the practicum before the theory. It helped.
A boring waste of my summer vacation at the time
In Highschool I took health and it was the diagrams of the different junk, pictures and videos about STDs, saying most birth control doesn't actually work very well (e.g. Condoms have a 36% success rates at prevent STDs or pregnancy) so it's best to sign a card swearing you'll be abstinent until marriage. Only one person signed the card since we were, thankfully, given a choice. No talking about being gay, since it's a red state. They spent more time on a bunch of different drugs than sex.
Before high school there wasn't really "sex" ed, just showing videos about puberty and ways to check for cancer/lumps. But I went to a Catholic school before highschool. There also might have been stuff about how Masturbation is bad in the Catholics "sex ed".
I don't remember too much of it. Was probably grade 6 or 7. They split us up by boys/girls. The only thing that stuck is the teacher telling us that when people with penises sleep, their penis goes UP and DOWN and UP and DOWN and she very animatedly gestured this out.
To this day, I have never noticed anybody's penis rise and fall while they're asleep, but nobody really feels comfortable with me watching either ¯(ツ)/¯