Skip Navigation

Tomorrow is my birthday and I couldn't care less fucks about it... I'm already dreading this year

I'm going to be 35 and nothing changes my life has been a boring slow downward spiral. Sometimes I welcome death to take me but unless it's a heart attack I don't see that happening anytime soon. And I don't feel like ending myself.

Still sexless, loveless with literary no friends and with a temp job that I dislike. I just drift in this world, I guess I could be worse, living under a bridge, but I still live with my mother and uncle, sleeping in a minuscule room shared with my uncle (he's another "loser" like me in his late 40s non married living with his sister, my mom). I'm sure y'all heard this before, life is unfair, and it's true, and I'm sure some other people out there are doing worse than me and are better "fighters" in life. But I'm not them, I'll never be them, it's not in me being that type of person.

Btw I'm not saying this just to get a response from you and I don't need a "happy birthday" reply... If anything that would piss me off more due being insincere, you are not my family and you don't care about me in the slightest (and rightfully so). But I just needed to say this to ease my pain.

Now maybe you can understand why I welcome the reaper, maybe you can tell me if you're in a similar situation.

25 comments
  • Nothing changes because you don’t want to change.

    Every time anyone offers you advice you dismiss it out of hand then post again about how terrible your life is.

    Still, happy birthday, I guess.

    • Every one of OPs issues are completely within their control to change, but they don't want to hear that. They want their pity party and want us to feel sorry for them. There are plenty of societal things that hold people down, but none of them puts you into this state of mind. This is a state of mind, and an unwillingness to realize that they are depressed and that they need help.

  • That sucks man, and I can relate with a lot of that. I got no real advice for you except that it's your life and yours to live.

    Having said that, I got a sense that your biggest problem is your attidute to the world around you. Putting sex first, calling your uncle and yourself "losers", and generally expecting strangers to not care about you in the slightest are all signs of an unhealthy and antisocial personality.

    I think love is something that finds you, friends are everywhere if look for them, and while finding a job you like is almost impossible, there is definitely a lot of stuff that you enjoy doing.

    But what do I know, I'm your age, sharing similar, if not same problems to which I don't know the answers to. But I don't share your attitude.

    You still got a home, a family, a job, phone and internet, working plumbing, food on your table, your health and a society that cares for you, even if you don't see it. You literally live better than billions today and 99% of people before you. You are not unhappy because of your life, but because of your perspective. Change it.

    Also happy birthday dude.

  • I relate to a lot of what you're writing - almost all of it in fact. Though my birthday is in the middle of the summer so my "feeling like shit due to being reminded of the passage of time" is evenly spaced throughout the year. In a way it would be nice to get them both out of the way around new year's like this.

    I don't have any helpful words. I'm also just drifting between distractions as I wait for either the courage to end it or death to find me of its own accord. And I relate to the guilt of knowing I have it "easy" really, and can't manage even given this favourable hand. I'm not going to say that it gets better, because I've never experienced that. All you can do is try to find solace in the fact that none of it matters, we're all insignificant and ultimately fated to be dust, dispersed and forgotten. So the rat race doesn't matter, and whether you make it within its confines or fail doesn't matter. There is some hope to be had in that thought, though I often fail to hold on to it myself.

    Also, it might be cheesy but who cares. Sometimes when I feel like shit this song makes me feel a little better. It is somewhat comforting to know that you're not alone, and I hope I managed to convey at least that.

  • Believe me, if there was something I could do to help, I'd do double that effort. I'd go so far as to say if I encountered you on my streets, I'd introduce you to a few good people.

25 comments