Trump: ‘I’m really not trolling’ with talk of Canada as 51st state

Kill him. He only deserves a bullet.
- U S perspective here.
  I keep remembering that oath our armed forces repeat so much: "... To defend against all enemies, foreign and domestic."
  What in the flippin' hell do these bastards gotta do to be considered "domestic enemies"‽
  Because apparently directly provoking all our neighbors to attack us out of self defense, or allying with friggin' Putin, along with a million other treasons, aren't qualifying enough? Who over there is gonna actually protect and defend the Constitution and the People of the United States of America?!
  Because dammit we haven't lived this frickin long, through countless crises and bullshit, just to get shot or bombed by a Canadian we should've been sharing pancakes and beer with!!!
  FULFILL THAT OATH YOU LIKE TO RECITE SO MUCH. OR COUNTLESS INNOCENT PEOPLE ARE GOING TO DIE OVER ORANGE CALIGULA'S EGO.

I guess it's time for a preemptive strike Canada, don't wait until it's too late.

And we aren't trolling when we say you'll sign your own death warrant, as a nation, and as a person.
the richest nation on earth with a military budget larger than the domestic budget of dozens of countries combined, couldnt stomach a fight against dirt poor cavemen, armed with cold war and WW2 relics, on the other side of the world, who were so culturally alien to them, they might as well have been from mars. And you're going to pick a fight with people who all they have to do is wear a Bruins hat and they pass for an American?
Ask the Russians how the occupation of their Ukrainian cousins territory has worked out. If you could speak to the dead that is. Those who are still alive, live looking over their shoulder for the rest of their lives.
- couldnt stomach a fight against dirt poor cavemen
  And yet, you think you haven't succumbed to American brainrot.

Speaking as a Canadian... Yes, we know.
You guys had the most trustworthy, most reliable ally ever. The faith and trust between Canada and the US was legendary.
That's gone now. It'll be a century or more before you can ever rebuild that trust.
And you threw it away for this drooling moron to play tinpot dictator.
Was it worth it?
- For him and his administration? Yes, it was worth it. Destroying that was the entire point.
- Call his bluff.
  Ya'll are about the size of, and politically left of, California. 54 of 538 electoral votes. 52 of 435 members in the House of Representatives. You'd be another California.
  You're the last thing that the GOP wants involved in US politics.
  If you hate Trump, you can drive a wedge between him and the GOP simply by reminding us that you have universal healthcare, and you intend to spread it.
  
  That depends on there still being elections
- Was it worth it?
  Southerners: "Yes, but we get to abuse brown people again!"
  
  And say the "R-word" apparently
- Can some of us, uh, join you though?
  
  Honestly I've been worrying for years that the only way the US is going to resolve this division and hostility within their country is by breaking up, possibly largely along red state/blue state lines, and hopefully not triggering a violent (or god forbid nuclear) civil war in the process.
  But I can say as a Canadian, if it does come to that, and you guys can't take back your country (which I really think you can, once you start to accept what is happening and accept that it's gonna hurt and you dig your heels in anyway, I don't think there's anyone who will be able to take you down, not even Trump and crew), then we would be absolutely happy to quickly rebuild and strengthen our relationship with most of the blue states. And however you end up wanting to arrange yourselves in the end, we'll work with that. And if you guys genuinely wanted our help, our resources, our logistical support, even our protection (what little we can provide), if things were to start looking like actual civil war, I'm sure we'd absolutely be willing to figure out what sort of arrangement is actually going to work. We'd have to at least initially discuss it as equals and as partners though, I don't think we'd ask you or coerce you to give up your sovereignty, any more than we'd want you to take ours. But if the intention to join Canada was a popular attitude, I expect we'd be willing to consider it, probably after some cooling-off period though to make sure it's not just a passing fad. The progressive parts of America are the parts we've always loved. If you guys come knocking on our door needing a couch to crash on we're not going to ask how long you need to stay, we're just going to go find pillows and blankets.
  
  There's an immigration process, go ahead and apply if you want.
- I assume certain short-term things will get better with anyone less crazy than Trump, but I agree the US is no longer reliable for anything long-term, and no other country should deal with us on the assumption that we'll give up certain short-term advantages for a long term stability within our sphere of influence. It's not even that the US was "good" (though I imagine the next hegemonic power could easily be worse), but across administrations, the US was generally intelligent about how to leverage its influence but retain enough goodwill to continue to do so indefinitely.
  
