2mo ago

Onion be onioning again

56 comments

This is my favorite post of the morning. Laughed well and shared with a friend. Thanks, Onion.
If hot tub handjobs really are a thing I've wasted my life
- They are but are very dry. Water is not good lube. Better one person sits on the edge of the hot tube with there legs in the water.
  Lazy rivers work also..
  
  Skill issue.
  Use silicone-based lube for water play.
  
  Doing anal with a girl in a hot tub isn’t much better
- They are, so next time take off your floaties.
  
  Nice try, I'd drown immediately if I did that
- You want to go the pool route. In the hot tub there's little differentiation temperature wise.
  
  Look man
  Y'all know far too much for this. I'm 34, my ex cheated on me 5 years (or 6 idk, I lost track) and have gotten laid once in that time.
  It doesn't help i have ADHD with some weird mental thing preventing me from trying to hook up with anyone for any reason
  Wait, no, I think my ex and I did try in a pool once but when they say "pool closed" we assumed that meant cause no staff was around
Dammit! These are schwimmflügel, there IS a proper English term. Use It!
Edit: Thanks @dan@upvote.au I realized a left out a diacritic mark.
- schwimmflugel
  English
  🤔
  
  Kindergarten, Rucksack, Schadensfreude :)
  
  Floaties image search: https://duckduckgo.com/?q=floaties&t=ffab&ia=images&iax=images
  Nary a schwimmflügel in those results at all. I rest my case.
- my dad always called them floogles and i never knew why!
  
  Parents can be mysterious, that way.
I read the caption before I took a good look at the picture and I assumed that "floaties" meant something very different.
- Floaters greatly lessen my enjoyment of hot tubs as well.
  
  Yeah spots everywhere and you don't know if its an bubble on your eye or just the floaties
- Oh, I've got this far down the comments before realising we were maybe talking about arm based flotation devices and not turds.
- https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SN7RQYVNYy8
- Well at least someone here is getting floaties. I'm sitting here either dry or wet as a bone.
  
  better to bone wet than dry
Skill issue tbh
- Yeah, just cum on the inside, problem solved.
I love onions
Boebert approves this message
Whatever floats your uhh… arms?
Safety first though!
"THEY'RE NOT FLOATIES, THEY'RE A FASHION CHOICE!"
That's when you go for the foot job instead.
Honey, you have to put some elbow grease into it.
Sounds like a challenge tbh
If anything it would make them faster as the floaties would increase the speed the hand goes up
- this guy hand jobs
"from German". I'm not being elitist, I am not German. But lent words have origins.
It prevents: "This isnt a beach, this is a bathtub" kinds of situations.

56 comments