7d ago

what prank/petty revenge did you get away with?

I have 2 examples.

Ill share one; my stepdad was always a huge piece of shit. He still is, actually. He'd trick us into eating tomatoes. Me at 12 could eat them, whatever. My 5 year old brother was forced to eat them, and got grounded if he didn't. He would actually force us to eat foods we didn't like and would literally backhand us across the face for "disrespecting" that we had food on the table.

I worked at a sub shop that had the hottest of the sauces. I told a similar version of this story to my boss, and got my hands on an illegally 'hot" sauce. I poured the whole bottle into a store-bought salsa i knew he'd eat.

29 comments

Overly technical one.
I was trying to download a 700MB game ISO over ADSL in 2007 in Australia. The modem sync speed was 10Mb of the supposed 24Mb that ADSL could get.
It would take a while but Dad was also home doing whatever he did online slowing the download. As I was doing my CCNA at the time I thought it would be a fun idea to stop all TCP traffic to my dad's PC so I could download the ISO faster and get to gaming.
About 10 min after configuring the modem dad asked if the internet is working for me and naturally it was but he could resolve DNS but not browse websites as they use TCP (this is pre Quic).
After my download finished I waited a bit longer and changed the modem settings back. I did this a couple times over the years before moving out.
A several years later when dad changed ISP he asked for my help to change the PPPoE details on the modem and he saw a disabled firewall rule called 'Suck it dad' and asked me what that was. So I told him, each time he had internet issues when he could resolve DNS but not access web pages it was me enabling that rule so I could download a game faster.
He wasn't angry just annoyed that he never looked at the modem when trying to work out his connectivity issues.
- Damn I wish I could understand what this means.

Not me, but I read this post on a Confessions site: "I work at Starbucks. When a customer is rude to me, I give them decaf. "
- It’s called Blue-Coding since the button for Decaf is blue on the espresso machine. Or at least it was when I worked there about a decade ago. I knew people who did that, but I never would. I was always doing opening shift and the ‘rude’ people had to be on the road around 5AM to get to work. Of course they were grumpy.

I once made a guy I knew piss all over himself a couple of times, because I told him you can make yourself cum without touching yourself. I was just talking shit to see if he'd believe me or not.
He was furious and came up yelling " You made me piss all over myself, you lied it's impossible" So I doubled down on it and he did it again.
I don't know how many times he tried, he stopped telling me about it after a while.
He was an absolute fucking dumb piece of shit oxygen thief.
- There's a wild greentext of this out there from his perspective
  
  There quite possibly could be one on there from him about it, he's the one who first told me about 4chan.
- I hesitate to ask, but how was he trying to stimulate himself that he ended up pissing all over himself?
  
  I think he was clenching too hard or trying to force it and it just happened, I'm not entirely sure because he never told me the details, he just yelled at me for making him piss himself.
- oxygen thief.
  I’ve died laughing 🤣 😵
- Ooh, he doubled down LOL, the audacity 🤣

I have a friend who is constitutionally incapable of throwing things away, including the vast number of things she inherited from her mother who bought a second house to store her totally-not-a-hoarding-problem.
To get back at her for trying to foist some of them on my wife and I, I spend six months hiding Lego minifigs among her ornaments every time we visited her home.
- My husband did this to his mom! She was not a hoarder by any means but had a decent collection of flow blue porcelain. Some of it was displayed in such a way that anyone who was not her was terrified to just walk near it for fear of bumping it and causing catastrophe.
  Hubby found a Kubrick done in a similar blue/white pattern and he strategically put it amongst her breakables to see how long it would be before she noticed. It took about a year before she said something.
  He ended up finding another version of the little blue & white bear and did it again. She's gone now, and I hadn't thought of those bears in a while. Thank you for that. It's a very fond memory.

You just posted that you were physically abused as a child, no child should ever get back handed.
What of your post is 'petty revenge you got away with'??
- I got away dumping a bunch of hot sauce into his salsa I knew he'd eat. 😎
  I showed him!
  My mom swears she's okay and Stockholm Syndrome's everything
  
  I agree with your stepfathers reasoning, but not his method.

I think I'm the reason my high school installed security cameras.
So, we had mandatory parenting classes in lieu of sex ed, but the school didn't have the money for those rubber babies and just made us carry around hardboiled eggs for a week. I still don't understand that logic, but hey that's conservative america for you.
This went, predictably, very poorly. Lots of 'babies' got stolen, smashed, and/or thrown out of windows, and this one guy in particular kept being weirdly pervy about it. Being conservative america, the teachers did not care that he was harassing girls about their eggs.
This guy wanted a girl's egg so damn bad, I watched him put the combo into his locker, peeled my name sticker off the week old egg, and left it in his locker over the weekend.
The next week, there were cameras in the hallways.

When I was in vocational school, back then you could flip the display upside down by ctrl alt down (with amd GPUs I think), so in the IT classroom when no one was there, I logged in to every pc and flipped the screens. Next class was canceled because IT was busy and nobody knew how to fix them.
- We did the same thing then flipped the monitors upside down. They were CRT so it took the teacher a week to find out.
  We also put the keys on the keyboard in alphabetical order. We got caught right away because an ESL student couldn't type. They knew who did it right away.
  
  I did that keyboard prank too at work on a tester pc, just swapped m and n and a few others. People were pissed as fuck and they knew it was me.
- I think that's a windows feature
  
  Correct. I used to use the same key combo to switch virtual desktops on my Ubuntu install way back when and when on Windows my muscle memory would result in screen rotating all the time
  
  Yeah. We do it if we catch someone logged in and away from their desk.

My wife and I were in an argument while I was rushing out the door to work. I made two hot dogs for lunch for me to eat on the way to work. I work on call, and was going out of town for a couple of days so I was packing my bags at the same time, all while going through an argument. When I went to leave, I couldn't figure out where the hot dogs were. I am always misplacing things, and eventually just had to leave without them. An hour later I called my wife and asked her if she threw them away because she was mad at me. Yep, petty as hell. I laughed so hard at that I cried. It's been twenty years and we still laugh about it.

I love how you got back at him. Firstly, chance of being discovered is close to zero. And since he's already into hot sauce, he'd never admit that this one's too much for him. So either he eats it all up and you get to revel in seeing his red face, or he throws it away and you got one over on him for preaching about food waste. Nice.
- He ate it about a year later. It was after I moved out of the house. My mom called me freaking out. He apparently started violently throwing up, his face got very swollen, and had to miss a day or so of work. Mission accomplished.

Jackass that was a huge piece of crap for several years and repeatedly stole things was a part of a larger social group I was a part of. Used to gaslight and attempt sexual assault on most of the girls in the group too, and his various lies tended toward causing fights.
Literally got the chance and spent a weekend banging his (divorced) Mom.
Side irony: getting the chance like that to spend quality time with an attractive gal boosted my self image enough I was able to later make some of his hidden transgressions against that community apparent. Much of the group ostracized him, and the ones that didn't fell away as they often were complicit... Grooming girls or equally abusive etc.

Cyberbullies defaced person A's website.
Cyberbullies defaced my website.
Knowing who they were I went to person A and tried to encourage him to make a stand together against cyberbullying.
Person A told me that if you ignore the bullies, they will go away.
Taken aback by that comment, I decided to cyberbully person A and pretend it was the cyberbullies.
Person A confronted the cyberbullies at the lunch table which I was present at, made a big cry about it, confusing the cyberbullies completely, while I held in my laughter.
After that, the cyberbullying stopped.

My grandma killed and ate my rabbit once, so now I go to her grave every now and then miss her deeply as I reminisce on the good times

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