Skip Navigation
askchapo @hexbear.net
IHateCabbage420 [he/him] @hexbear.net
CW: poop

Why do westerners not wash their asshole with water?

It seems like the only logical option. If someone paid me to come up with a solution to having poopy butt I couldn't come up with a better one than a hose or a bidet. You know what I wouldn't do? I WOULDN'T INVENT PAPER YOU COULD RUB ON YOUR BUTT.

Like every person that has tried a bidet on the internet describes their experience as being reborn. Anyone that tries it instantly becomes a shill for big bidet. I have not seen a single negative review for a bidet aside from maybe water shooting up your back which is more of a skill issue with aiming.

There is some debate to be had between using a bidet versus using a hose. With bidet there's no hand contact but you can't control where the water goes. Im personally more in favor of hose since you still gotta flush and handle the bathroom door so there's gonna be contact either way, but using water is CLEARLY superior to toilet paper.

Water is cheaper and guess what? IT USES LESS CLEAN WATER THAN MAKING TOILET PAPER. That's right making a single tissue of TP uses more water than just simply washing your butt. You can also shower less frequently because you don't constantly smell like shit. We are deforesting jungles just to turn them into butt napkins that do not even clean us properly, they just smear the shit all over the crack and make us smell like poop.

Also without TP there's no longer an issue with assholes flushing their used TP down the toilet and clogging the pipes, houses will no longer get TP'ed, the pandemic scalping situation wouldn't have happened etc etc. So why are people still hellbent on using this inferior method?

155 comments

  • I've had extreme culture shock when I went to Indonesia. Both the unsanitary conditions of their squat holes and the hoses or cups they use sitting in pools of stagnant water in a country notorius for malaria and mosquitoes used to both wash shit and shower with. The whole "wet room" concept when part of my job is to grow pathogens like Ecoli. Just saw everyone's shit germs everywhere and had a few days of mild panic attacks. Not to mention trying to keep my clothes dry in thise things and seperate shoes and

    Then how do people do that without getting their clothes all soaking wet?

    Fast Forward after the shock

    wears off, I'll shower bidet and still theres shit that sticks and then is now in the shower in a drain that isn't a power flush. Which grows germs and doesn't go down properly.

    My hybrid solution is to wet some TP to clean the area and then follow up with some lotion or mineral oil wipes until it's clean. Paper just doesn't do a full job. Then get your shit germ sprayer thing (bidet arm) that gets shit on and aprayed with shit crossed my mind, but our water is COLD and how do you keep it clean?

    Every description online is like very vauge and overly modest in using a bidet and I just need something explict step by step.

    • Unsanitary bathrooms are straight from hell. It's genuinely disgusting. It's usually the remote bathrooms in rural roads that are really gross and dirty. I'm sorry you had to experience that.

      Then how do people do that without getting their clothes all soaking wet?

      In squatting holes they usually have a low pressure shower bidet or a container just pouring water on it and then they scrub it with their hands. It gets your hand dirty but it gets the job done with minimum splashing.

      Every description online is like very vauge and overly modest in using a bidet and I just need something explict step by step.

      I'm not sure how much it helps but wikihow has a guide.

  • Generally hygiene is taught by your mom/dad or primary caretaker and somewhat by your primary school. So if no one ever mentions that to you, you're probably not going to think about it, and even hearing about it is going to seem somewhat alien.

  • I just gotta say I’m really confused by the “you don’t need TP” angle of bidet shilling, like I am a bidet user and a bidet shill but I still have to use several pieces of multi-ply TP to dry off down there, and sometimes need to wipe extra to get what the bidet missed despite my 30 seconds of ass-wriggling.

    • sometimes need to wipe extra to get what the bidet missed

      That's why I prefer bidet shower that way it doesn't miss. If you are using the bidet to only wash your asshole then there's no need for drying but I understand that people may want to dry. This is more of an anti-wiping post rather than anti-TP post I think I lost the plot after the second sentence but we can live in a world where the majority wash their ass and there's still TP left for people that really want it.

      • comrade, if you’re just washing your anus and nowhere else with the bidet, then proceeding to not wipe at all, congratulations, you’ve simply relocated some of the shit to other parts of your crack.

  • All the toilets where I am from have a bidet and we do wash our bits with them. At least all who I have done bidet discourse with do.

    Even public toilets have them and it would be incredible miserable to exist in the world with periods if they didn't.

    But I still need TP as a person without a personal hose for peeing. It's also nice to dry things up with after the washing and then there's the period stuff. This post seems to ignore that not everyone has similar plumbing.

    • A dumb sideline- question from a country where shower heads are always hand held.

      I visited AmeriKKKa once and the one thing that was different was the showers and tubs. The places I went had showers you can't detach from above and only shallow tubs. I assume one is to sit around in the dirty water and that supposedly is "showering" and I thought it to be odd. I could not properly wash my nether regions or even armpits that way because am used to pointing the water upwards with the shower in my hand.

