Anon's strict mom

But... but... people wouldn't just go and make shit up on the internet, would they?

Oh you sweet summer children, I take it you were never in the army, or else you would know of the dreaded desert jellies, and what it means to be on shower detail

With how plumber quality is in some parts? That's believable.

Clogged is probably a bit far but cum does congeal a lot with heat

Of course it's stupid, that's the point.

7. The story is bisexual and has a quantum physics relationship with the truth

You really thing an anon would do that? Just tell a lie?

It's obvious fake, but this was almost the norm (it's overblown in the "story" ofc) in the nineties, you wouldn't go to the computer with a paper towel lol.

Before smartphones, people were spying on everyone else just out of boredom and keeping mental notes about the smallest things, also all the sex stuff was not really taught in school and everyone was interested in it but nobody talked about it.

Very different times.

It's nonsense bullshit, maybe bordering on fetish-bait.

The semen clogging the drain part is a dead giveaway, because that's not a thing.

It became an urban legend because of a college prank years and years ago, and since then many young guys with limited critical thinking or reading comprehension failed to connect with the part of the prank that made it a prank, IE: that it's not true.

https://www.reuters.com/article/fact-check/housing-violation-notice-in-college-bathroom-prank-resurfaces-idUSL1N2MY2GV/

Well it's definitely not 5 on either count

anon is larping his mommy dom fetish that's all

Semen is actually fairly similar to egg whites (it can actually be used as a substitute in baking recipes). This means that when it gets hot, it cooks, and basically becomes solid.

The water in a shower is hot enough to cook it, so it can block the pipes. This is also why you should use cold water to wash it out of hair.

waffle-stomp my turd

Bruh 😂

Face glows when mom turns on the UV.

More like "what kind of shower drain is clogged by semen". And indeed, there are some. One at a place I've lived had a filter that had to be cleaned every now and then. No fapping in it was a given, but even some melted soap that re-hardens in it could end up clogging it.

his mom told him.

I like that this implies that OP's mom uses an 8 bit counting system

I'm imagining her at a super expensive restaurant getting a bill for like $547 and thinking "wow, this only cost $35!"

Mom uses uint64 sorry

OH NO

Arms.

I've heard that can happen, probably with shitty older drains or ones with hair clog problems already.

It seems more controlling than sociopathic. Sociopathic would be if the mother received pleasure from hurting him and others in some deranged and unnecessary manner. For example, she would find a way for him to hurt himself and others while taking care of business, while she enjoys the pain he and others experience.

what do you mean by this

I don't know how you can smell anything over that massive pile of bullshit.

I moved in with mine; now I can fap anywhere in the house. She likes watching me do it. I find it awkward but whatever. At least I don't have to pretend that the crumpled up bits of toilet paper everywhere are "snot rags" anymore.

Edit: What's with the downvotes?

I remember reading about a solution to this on Reddit once...

My dick is too long, goes in the water :(

Yeah just buy a cruise ship or whatever. Go into debt if you have to.

If his mom is doing that, it's likely he doesn't have a job because she won't let him.

His mother already seems to have one. Maybe he can borrow it from her.

Or break your arms.

4chan posts are never fake though

That's a bit extreme don't you think?

Bro wtf

buying a house? in this economy??

How if mom controls the tissue inventory?

and become homeless I guess

So you would rather protocol and document your child's masturbation behavior than just telling them to pay rent or get out? Both would be a lot less awkward, but thats just me i guess

What a culture!

And what about when they call your bluff and turn "semen inspection time" into a "guess where I came this time" game?

Then combine it with the "release numbered animals" and say there was n+1 to find when there's really only n.

Of course a christian user said this there is no other way someone would post this.

That's always the answer

Body fluids can be detected just with a UV light yes.

Watch Gordon do it to a gross hotel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQ4ZAZJphx4

The stuff youre talking about where forensic scientists spray stuff, they're spraying Luminol to detect trace amounts of blood because it reacts with the iron in the blood traces and makes it luminescent enough for it to be photographed in a darkened room even without UV.

Luminol is a chemical that reacts with hemoglobin to glow where very small amounts of blood might have been. That's usually sprayed, for detecting much smaller concentrations than what would show up under a UV light. That might be what you're thinking of.

I know from personal experience that splooge does not fluoresce under uv. Pee does however.