  This administration is showing the world how poorly codified and vulnerable the US democracy is.
- Sorry... 😞
  
  No. I have zero interest in your apologies. Not you, not any American whose first instinct is to tell us how sorry they are. I'm sure you're all wonderful people, but we're well past the point where that matters.
  I never, ever, want to hear the word "Sorry" from any of your lips while I'm living with the reality that people I love might die to American bombs and bullets. I am not obligated to assuage your fucking conscience by dignifying your apologies while you all sit around hanging your heads in worthless shame.
  We do not want or need your apologies. We want your rage. Get angry. Get out in the streets. Fucking do something.
  And when Trump is gone and every last fascist has been hunted down and your government is run like an actual democracy, and your voters have learned how to value and respect friendships with countries outside of your own.... Then you can come to us and say sorry.

“In fact, we don’t want them to make cars for us. We want to make our own cars. We don’t need their lumber. We don’t need their energy. We don’t need anything from Canada. And I say the only way this thing really works is for Canada to become a state.”
So he DOES need things from us. If he didn't need us he'd just walk away and not trade with us. But why would he he want us as a state if we didn't have something he wanted?
He DOES need us, our workers, and our resources but he doesn't like that we're our own sovereign nation. He needs us but he wants us enslaved and controlled.

I think this bears repeating.
We will make you forget Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan. The insurrection will be continent wide and we will just walk over the border and start looting weapons.
We are tougher than anyone thinks and can survive just fine pretending to be homeless or just in your woods or in a looted home.
We will live among you indistinguishable until something good to blow up comes along, or an American needs tied to a tree with their dick in their mouth.
You’ll never feel safe. You’ll never be safe.
Promise.
- The Geneva Convention did need an update
  
  Geneva Checklist.
- IEDs. Just sayin'.
- Gooning to a theoretical war is wild.
- The US' infrastructure is incredibly weak and vulnerable, and there are about a million(!) Canadians living in the US -- and that doesn't include dual citizens which is probably double that.
  So it'll be nothing for Canadians living in the US to fuck shit up in a major way. How many refineries do you think the US can lose before people can't buy gas anymore? Those Amazon warehouses look pretty flammable. Datacentres would probably burn pretty good too. How long will it take to replace those high-power transmission line transformers? How is the East Coast going to power itself when Canada stops powering them? How are US airports going to operate when there's small drones continuously overhead? In fact given the hub-and-spoke design of US air travel, only a few airports need to be droned to completely shut down air travel across the US, including shipping. On a final note, only a few hundred grams of thermite can melt of hole through a wing or a fibreglas hull, so a lot of VERY expensive billionaire and government hardware can be reduced to ash with nothing but a small drone and a pissed-off Canadian.
  
  You're making it sound way harder than it is, The US has like 4? substations that if they all went down at once it would cascade fail about 90% of the grid, they aren't in bunkers or surrounded by armed guards or anything, they're random ass substations with chain link fences around them.
  
  Not to mention us Americans who would fight and sabotage for Canadian forces.
- Just a reminder to non-canadians that a core part of Canadian identity has always been not being American. It’s a quasi-colonized pov. Make it real and it will be life-or-death for many many folk.
  
  We're not always great a describing who we are, but we sure as fuck know who we are not.
  
  Yep, I frequently hear people bitching about the state of things in Canada and someone almost always follows up with "eh it could be worse, at least we're not murican"
  Fuck murica.
- Hopefully the Canadians will team up with blue states and we can fight any war he tries inflicting on Canada. I am moving from Texas if we ever invade Canada, most likely Washington
  
  dont worry, the Police , Red State Military, and Private Militias will already have arrested , put a gun to the head of, or straight up killed any potential blue state rebel figureheads before they make a move like invading Canada or Mexico.
  this is black and white, a Fascist coup that has taken over America.
- I think that we Canadians would be more than happy to add to the Geneva checklist should it come to this.
  
  doom music slowly increases in volume...
- Hey, just a lone Canuck on a 10 state fire season careless smoking tour of the wests national forests oughta do it. People forget that we're largely upwind.
  And upstream, but that's a whole other level of sabotage.
- Please don't view AMERICA as your enemy, just MAGA. They may be in control of the government at the moment, but they don't control us.
  Remember that HitlerPig's following is only about 1/3 of the country, and they are breath-takingly stupid. MOST of Americans are your allies, and will happily fight alongside you to take both of our countries back from the Nazis.
  