      Tubs have disappeared from around here long ago due to how much water they consume and when we did bathing, we would always shower and wash first and then do the bath as a form of relaxation/pampering.

      The undetachable showerhead made especially rinsing properly somehow impossible for me. Always felt like there at least might be some soap left in my bits. Tried to bend over and stuff to get the clean water into all places, but felt a bit icky still. The water pressure also seemed to be very low which made it worse.

      I really don't think you can get your ass properly washed like this either. Are the showers in the US still like this or was this a regional thing?

    • idk if this is a dumb question but are there any worries about getting a uti or other issues if the bidet water accidentally pushes bacteria forward or is that something that doesn't really happen if your aim is good? i've been thinking about getting a bidet shower but i'm pretty prone to utis so i've been putting it off cause i wasn't sure.

      • I don't really understand the use of it that people are describing here, but the way I for example use a bidet would not do that. There is no aiming, I use it like a hand shower because that is what it essentially is.

        I use it from the front to the back always and wash with soap as well with my other hand. First water, soap, then a good rinse. Then dry everything up well. I don't understand how just shooting water up my butt crack would really wash anything well.

    • This post seems to ignore that not everyone has similar plumbing

      Yeah that's bad on my part this post is more about wiping after shitting than TP itself but your point is valid.

  • ego and homophobia/sexual propriety. those are the kneejwrk reactions I've heard from non adopters.

    they "know" their asses are clean because they've smeared shit into their balloon knot for decades and it was "fine". got some peanut butter in a keyhole...? just use some tissue paper. totally hygienic. to consider otherwise is to consider one has been living with low standards for personal cleanliness despite full access to all the necessary technology and infrastructure of empire.

    when they finally consider that maybe dry paper doesn't really clean feces off of skin effectively, they lash out about how the desire for a clean anus is some kind of sexual perversion they are "above".

    • when they finally consider that maybe dry paper doesn't really clean feces off of skin effectively, they lash out about how the desire for a clean anus is some kind of sexual perversion they are "above".

      This sounds like exaggeration, but I've actually had someone say he doesn't use wet wipes because it's gay. "Why does my asshole need to be clean? For my boyfriend??"

      Absolutely deranged puritanical culture.

      • real shit, i was summarizing my lived experience as a multi-decade bidet enjoyer. having been to the middle east and the far east as a younger person, and having had family live in the middle east for many years it was something we all adopted straight away. because once it is realized how affordable and easy it is to live a life without a be'shitted asshole, it becomes the standard. like bathing regularly, brushing teeth, or washing dishes. you can't just go back. not to mention, a typical entry level apparatus pays for itself in TP cost savings in a few months for a single person.

        i gave up on evangelizing to the westoids very early on, because the majority dismiss it with some invective from one of (or both) of the two camps: "i can clean feces perfectly by blindly smearing it with paper" / "you are a sexual pervert". these being responses to me having one in my bathroom and them seeing it. maybe 1 in 10 or 1 in 20 would see it, try it, and become converted. the rest were upset and confrontational.

  • If we're talking about "inventing TP", I'm pretty sure we wiped with leaves and stuff before we invented the hose. Maybe even nice thick leaves like cabbage leaves.

    I don't like getting only my butt wet instead of the whole body. If I wanted my butt wet I might as well take a shower.

    Also, composting toilets are superior. Flush toilets emerged along with the capitalist class and the liberal idea of private bathroom ownership. Putting water pipes into every dwelling unit is a wasteful luxury that speeds up the decay of buildings. If we're talking about plumbing and commodity shortages we need to have a holistic approach instead of a hyperspecific bandaid approach.

  • i really want one but my partner has no gall bladder and blah blah gross stuff basically i'm afraid it will get really dirty and poopy from backsplash. i have to clean and bleach our toliet down every 2 days.

    will that add complicated nooks and tubing to clean basically?

    • I would say there is a little bit more to clean, but ive seen many that have "splash guards". Mine also has a cleaning setting that will wash the splash guard but its not gonna get the guard squeaky clean. Mine attaches to the seat, and also flips up for cleaning do you can wipe beneath it. I can send you a link to the one I got it you'd like, I was nervous about that too but I am so glad I got one

    • You can watch an installation video it seems simple enough it's just a piece that goes over your toilet bowl and there's a tube connected through a tee connector to your water supply. Otherwise if you can't get it im sorry that you can't experience the pure bliss of having clean ass.

      • Yeah not the installation that i'm worried about. I'm pretty handy. it's liquid shits basically encrusting it in a few days making it a hard to clean

  • Bidets exist but only in "fancier" homes. I think France & Italy have it more common. Anyways I use a hand bidet for travel, and have one at home. But I still need toilet paper because I dont want a wet crack.

  • There is pretty much no excuse, bidets are like $40 and easy to attach/detach so no prob if you're renting

155 comments