coeliacmccarthy [he/him, they/them] @hexbear.net

1w ago

Pres. Trump gives Elon Musk and DOGE permission to look at Pentagon

www.nbcnews.com Pres. Trump gives Elon Musk and DOGE permission to look at Pentagon

President Donald Trump continues his efforts to reduce the size of the federal government, including the Pentagon, with the help of Elon Musk and his DOGE commission. NBC News Correspondents Kelly O’Donnell and Ryan Nobles and New York Times Chief White House Correspondent Peter Baker join Meet the ...

JDPON Don you done it again

49 comments

Insider sources say Trump may allow Musk to look at a rhombus if he behaves himself
- What about dodecahedron?
  
  it sucks
  terrible shape
  bring back rectangle

Fucking lol. Bet this is just another way for Elon to grift some more sweet sweet DoD money. Suddenly the army is going to "need" 10k milspec cybertrucks at $10million a pop. You know, for efficiency.
- Eventually Trump's gonna go in front of the media and say something like "We gotta get new missiles. Elon's making new missiles - future generation hyper 100 times sound so very, very fast. $500 billion contract to HyperMissile..." There's no information about HyperMissile anywhere. But HyperMissile.com was created the day before and the only thing on the website is a ginormous poop emoji.
  
  MissileX
  
  The American version of the V2 rocket killing more people in production than it did in combat.
- First you need the period of Elon Musk being publicly anti-grift until he realises it's a grift and he can get in on it. He's gonna go out and talk about the mic being corrupt and then, in a few days, when someone has explained it with enough bazinga terms, will he understand that yes it is corrupt and would you like some money Elon?
  Then he's gotta fuck up the grift somehow. Tale as old as time.
- Sadly, as much as I hope for really funny things to happen, this will be what he does.
- with dual redundant star link satellite receivers built-in

This whole DOGE thing is the most
ive ever felt before and im eating it the fuck up

Can confirm: 5 sides
- 5 stories, 5 rings, 1 kentacohut.
- How many do they really need?
  
  They should get it down to a quadrangle at least

Something stupid happens to the MIC or the MIC loses money or somebody in this admin gets shot
Good things do still happen
- elon walks into the pentagon and says take me to the black budget wing and they walk him into a janitor's closet and he's never seen again
  
  Woke disgrace "General" Milly gave our amazing rocket car friend Elon the "Khashoggi Special"...not good folks! They ruined the beautiful duffel bags! At least he'll still fit in the trunk of a wonderful new "CYBERTRUCK."
  A real shame for our tremendous Country! Oh well bye bye Mr Musk! He didn't fly so good, does Vivek wanna try next?

MIC vs DOGE
- we're X amount of days before an Elon Musk property gets mysteriously drone striked
  
  If the pentagon tried to kill him Michael Hastings-style, nobody would be able to tell if Elon's Tesla just did that.

They're going to find Allen Dulles hooked up like Mr House and then get ventilated.

Am I supposed to care about the sanctity of the pentagon? Libs really slept through Genocide then awoke when Trump attempted to stick a wrench in the genocide machine (To be clear, Trump loves genocide and thinks his genius wrench is the best there has ever been and will improve the machine bigly)

He's going to remove one of the sides and make it The Square
- He's gonna turn it into a pentagram

A decorated Pentagon official stands in front of the doors, blocked by a scrawny broccoli headed 20 year old.
Sorry, Mr. Musk is busy in here uhhh, can you like comeback another time?
The official walks away dejected, head low, kicking rocks as he goes. And so ended Americas global apartheid, as its maintainers fold under the "rule of law".

Either the military is completely inept or they want this to happen.
The imperial decline is palpable
- Whatever they break, it's only so they can privatize it. So its more a case of they want it and are kind of inept, but this is going to make money for whoever they choose to reward.

It's gonna be renamed to X-agon, isn't it?
- Truly cursed

hahaha lmfao

Oh fuck yes

49 comments