  I’d have agreed with you 10 years ago. In 2025, any American who is not already fighting (and I mean fighting, not “protesting”) MAGA is my enemy. Try us.
  
  Every Soldier in the Wehrmact who was in Allied territory, was an enemy, regardless of his opinion of Hitler and the party
  Every Soldier in the Russian Army, or shitbag Mercenary who is in Ukraine, is an enemy, regardless of their opinion of Putin and Russkiy Mir
  Any American who decides to just go along with orders of an invasion of an allied country , will be treated as such. An illegal occupant, an enemy combatant, a legitimate target.
  No matter how anyone wants to spin it. Soldiers have options, they may be thrown in the brig for insubordination, they may be forced to frag their officer and go AWOL. But choosing to just go along with your orders, Illegal or otherwise, is complicit guilt in the crime.
  
  I hear ya, and mean this with all due respect and just as a counterpoint.
  I think the world, and especially Canada, aren’t wrong to expect Americans as a whole to not let it get to that point - democratically, seriously. We have been, happily and willingly, consuming an entire culture of freedom and defence against tyranny. Your news is our news, including all of the violence and rationalization of it - defence of freedom.
  We know your massive protests and hard won civil rights because your media is our media just like your products are our bilateral lifelines.
  If it gets to the point of invasion I think it’s fair to consider all of America having stabbed us in the back.
  Edit: just to try and be lighter about it - it’s like we all took in your movies and books and documentaries but America themselves in a staggering ratio seem to have missed the point or identified the wrong protagonist.
  
  We're waiting with bated breath.
  
  Just the South, and they have been the enemy of humanity for centuries, because they care far less about America than they do about their own racism, so much so that they went to war with America in the name of racism.
- All I'll say is I'll be watching where fire bans are in effect if it ever comes to that.
- I love the energy. But if you're gonna compare Canada to Vietnam I have to point out the obvious geographic and climate differences; along with its proximity and distance from the US.
  Get nukes Canada. Seriously, how do you guys not have fucking nukes?
  You might consider being the Cuba/USSR with China of this generation. Not even kidding.

We’re taking care of their military. We’re taking care of every aspect of their lives, and we don’t need them to make cars for us,” Trump told Time. “In fact, we don’t want them to make cars for us. We want to make our own cars. We don’t need their lumber. We don’t need their energy. We don’t need anything from Canada. And I say the only way this thing really works is for Canada to become a state.
Then stop importing and we'll see how long before it's a problem for the people.

Truly the dumbest timeline

China is walking this dumbass like a dog. How about we don't tie ourselves to this sinking ship.
- Russia is a dying country, and they're trying to graft the Ukrainian Population onto itself to buy itself another generation
  America is also probably a dying country, for different reasons, not population but resource. and they're trying to graft whatever resources they dont have in abundance , so they can survive another generation or two and shut themselves off from the world whilst they tear themselves apart domestically.

I like to idly game this out because it truly reflects how narcissistic and uninformed he is. So, he's talking about admitting Canada as a single state. Lets assume somehow that happens, even though the Canadians themselves would undoubtedly push for as many states as possible if joining the US were the only option.
You've now got a new largest state by both population and area, and one that has ridiculous reserves of resources and a coast-to-coast infrastructure. It instantly becomes the most important state. It's also full of millions of people who didn't want to be Americans and who've had a hundred years of more progressive governance than the US. Congratulations, Republicans, you've just skewed the Senate and completely fucked yourself in the House for a generation or more. You've also got 8 or 9 million Francophones who weren't even entirely sure they wanted to be CANADIANS, much less Americans, to say nothing of being Americans in a MAGA world. This is how real troubles begin.
So, in return for dubious "improvements" to the trade deficit, and certain (what?) administrative conveniences (I guess) for a military that already had basically all the access anyone would ever need, as well as a giant buffer territory you're not politically committed to defending with the same gusto you would your own soil, you completely upset the balance of power in Congress to your own party's detriment and add a huge population that hates their situation. Brilliant.
Although, I guess if you're just done with free and fair elections then a lot of these concerns evaporate...
- We'd be joined through the Puerto Rico route, as a territory. No representation. The 51 state is just a ruse to get the 17th territory, or whatever the number is.
  
