What's your most cruel prank so far?
What's your most cruel prank so far?
Hi. Have you ever woken up just feeling malicious, with a mood of "Man, I just wish to ruin someone's day for shits and giggles"? And what do you do in those situations?
I wonder, what's the best, meanest, cruelest prank you pulled on your friends or foes so far.
Gave annoying classmate onef those jelly beans where you can't tell until after you eat it whether it's (cinnamon|pencil shavings|.)
Handed red one to them , asked "this's cinnamon flavoured , you like cinnamon ?" . They tꝏk it , ate it then spat it out bcus wasz NOT cinnamon ! Reaction ? PRICELESS ❗
When I was little, I put salt instead of sugar in my dad's coffee for an April Fool's prank. My mom laughed but I felt bad about it, so I made him a real cup of coffee right after!
Get help
@Valmond Get stories to tell
I did when I was a little kid, but not as an adult.. cmon now
@drq Once I put a CO2 fire extinguisher under my colleague chair. He had a habit to really drop into his chair with all his weight so it was supposed to trigger a partial discharge - which was very loud with the stream of CO2 knocking things around but then it would dissipate without much trace so not much harm done.
The guy always came earlier than everyone else and spent some time watching YouTube before work so he supposed to be alone.
It worked. Except that morning our boss also came very early and was sleeping at his desk right in front of the setup. He also was a very toxic person and was going through his divorce which made him even greater asshole than usual. So the blast startled them both and threw some papers off his desk which resulted in all Hell breaking loose even though no one understood what the fuck happened and my colleague got all the blame in the moment.
@drq My colleague suspected me immediately so I had to come clean :) The boss wasn't interested as he had habit of blowing up at anyone he saw first no matter the situation and then forgetting (or "forgetting" and sending someone else to mend things he fucked up as people didn't took it well - one time we almost lost our primary ISP as he managed to piss off all their managers because of major outage which wasn't their fault even).
I found a cinder block on the sidewalk, and moved it to the road. Hid behind a tree and watched some poor guy in a van run over it, blowing a front tyre and doing some body damage. Thought it was funny at the time.
Teenage me was an asshole.
@hittherails Poor guy. Hope you got your comeuppance and grew as a person, for this was both uncool and unsmart.
100%. Many life lessons came since then which made me a better person. I still feel awful about this one 25 years later.
@asklemmy Okay, I'll start.
I don't know if it was my worst - but it was notable.
Back in school, I wrote a worm using nothing but bat files. It were Windows 9x days, so it was fairly easy if you know your way around file shares. It removed most of the files and replaced autoexac.bat with a blinking message. I let it loose in the informatics classroom.
It was a huge scandal, the whole week of informatics curriculum was ruined, my parents got a call, I was made to reinstall everything. But after all the dust settled, I got a lifelong A+ from the informatics teacher. She also offered me and my gang to learn C after class, on a promise I put my nasty mind to good use.
Then everyone clapped
We once did a collective book in class where everyone contributed something. My contribution was a simple DOS "virus" that would format the victims C drive.
The worst part was that since everyone's contribution was read out loud some poor kid had to read my bat script. Back then we didn't know how the @ sign is pronounced. We settled on alpha although I knew that was wrong.
@bjoerntantau Lil bit of Cryptonomicon vibes, the collision of code and literature nice.
@asklemmy Here's one more from me, also computer-related:
If you're in a non-English speaking country and your machines use layout switch function, add one more keyboard layout on every system you touch. Doesn't matter which one, but bonus points if it's as similar to ones present as possible, but different enough to matter - for example some letters are "switched". I used German, French and even Bulgarian.
Lock the session and watch the reaction.
You are welcome.
@drq Somewhat related pranks we did sometime:
Or they will go to the boss or the boss above that boss and then the prank is on you :)
@shuro Here's one more.
If you have a Unix-using friend who relies on the command history just a lil bit too much - like scrolling a dozen lines just to find an "ls" command, replace .bashhistory file with a poem of your choosing with lines ordered backwards next time they forget to lock their session.
Don't forget to back up the old file, though.
@drq@mastodon.ml @asklemmy@lemmy.ml back in school some poor soul forgot a windows netbook in the room, bios unlocked, us bored and having a usb stick with arch.
made him a very pretty desktop totally filled with random bat script references iirc.
back at uni nohup yes /tmp/foo & was everyone's favourite
@drq@mastodon.ml also: the evil joy of pressing a random sysrq key when your friend turned head for a sec and running away (easy way to lose a friend if timed [in]correctly)
@drq@mastodon.ml @asklemmy@lemmy.ml indeed, 5gb of those, overfilling ram.
Pooped in a toilet, the toilet never forgave me
@asklemmy Not a prank, just a story. Back at the Uni, we had a hall in the building, and that was where all of the administration was sitting. This was also one of two spots students hung out during breaks.
In there, there was an "Internet kiosk". In practice, the damned thing was just a crappy WinXP PC with a touch screen and a metal keyboard. It was useless, actually, almost nobody ever touched it, because there were better alternatives in the computer class. The speakers were loud, though.
By default, it opened a browser with a Uni's website as a homepage.
I loved how amazingly useless it was. So It was my primary target.
We ran Doom on it, we replaced the browser with MS Paint (boosting the usefulness 100-fold), replaced the homepage (at this point the whole administration learned what the fox said and that Rick Astley was never gonna give them up by heart, because it was 2013 and Internet was still cool).
On a year 3 I had to stop, though, because the dean was after my blood.
Aight this is a wild one, so buckle up. My old roommate always ate an orange in the morning. So get this, I went up the fruit bowl and switched an orange and an apple around. The next morning, he almost grabbed an apple! So funny!
You asked, I'll answer.
Find someone who thinks they are getting promoted. Tell them they've got the job. That when their boss left for lunch... That the boss actually just got fired. Convince them to pack up bosses office.
Don't do this unless you want to lose a friend
@andrewta Takes a hell of a charisma check to convince to pack up someone else's office, I suppose. But if you did pull it off - whoa, you got a silver tongue, my friend. I hope you reconciled later.
@drq@mastodon.ml @asklemmy@lemmy.ml well, it's not as crazy as everyone else's pranks but it was still funny to me when I was 12
I had Bashqort classes in school as a kid, but we weren't actually taught the language, it was just a required-by-law-but-nobody-cares class (which is really sad, I think). we just spent time looking for words in the dictionary or reading texts nobody understood aloud
one day we were given some adjective-noun pairs to translate with the dictionary, and a classmate was too busy playing a game on his phone to write it down, so he asked me. the pairs were quite generic, something like "beautiful flower" but I decided to have a little fun and told him the pairs were "dead child", "cold-blooded murder" etc. I was really obsessed with death and murders as a kid
unfortunately, he asked the teacher if she actually asked us to translate this and she was a bit shocked :neofox_laugh_sweat:
@wonderfoxdev Not bad, if lil bit morbid.
I thought to use mistranslations some time, but nah.
Not pulling out when I was banging your mom
@southsamurai pistol hands