  I'm so fucking tired of Americans saying shit like "omg Canada as the 51st state would totally skew our elections Democrat, get owned Trump!"
  The reality is, in any scenario where Canada gets annexed by the US, American democracy will not exist anymore by then. Even if there are fake elections, we'd most likely not be allowed to vote (à la Puerto Rico, as you point out).
  I do appreciate someone pointing out how utterly enraged us Francophones would be if subjected to US rule.
  
  Yeah, I guess just assuming ill intent and fascism makes it a simpler discussion that's still perfectly reasonable.
- Doesn't matter. He wants Canada because it is big on the map and if America had it then America would look bigger on the map and if it was at its biggest when Trump was president that would mean Trump was the best US president ever in every history book for all time. Same thing with Greenland.
  
  It's actually useful to note that Canada+USA together (19.8 sq km) is bigger than Russia (17m sq km) by about an India (3m sq km), but still short of the former USSR (22m sq km). But add in Greenland (2.3)? Now you've got the biggest country that ever existed.
  You're right, making an America that is the largest country on earth is precisely what his ego is after.
  
  I do unironically believe the Mercator projection has influenced how much he talks about Greenland.

He's so eloquent when he speaks, like listening to a butterfly's wings wafting over a boiling toilet

It's not him trolling us, it's his dementia trolling us. Or maybe his plain old stupidity. Honestly it's hard to tell at this point.

It's just something to grab the headlines and make people focus on something other than Hegseth and China.
- No, it's not. It's a 1930's that focused on a bloc of the United States, Canada, and Greenland.
  
  Fuck no this is a technocrat idea?!
  Hahahaha. Those fucking idiots had ideas so bad they're going to destroy the USA a hundred years later. Amazing

What cards does this nipple have? None.
Canada has freedom. America doesn't anymore. Canadians are never going to agree to rolling back their rights and freedoms for a has been country headed by a fucking dictator wannabe. Canadians will die before anything like that comes to pass. Canada may be no match militarily, but now that Canadians are aware of the dangers .. that won't be the case forever. Unless of course they decide to invade Canada right now.. Not likely.
- Canada simply can't afford to match America in conventional warfare. America has a more powerful military than the next 5 countries combined, and Canada isn't one of those. Unconventional warfare, on the other hand. I can't think of anything stupider than starting an unconventional war with a neighboring country with an incredibly long, weakly inhabited, border and a population that looks and sounds mostly like your own citizens. If even 1% of Canadians had a problem with that, there would be half a million insurgents that couldn't be easily identified.

So, we’re back to this. His poll numbers are tanking so he has to quickly get control of the news cycle again.
- I'm glad he got back to this literally days before a Canadian federal election.
  
  Fuckin' seriously. I said half a year ago that a potential silver lining to Trump winning might be galvanising us to vote against PP, and it looks like that's pretty likely to happen, so thanks, Trump, for one uplifting bit in your otherwise awful tenure.
  
  Not only is he going to secure a Carney majority, he may well cost Polievre his own seat.
  We'll be erecting Trump statues soon if he doesn't quit being so helpful.

MAGA: "Haha, he really triggered the libtards!!!"

ohno he really uttered the word "trolling" thats it its over humanity is done :cry:

The USA will need land to move our population to as climate change makes much of the USA no longer livable. His reasoning is evil in this case
- The US has more than enough land to resettle their own population, the population density of most US states can take that easily.
- Polite of you to assume they're going to care about the slave population while they live in comfort.

guys I think it's important to remember that the lot of us do not support this idiot in fact a lot of his own supporters have been turning on him in waves he's got the lowest approval rating of anyone and before you say but you voted him in our voting system is electoral based a lot of us did not vote him in a lot of us live in blue states you know what I mean like we do not support this guy we are a country over your 370 million people so I guess I just get tired of being grouped with all the a****** idiots who actually voted this guy in
- So what actions have you taken? "Not supporting" can be pretty fucking passive, and I for one will absolutely keep lumping you in with the other assholes until it upsets you enough to do more than whine on the Internet about it.
- A drunk and his goons just took over your bus and it’s headed right for a school, I get it, you didn’t do it! …even though everyone saw them standing on the curb with tommyguns and shitty fedoras before they boarded, but OK.
  Whatever happens from this point on is entirely on you and yours, now, though. History is watching.
- That's not going to matter when the shooting starts.
  
  Yeah sorry. If Americans invade Im not differentiating between who supported it and who didnt. You gonna die in a very unpleasant way.